I’m starting today to go sober from years of heaving drinking. Does anyone have any advice for when I spend time with people to NOT need to drink? My SO agreed to go sober with me, he drinks occasionally, but he has gotten through it on his own. I know I cannot do it alone!
Thanks guys!
Hi there Kascie, welcome to the forum. It’s a big step to acknowledge you have a problem, but you did it, therefore I am proud of you 
In recovery you must all ways be aware of addiction creeping in, therefore I highly recommend checking in every day to maintain focus on your goal in the following link.
You will discover that your mind goes to drinking very often at the start of sobriety. I recommend finding some hobbies to keep your mind off drinking. Some hobbies are good for physical health and some hobbies are good for mental health.
A few hobbies that are good for physical health are running, walking, cycling, dancing, swimming, yoga and fitness.
and some hobbies that are good for mental health are drawing, reading, writing, mindfulness and just about anything that makes you happy.
Mindfulness has a lot of advantages. It teaches you to pay less attention to thoughts, which is useful for memories that fill you with shame and guilt.
I also recommend giving your addiction a name. I named mine Brutus. Since I gave it a name I am more aware of him creeping up on me. I also know what I’m fighting now because it’s no longer a nameless blob to me.
Simply reading on this forum a lot is useful too, because it helps you maintain focus on your mission. You will probably also find others with a similar faith. And together we have at least 300 years of experience of recovery, so there’s some great advice on here.
Thinking about not drinking for the rest of your life is a big burden and a terrifying thought. But when you think, I am not drinking today and I’ll see about tomorrow tomorrow makes it a lot easier.
Over the years your mind has become a monster. It will do anything in its power to kill you through addiction. It will be there when your life is shit, but also when it’s great. Then it will make you believe that you have the strength to have just one sip, but don’t ever believe that, it’s BULLSHIT. You cannot drink once because you will relapse and it will possibly kill you.
If you ever have cravings, which you will, play the tape. Look into the future and think what will happen if you relapse. Will you be happy and jolly and dancing and singing or will you hate yourself and feel a lot of shame, guilt and disgust and possibly lose EVERYTHING? I think the latter, don’t you?
Your past is likely filled with a lot of guilt and shame and you may want to forget about it, but you mustn’t. The past is written and will not change, but it will help you shape the future. See, the past has a lot of valuable lessons. You know your mistakes, so you know not to repeat them again.
I hope all this information helps you out while you’re laying the foundation of recovery.
Maybe try a zoom meeting or ftf if they are open in your area get new sober friends wish you well