So I got 5 months and 19 days today and so far I have done really good with not having many urges to use of thinking about using again at all really this is mainly due to the fact that I had open heart surgery recently for a heart disease I got from using needles for a long time. I almost died so I know what can happen if I go back to that and that has helped a lot knowing that and also being on methadone but yesterday they did a random per test which I’m fine with I’m not dirty but I had just went to the bathroom so I couldn’t go and they have a 15 minute limit of you can’t per in that time it’s marked as a dirty bottle automatically and now I could be discharged from the program and I know that I can’t cold turkey from 95 mg of methadone I won’t be able to do it the withdrawals are so horrible I can’t go through that I know that if this happens I’ll have to get high I’ll have to use heroin to of withdrawals and I don’t want to I’m not looking forward to going back to that lifestyle and everything else that comes with it I don’t want to do that again and I’m scared and don’t know what to do right now and I really really need some support.
Hey, heroin is not my DOC but just wanted to say a big well done on your sober time so far. Sounds like you have a great foundation and lots of reasons to keep it up.
I know this is easier said than done, but don’t jump ahead to conclusions in terms of being discharged. Can you speak to whoever runs the program about your concerns? Might help put your mind at ease. For now though, you haven’t been kicked out, focus on that and keep adding those clean minutes, hours and days.
@Englishd I know it’s not your part of the country but seems like the sort of thing you might be able to share some wisdom on
Also @Natnat and @anon13078412 for some UK based moral support.
Thank you. Yeah I have slot to live for now a days and finally I have some family I can lean on for support that I didn’t have before so that’s amazing. But yeah so right now I’m waiting for some calls back about what’s going to happen my problem is I automatically assume the worst so I always just give up even before finding out the final outcome because in my head I already believe nothing but the worst can happen
Your are doing amazingly,and if having heart surgery isn’t the most stark reality to stop using then I really don’t know what is,o was a iv user for 15 years so I feel your pain but remember now moving forward your doing great and you should be so empowered and humbled by your acheivement to stay clean BC there’s always choices to use or not so be proud be very very proud.
I am man thank you.
Your local emergency room can usually give you a one or two day supply of buprenorphine in an emergency. They probably have a social worker that can help you find a different clinic or a rehab to go to. You definitely don’t have to use if you get cut off
Yeah I just found out there’s another clinic that will do walk in same day doses only like 40 mg starting but that’s way better then nothing so I’m beginning to calm myself a little more now
Hello I totally understand what your going through… heroin is definitely the devil drug … message me anytime you need help support or just someone to listen . We can beat this together good luck x
Brilliant that you have some family to lean on and some other options open to you if you do need them. Keeping everything crossed for you that you get some good news and the support you need.
Let us know when you hear back?
Yes of course will do.
Think the opposite of that; you’re going to make it and nothing is gonna get in your way…
