Sort of an update to this original post: OG POST HERE
Survived my first work event yesterday and today, still sober (12 days). It went so amazing! My boyfriend picked me up and I just broke down in happy tears. He was so proud of me, but even more importantly, I WAS PROUD OF ME.
I did Diet Coke and lime the whole time. I dreaded walking to the happy hour and dinner and my anxiety was so high. I sort of mourned the loss of what the events used to be for me and realizing I had no liquid courage to help me with my social anxiety…but only for a short period. All the memories of being sloppy, embarrassing myself, throwing up, and being a fool came rushing back in. I remembered so much of what I hated about myself when I drank and I was determined to be as social as I could be, with Diet Coke in hand.
And you know what? I HAD AN ABSOLUTE BLAST. I had meaningful conversations. I networked. I made jokes and made people laugh. I spoke eloquently and clearly. And you know what else? Only one person asked me why I wasn’t drinking. I said I was on antibiotics and they said “You want another Diet Coke?” and that was that. No judgement, no rebuttals. I built it up in my head to be this big judgement of myself, and no one cared at all.
Went to day two clear headed. Woke up early. Got ready. Felt great. Got there to see SO MANY hungover people and I was so happy I was not one of them.
12 days is the longest I have been sober in years. I can’t believe how much has changed in just that short period and I never want to go back.
