The 1st relapse for me

after 12 days, had my first relapse. I dont want to talk about the specifics. Believe me, I am a master at self punishment. Just full of guilt, shame and disappointment.

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Yesterday i also relapsed. I was feeling so bad that a didn’t want to talk with anyone about it, even in this forum.
I am glad you want to talk about it here…
1st of all I would say, forgive yourself. Don’t punish yourself for this relapse.
Do the things to feel better, hangout with family or friends, call any friend, anything to feel good.

The more you feel bad about the relapse more you go backward in your progress. See the positive side 12 wins 1 lose.

Relapse are part of this process, it depends on us how do we take these relapses.

Do not let the 12 days wasted just for 1 relapse.

Have a good day friend.
Start with more energy from tomorrow.

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Hi Joe. I am sorry to hear you are feeling bad. I just finished watching a video shared in a recent thread by @Chiron. It talks about the reason we can’t stop after one drink. I found the most meaningful part if the video for me being around 40 to 45 minutes in until the end when it talks about brain chemistry. Instead of beating yourself up this morning, consider taking an hour to watch the video. Educating yourself to promote change is better than self loathing in my opinion. Hang in there.

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I doubt there’s anyone on here who didn’t relapse at least once. I had a bunch of short quits, 2 weeks, even a month or so. All it took was one drink, the drink that matters…the first drink, and I was right back on the merry-go-round of alcohol abuse. The thing is, all of my relapsing was done before I discovered the TS application even had a forum. Up until my last day drinking, all I had used the app for was for the counter.

You haven’t lost those 12 days. They are waiting for you right where you left them: the place where you decided to step off of the sober path.

Get back on the path. It’s not the easy path. It’s the hard path. It’s the path of freedom. Don’t spend too much time looking behind you. Your future isn’t there. Nope. It’s in front of you. Turn around and keep walking, one step, one day at a time. Keep moving forward, even when you have to crawl.

The best part of the path is there’s lots of beautiful souls who are walking the same path. Some ahead of you. Some behind you. Some beside you.

Get back after it.

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You’re here, which speaks volumes. Next time you want to pick up the bottle again, log in and chat. It’s stopped me on multiple occasions. Good luck.

Hey there! I’ve relapsed also yesterday, after 60 days sober., feel so bad. But we are all in this together and we’re hereto support each other. Feel always free to share your feelings we’re here for you

chin up stand tall move on.
That’s all done now, time to write the next chapter. :v::pray::muscle:

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This sounds like you’re planning on having more. Please try to change that thought to “only relapse”. Get back up, dust yourself off and try again. They say the relapse starts before you actually relapse. Try to identify what you were doing and thinking the day before to help you going forward. Then come on here the next time you’re in that same mindset. We’re all here cheering you on.

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I debated if I even wanted to come back here. I did. And I am starting over again.

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I am f ing weak, that’s what happened. Harsh I know, but I see a bottle and I can’t walk away?

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your not weak your ill, don’t blame yourself. I’m sure when someone asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up you didn’t reply an alcoholic :smirk:. Heal the mind and the rest will come.

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Below is the thread @Roundkick was talking about if you’re interested. I know it’s difficult, but try not to be so hard on yourself. There’s more in play than just your will power. Just go forward from today. This time you got 12 days, next time will be more. Just keep trying and eventually you’ll make it.

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Well if your weak why even bother…

Thats not the point. Imma be straight with you.
Stop wining and hitting youself over the head.
It won’t do jack shit for getting you in to your recovery.
And not talking about your relapses, doing shit alone doesn’t doe jack either.
The people that find succes here. The people that comment on your post…
Those are people who connect who interact who share who stop doing it alone.

Joroe… You are not alone in this we are al the bloody same we are ill. So if thats the case stop calling me fking weak.

You know what’s weak Monday till sinday thats week. You can use every freaking day to learn and invest in recovery.

The suggestions above are awesome, stop hitting youself and start doing something to get clean. To liv clean. To find a new way.

Good luck to you i am rooting you’ll get up dust off and connect with us rather then rejecting yourself.

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Joker. I wish you were here so when I started feeling sorry for myself, you would kick me in the balls to snap me out of it. Thank you for your honesty. I will use your words of advice moving forward. And thanks to the others here replying, it is much appreciated.

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:headphones:

Keep coming back! I’ve reset my timer so many times I can’t even count. I’m on day 4 right now after many relapses. I’m trying to evaluate what I need to do differently this time. I never did AA before. I’ve joined a few online meetings the past few days…it’s been a bit helpful even though it seems like a lot of work because it is. This is all so much work. If we want it we will have to do whatever we can to get it. One of my friends told me that when I get a craving to just sit for 30 minutes or so. Acknowledge the cravings. Don’t give in and let it pass. Every time I fall back it’s because I didn’t give myself time to feel the frustration of what I wanted to do so badly…reach for that drink. Don’t give up. Forgive yourself. Only look forward. I had the worst craving today at work. I work at a grocery store so I’m forever around people buying wine and beer. One of my coworkers today was clocking out and happily said “beer time”. A part of me wanted to slap her across the head…the other part of me knows that it’s really not fun. A hangover is not fun. Guilt is not fun. One thing I’ve learned here as that everyone has their own approach and own advice. Some people on here are newly trying to get sober…some for years. Perspectives will be different of course but everyone here wants for you to get better :slight_smile: We all want the same thing. Good for you for being honest. Try to relax. Listen to a meditation…drink something other than alcohol. You deserve to be happy. For yourself. Big hugs! Wishing you the best! You can do it if you want to

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I get that urge too as I hear clients talk about drinking. Or with someone difficult. I really appreciate the play the tape forward practice. I know that movie, I’ve seen it so many times. The movie I don’t know is the sober one. Another thing to try is deciding what you want to do behavior wise with all the extra time you will have when you are not drinking, recovering, thinking about drinking etc. That is the hardest part for many.

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It really is like a movie when you know the ending is always a bad one drinking. It’s so true with thinking about your free time because so much revolves around alcohol. I took a very long walk the other day and realized how I needed to force myself to get out more instead of…work go home…drink repeat.

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Thankyou for taking th time to respond. Much appreciated.

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It’s 3AM I can’t sleep bc I drank. I’ve reset my sober timer so many times this past month too. I haven’t gone to a meeting bc of virus, so this is my first step to getting back on track. I remember what is was like when I was clean for a whole year, I know it’s easy just need motivation to get started again. Thanks for sharing!