We are all here for you! Thank you for sharing with us. I’m glad to hear you are finding some support. Please keep checking in with us. Blessings to you.
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Hey…believe me when i say youre not alone! Just wanted to see if you are feeling any better and give a few encouraging words. I just celebrated 5 yrs clean and sober and in the first days of sobriety i never saw myself where i am today! It does get better…im sure it took you some time to get to where you are right now with your wife…shes just tired and its going to take awhile for her to come around but if you keep moving in the right direction everything starts to come back around. Youre family is hurt and you can heal and mend it just stay positive and on the right track. I have faith in you! One step at a time…one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time. Keep reaching out and be patient. Good things will come.
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You have an amazing counselor. Don’t ever forget that. She knows you are worthy of a good life and wants you to have it. (and we do too!!)
Keep your head up. I can feel brighter days in your future. Maybe it is just about finding the right medication, or the right treatment. I don’t know. But I can feel it.
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Well I had thought about going out today but due to the horrible weather I was stuck inside. As promised I called my counselor and spoke about my feelings today, which was mainly disappointed due to the weather. She told me that I could possibly have a support worker starting sometime next week which was a positive so just have to wait and see what happens. I got through the day alright considering how I have felt recently, I’m not sure if the new tablets are starting to work or if it’s the old medication leaving my system or just something in my head as I have been overthinking everything recently. Either way it was a better day.
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The last 2 days I have been feeling different. Not sure what is causing it, the old medication leaving my system, the new medication entering my system, something changed in my head or because I have someone to call on when I need them. maybe all of them but something has definitely changed. I actually slept for 6hrs solid which hasn’t been achieved for a long time although I was still awake for 20hrs prior to this. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep that has contributed to my thoughts aswell. Anyway, today I went out and bought some food instead of ordering it online, I can’t say I wasn’t feeling anxious as I was but the new tablets I have keeps my heart rate low so it is a lot easier to cope with as long as I get my breathing right. I got home, unpacked everything and thought about what I was going to eat. For some reason I didn’t want anything I had bought so didn’t eat anything. I’m not even feeling hungry either. Again not sure if that’s the tablets or in my head. I know I should eat but just can’t for some reason.
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You got out to the store and that is huge. Keep at it.
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It is a huge achievement for me but for most that is nothing. Have to keep going now and not stop. Only 1 way I want to go at the moment and that’s forward. Just have to battle the negatives the best I can or ask for help.
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Way to go, breaking down barriers. You’re on a good track and have the right ideas about it! Just keep doing things at the pace that is right for you. Happy to see things going better for you recently. 
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It’s great to hear this mate. Really is! A giant leap forward for you. Your posts sound so much more positive now. I’m really pleased for you Ady! 
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That’s an amazing step! I know how hard it can be not just to get to the shop but to actually enter, make it round and then cope with the checkout (that was the worst bit for me) It seems like it should all be so easy but it’s not! I’m so happy for you 
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I did the self serve as I didn’t want to have to communicate with someone and have an anxiety attack.
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So today I hit 90 days sober from all drugs and alcohol. I can’t believe it in a way and to be honest I’m surprised I’m still here and feeling a bit more positive. It has been a tough ride and I have to thank you all for your kind words and encouragement when I have been feeling so low. How I haven’t slipped back to my old ways considering what I have gone through over the last 90 days is beyond me but somehow I have. So today I went out for a walk into town, it was quite cold and windy which the voices in my head were making excuses for but I ignored the voices and stayed out for 2hrs. I went into a few shops just to look around and there were a few shops that I couldn’t walk into and I have no idea why but I was able to stay relatively calm and just move on. I called my counselor whilst I was out which helped me aswell as she was able to give me some advice on how to deal with my thoughts at the time. She also said she was really proud of me for how far I have come and for pushing my boundaries further than she had expected over the last couple of days. I should be feeling really happy but I’m not. Yeah I might be doing well but I have still lost everything and have to start again. The positive is I’m still progressing even if it is really slowly.
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Not sure what happened last night, I had a load of pain and then was pouring with sweat from head to toe. I went to get up and it felt like my eyes rolled back and I was going to pass out so slumped on the bed. Sweat was pouring out of me and I was feeling really hot then after about 20-30mins I stopped sweating and felt freezing cold, so I pulled the duvet over me and that’s the last thing I remember. Next thing I know is I’m waking up and its 12:30pm. Appart from feeling sticky from sweating I felt fine. Had a shower, got dressed, had breakfast and decided to go for a walk. I should of checked the weather as I wasn’t expecting a downpour so got absolutely soaked at which point I was cussing myself and the voices were saying things like that’s what you get, nothing goes right for you, what’s the point, you should of stayed in. I got back not feeling great obviously and got back in the shower and then started crying. Once I had sorted myself out I composed myself and called the counselor to talk. She said she was just about to call me as she has sorted out a support worker for me and asked if I wanted to meet her today which I obviously said yes to. They both came round later and discussed a lot of things with me. Starting from next Wednesday I will have a support worker 8hrs a day every other day until they feel they can make it less frequent. This made me feel so much better knowing I’m going to be getting all this support and hope that this proves to be the turning point of this chapter in my life.
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Having a counselor to talk things through with and give you support is awesome. I feel if I would have had someone to confide in, my suicide attempt may have never happened. Keep up the good work and always press forward .
Im sorry your not feeling great hope u start to feel better soon … thats great news that your be getting help and support… been thinking about how u was then i saw this post … god bless you x