Wow one day I’m good and the next I’m not. It’s like a roller coaster of emotions. Today hasn’t been easy I’ve been crying so much today there is so much trauma I have shoved down with alcoholism that it’s just all surfacing and creating so much stress on my mind and normally by now I pick up a drink to cope.
26 Likes
You’re not alone. In addiction we bury everything down and ignore it and bury it more every time, then when we get sober the spigot is open and the emotions flow. It will pass. In the meantime keep in touch here and with your other sober contacts and you will find what you need.
You are not alone, you are never alone. You can do it, together with us and your community 
7 Likes
Stay connected and find supports and resources to help you through this tough time.
Trauma is tough to deal with and when combined with addiction they often fuel each other.
Treating with one while not treating the other can also keep that cycle going.
Just remember that these are feelings/emotions and as tough as they may seem in that moment it is possible to survive and thrive pushing through (but having the support and resources is necessary as well as the learned tools and how to cope differently this time)
It is okay to feel angry, to feel sad, regret, rage, embarrassment, and all the other ones that the list could endlessly include. Google a Emotions Wheel or Wheel of Emotion and it may help you to better understand what you’re feeling.
You got this @Smootie8220
5 Likes
I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling today @Smootie8220.
It’s good to reach out on here.
I don’t have much of advise , all I want to say is that we are here for you.
Addiction is a terrible, sneaky desease and we can’t fight it alone. We need support.
TS is an amazing tool to keep in touch and not to feel alone in our fight.
Have you thought about professional help with your trauma. I guess some kind of therapy would be useful to work on it.
Sending love and strength!
You’re doing great! Don’t stop fighting the good fight!
7 Likes
This is exactly what happens, everything comes bubbling to the surface. and everyone on TS can lend you support. You are feeling all the feels and they are hard, but tears are healthy too. They might not feel like it but they are a release. I have been there. Some days I still get stuck on the really heavy feelings and the regrets of time wasted and the traumas that happened to me, but the sting has faded after an period of sobriety and I can redirect to the now. You can learn to do that too. Sit with your feelings, let yourself feel them, but please try not to let them take up residence in your heart. Remember why you’re doing this and imagine a brighter future.
If you haven’t done it yet, it can be really helpful to write a list of why you drank, what drinking did for you that was both good and bad. Then write a list of why you are choosing sobriety. What will being sober bring to your life. Or more simply a Pros and Cons list about alcohol. It’s something that can help you wrap your mind around it and you can look back at it when you’re feeling weak or sad. You might be too raw to do it right now, but it might help you process your emotions too. Hang in there chica. This rawness will pass as long as you let it happen.
6 Likes
Understood. 
The only way out of it, is through it. Keep going. We’re right here with you. Try to remember, the sun is ALWAYS shining. Even when you can’t see it, even when you can’t feel it, still it shines. And it will shine again for you. You got this!
5 Likes
Keep talking @Smootie8220, stay connected with us and avoid isolating if you can. We’re here for you.
4 Likes
This is perfect example of how health professionals dont have a clue…they actually blame our depression ect on our addiction however they dont realise or ask themselves why u ended numbing life out with drink or drugs because of trauma…and when we get into recovery all those basic day to day emotions we blocked out for soo long is still very much there nd now we have no choice but to feel all of it and its very scary and overwhelming…more mental health support is needed for people in recovery x
6 Likes
Oh the past, I so disliked mine and the things I did/didn’t do along with a bunch of shitty people and things that happened from childhood to sobriety. But I can’t change any of it, neither can anyone else regarding theirs. So as I see it we’re all equally fucked on that one!
I do not beat the crap out of myself about things I can’t change. I feel you should not either. Pen to paper on our feelings helps, going to meetings help, being on here helps. Getting out of our head is important!
Something inside you made you want to stop doing the same ol same ol. It’s beautiful (sanity to be truthful) and we are all so glad you’re here.
Hugs and a beautiful 7 to you & see ya on 8!
6 Likes
Thank you so much I greatly appreciate the words of advice! It’s nice to have the support here!! 
4 Likes
Thank you so much! It had been rough but I’m trying to stay on the right path. I listened to a podcast and it helped and I called my mom for support and it was nice to talk with someone and vent!
4 Likes
Thank you sooo much for all your words and amazing advice! I’m doing th best I can and trying to stay in the path of sobriety as I really do want this! I went for a walk with my dog and listened to a podcast for about an hour and a half. It’s pouring rain but I was really soothing to get in touch with nature. The walk did help clear my mind. I’m about to start journaling today. And maybe read a book I’ve been wanting to pick up just trying to keep myself busy with healthy activities!
3 Likes
Thank you so much I’m trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel and keep chugging along. The support in here really helps and feels good to vent when I am struggling!
2 Likes
Yes it is scary and overwhelming but I feel the only way I have to get over it is accept it and learn to be there for myself in a way I never have! It’s definitely true how they blame trauma on that but in reality it’s the other way around for me at least my trauma is what has created my life towards alcoholism.
Thanks for your input!
1 Like
Thank you and yeah I’m learning the hard way. I’ve been in the same shoes as you it seems. Nice to hear from someone that has been through that chaos. But to me I feel like from childhood it was always in my life and I always felt comfortable in the chaos I know that sounds weird but it’s true. Now, that I’m not in chaos and actually starting to become level headed and having clarity of so many things that have happened in my life it definitely gets me out of my comfort zone. But, I know I need to get out of my comfortable ways as they only lead me to destruction and chaos. I really want this more than anything just harder to get through than I really imagined.
2 Likes
This is the hardest time for any and all addicts. Our feelings r powerful and our unresolved tramas, like you said, cause us to relapse bc it’s easier to pick up than keep fighting. But you did keep fighting and you can continue too! Do what u did here… reach out… talk about it… I just unloaded some feelings at a meeting and I’ll tell you… tye problems may still be there but I feel better and am more accepting of the fact that they were there.
Proud of you! Keep up the good work.
The drink/drugs ain’t worth all we become or give away for just another one
3 Likes
Awesome job trying to keep busy and stay positive! 
I LOVE a good walk, too! Nothing seems to clear my head quite as well. You like to read? Have you read Holly Whitaker’s “Quit Like a Woman”? That one helped me save my life, made everything click. Always recommend Allen Carr’s “Easy Way for Women to Quit Drinking” also. Try hot tea. Sounds too simple, but it can be soo soothing, and it’s fun to try different kinds. Bout to have some honey lavender. 
You’re doing it! 
👩🏻🤝👩🏼
3 Likes
I feel you, I really do. I’m on day 31 and had a breakdown yesterday. My soon to be ex wife is out of town and I have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old. And it was just one of those Saturdays NO ONE was in a good mood. Lots of tears and tantrums, but I survived another day. That’s all I can do. You got this!
4 Likes
Great work on your seven days. Gabor Maté has some work on addiction and trauma that might interest you. There is quite a bit on YouTube that you can easily find for free, and some books if you are a reader.
It can be really hard to not give in to the temptation to try and escape the pain of the past. Take each moment as it comes, especially right now in the beginning. Do you have access to a psychologist (not a psychiatrist)? If not, and if you are able, finding one you like and trust might be very worth your time and money.
Hang in there.
3 Likes
It might sound a bit odd, but this is true for a lot of situations in life: “Pain is necessary, but suffering is optional!”. I am using this when i am on my bike and it is freezing and everything hurts, but this is also very true for your situation…Take care and keep going
4 Likes