“Worked” from home but really I stayed close here and kept on reading so I could build up enough strength and courage to get through today.
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I do my best to keep my mind active, unless I am meditating. Distraction helps. This week has been easy, but that’s probably because work is really slow because of the holidays, and therefore less stressful. I fear for what might happen when it picks up again soon.
I’ve also started taking Now Foods ashwagandha again, but I’m not sure it has helped with the cravings. I’ve taken it before and it seems to help with anxiety, so it’s probably helping at least indirectly.
I just wish I had people IRL I could talk to about it. But I don’t have shit.
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Great work on keeping active. It really helps me keep clear of the cravings.
Knowing that work craziness may be triggering…maybe have plans in place to help you cope.
I’m sorry that you don’t have irl support. Are you able to attend any meetings or recovery groups? Possibly find a sponsor to help you? It helps finding support among others that understand the addiction struggle.
We are here for you. 
Wishing you luck on your journey.
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Stayed home! (Safety base)
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Coffee with a sober sister
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Made myself warm milk with cinnamon and honey. It helped. 
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Thank you
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I’m gonna go to an online smart recovery meeting on the drive home from work, instead of a podcast
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Watered the plants to get over my cravings.
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Cooking cooking and kitten taming today for me.
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Walked 18,000 steps with the dog today!
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Beautiful, so well done!
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Did groceries for a sick friend and delivered them. This included an hour long bike 
ride which is always a good thing.
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Oh this is gorgeous!
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That is so awesome - love it!
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Went for a walk, drank coffee, watched anime, and did not fall for the ‘you really need DOC now’ voice.
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In all honesty, I came really close to relapsing. My fatigue is really and in low lot areas and my church is like that so I kept falling asleep and my family got annoyed and kept calling it “convienent tiredness” and when I told them I didn’t feel well they said they didn’t want to hear me complain but the thing is my grandma just got diagnosed with covid and pneumonia so I thought it’d be smart to tell them I didn’t feel good so we could take action whatever way they’d want to. Like get me tested for covid immediately to rule it out. I started to feel like I wasnt cared about. I was just annoying, and a hassel. Then I had to do tons of stuff for my parents like wiping the snow off the cars and shoveling off the deck. Then I did the dishes all while my mom screamed at me for putting on her boots instead of mine which was a truly honest mistake, while she did absolutely nothing to help. She watched TV while my dad and I were out shoveling and she didn’t even do any chores inside so I ended up doing those too. It’s just the fact that she couldn’t even thank me and felt the need to complain about so many things that I did wrong but didn’t appreciate what I’d done to help. Its hard. I just went out and did the cars one more time before I went to bed. I’m so frustrated. I’m not sure how to communicate to the family that I need a break. I need some time to do something for me. I don’t do any of my hobbies anymore and I want to get back to them. They’d help my mental health. I’m struggling a lot bc I want to hurt myself I thought about it for a bit but decided it’s not worth it. My strength to not cut is dwindling as I get more tired of this regular routine of doing everything for everyone else but rarely for me. It’s important to do for others but everything in moderation. I’m doing a little too much for everyone else because I’m leaving myself in the dust. When I’m done doing for the family I have nothing left for me. I’m struggling really bad and the only thing Ive done for me is cook an awesome meal and call a friend.
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I consciously made the decision to not drink and made a mocktail instead. Luxardo cherrries inside my black cherry Clear American, with a whole lotta ice. Happy I wasn’t weak, because for a brief moment there I thought about just having alcohol.
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Went to muay thai, class was about an hour and a half
Spent time with my cat 
Took a nap
Picked up my new glasses and ran a couple quick errands
Watched doctor who and treated myself to Portillos 
Found some new perler design ideas on pinterest for my next project 
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