In all honesty, I came really close to relapsing. My fatigue is really and in low lot areas and my church is like that so I kept falling asleep and my family got annoyed and kept calling it “convienent tiredness” and when I told them I didn’t feel well they said they didn’t want to hear me complain but the thing is my grandma just got diagnosed with covid and pneumonia so I thought it’d be smart to tell them I didn’t feel good so we could take action whatever way they’d want to. Like get me tested for covid immediately to rule it out. I started to feel like I wasnt cared about. I was just annoying, and a hassel. Then I had to do tons of stuff for my parents like wiping the snow off the cars and shoveling off the deck. Then I did the dishes all while my mom screamed at me for putting on her boots instead of mine which was a truly honest mistake, while she did absolutely nothing to help. She watched TV while my dad and I were out shoveling and she didn’t even do any chores inside so I ended up doing those too. It’s just the fact that she couldn’t even thank me and felt the need to complain about so many things that I did wrong but didn’t appreciate what I’d done to help. Its hard. I just went out and did the cars one more time before I went to bed. I’m so frustrated. I’m not sure how to communicate to the family that I need a break. I need some time to do something for me. I don’t do any of my hobbies anymore and I want to get back to them. They’d help my mental health. I’m struggling a lot bc I want to hurt myself I thought about it for a bit but decided it’s not worth it. My strength to not cut is dwindling as I get more tired of this regular routine of doing everything for everyone else but rarely for me. It’s important to do for others but everything in moderation. I’m doing a little too much for everyone else because I’m leaving myself in the dust. When I’m done doing for the family I have nothing left for me. I’m struggling really bad and the only thing Ive done for me is cook an awesome meal and call a friend.
I consciously made the decision to not drink and made a mocktail instead. Luxardo cherrries inside my black cherry Clear American, with a whole lotta ice. Happy I wasn’t weak, because for a brief moment there I thought about just having alcohol.
Went to muay thai, class was about an hour and a half
Spent time with my cat 
Took a nap
Picked up my new glasses and ran a couple quick errands
Watched doctor who and treated myself to Portillos 
Found some new perler design ideas on pinterest for my next project 
Oh, that doesn’t sound like an easy situation you’re in. I assume you live with your parents? Do they know what you are struggling with? If not, I think you should try and explain it to them.
I understand your feelings. Being criticized all the time, feeling like your mother doesn’t care about your wellbeing, not even getting a simple thank you … that must be extremely frustrating. But you stayed strong - nice job! 
Been working six days a week for the last couple of months, and today is my day off. My agenda today is to take it slow and easy. I have an eye exam this afternoon because I’m in dire need of some new glasses. Then I’m going to treat myself to a haircut and shave, 'cause I’m feeling a little sloppy. Then I’m going to hang out by myself at a coffee shop and catch up on some journaling.
Meditation
Traveled!!!
Took the day nice and slow. Went to my niece’s birthday party, relaxed for most of the evening, finally put away all of my laundary 
Lastly, read my book and checked in on here!
I worked hard today on house stuff. Did absolutely everything so my partner could have a restful day with a bad shoulder and back.
I’m 6th day sober and yesterday was a day I was challenged with some external ups and downs driving my emotions on a rollecoaster. Wanted to drink. But then I remembered emotions are not the whole truth, do not represent facts and reality outside and I must stick to the goals set for myself. That helped a lot. 
Good for you for overcoming the urge and for following your goals!
Hopefully today you get to rest that back and shoulder! Take it easy 
Picked up this great recliner from a friend’s house, who wanted to get rid of it. His kids were visiting. He is almost packed. Was a really nice visit.
Today I am going to hold a plank for 1 minute and 40 seconds because I like to see what my body can do.
I’m also going to walk the 15 minutes to work in feels like -40 degree conditions. I like the sunshine and I like to do hard things.
I’m going to be fully caffeinated and work for 8 hours at a job I really enjoy.
I’m going to eat a good lunch.
Grocery shopped!!! I’m going to making more dairy free recipes! I want to make a dairy free Alfredo!
Cooked again!! With my health struggles I’ve had to change my diet so this was a non dairy Alfredo sauce with peppered chicken, LOTS of garlic! I also bought an oat milk based ice cream chocolate chip cookie dough for dessert! So so good!
Same! Spent some time cleaning out my office (it’s been a while), finally taking a break now. It feels so good to get rid of old things, get more organized,
and of course stay busy and sober. All of it helps me feel so much clearer mentally.
Swam almost a mile to exercise anger and fury at the stupid people of the world.
This week’s been hard. And every night I’ve dreamt that I’ve slipped up and had a drink.
Today in going to treat myself to a take away tea or coffee, challenge myself physically, and read my book Lost Connections