I’m struggling with porn and masterbation. I’m 45 year old female who has never had sex. I struggle with porn and masterbation because I’m absolutely fascinated by something I can’t have till I’m married. I don’t see myself getting married so I don’t see myself having sex anytime soon.
i go though phases where all I can think about is wanting to just randomly hook up with someone just to experience it. I so badly want to experience it and feel what it feels like. I know hooking up with someone random is not safe and is a dumb idea so I don’t think could ever go through with it bu I so badly want to. I feel like this will just make my addiction even worse and open a door that shouldn’t be opened. But I feel like I will never stop relapsing without knowing what that experience is really like. Of course this leads to fantasy and that leads to physical arousal that I have to fight and I stay sober for a few weeks. I’m at 6 weeks now but I’m so close to relapsing today and going straight to porn and masterbation to release the tension.
how do you over come something you really want to do experience but will probably never experience it.
I’m a 45 year old female and I’m really struggling with relapses. I seem to make it 4 to 6 weeks without porn or masterbation. I had some acting out dreams last night and I’m struggling with fantasy. So far I’ve made it 6 weeks today but the struggle is real. I’m so physically aroused down there that everything is charged and ready to go. I feel like if I cross my legs wrong I’m done for. I don’t know what to do with myself other than mastebate to release all the pressure. I fight it as hard as I can but in the end I can’t handle the urges and I give in just to make it go away. I know it’s withdrawal and I’ll never get past it if I relapse again. it’s also hard when it it also just feels good but it gets completely out of control and unmanageable. Anyway I’m just struggling to maintain sobriety and trying to find a way to stay sober.
Communicating your struggles hear is a great start. My counsellor for alcohol, marijuana and gambling addiction asked me. What is the opposite of addiction? I replied , sobriety? She said no, it’s human connection. My addictions led me to isolation and depression. I would strongly encourage you to search for meaningful human connection. I know that being completely honest with my wife and family helped me stay sober from my addictions. It resulted in a better relationship and sex life with my wife, and now I don’t even crave porn and masterbation. Before I would do it about once a week behind her back. I hope my message helps. Hugs to you. Im more than happy to talk more.