Well, never thought I would be continuing my life story with such a negative attitude especially as things have gone so well for me in sobriety. So earlier this year April 20th to be exact me and my partner relapsed, I had a stint of 6 weeks and then reached out to AA again, reason why? My dad had been in and out of hospital since February and died 19th May, I was just watching him die, very stressful time and the one thing I was worried would make me falter. I’ve had just over 2 months off from work and now I’m back, I tried talking to them but feel like I’m a hinderence to the company and it doesn’t help that I had a go at my boss for not feeling supported and I keep getting a bollocking from him. I notified my boss that my partner was drinking and I had real concerns as my partner works for the same company which Is a recovery service for people dealing with addiction and I have been made to feel like I’m bringing problems to the table. My partner had gotten to Daily drinking and the times he drank were getting earlier every day. I’d had him removed from our holiday apartment by police then he stayed away for a week spending all the holiday money and racking up credit card debt on hotels, drinking, buying new clothes etc. I’ve had to take out a personal loan to clear the debt. I’ve walked out with the kids after an evening of him being a prick then he had 2 weeks sober and yesterday he calls me at 2.30pm saying he’s in a local beauty spot drinking, by 8.30pm he had drank 7 cans of larger and went out to buy more. Its really difficult to stay sober when he drinks but I’m determined to do it. Because of all the emotional episodes I’m now being called up for an investigation in work. Things such right now. My ex last month refused to return our son after contact, thankfully he is home now but I am going through court to stop the ex taking the children and only to have supervised contact hoping to have a date tomorrow of when this will go to court for a hearing.
If you ever think you can drink normally it’s a lie your addiction tells you when your at your weakest
Jesus. Dunno what to say right now other than, welcome back Michelle. Good to see you keeping up the good fight whatever has happened. 
Michelle!
Oh my friend…I am so glad to hear from you and so sorry to hear about your Dad. A loss like that shakes us to the core and makes the world a place we don’t know for a long while.
Good on you for getting back to AA and for reaching out here. You are so loved, and you have done so much good for people in recovery (myself included). All that hard work isn’t lost… we just pick back up and know we can’t drink today.
What do you need, my dear? How can your friends here best help you? Please always know you can DM me at any time.
Sending so much love to you and your kiddos…
Holly
Thanks Holly, I think I just need a place to sound off and make sense of what’s going on right now. I’m at my mum’s this weekend with the kids and have a tone of fun stuff planned with the kids. my partner is drinking again and sending shitty text messages and drinking, I get digital receipts from the food store so I know what he’s bought and also noticed a 2nd transaction at the corner store which looks like he’s bought at least 12 cans. He has my credit card as I have just had a tax rebate so I have frozen my card so he can’t spend anymore whilst I’m away. His antics drive me to want to drink grrrrr, luckily I’m with my mum who doesn’t drink and reminds me my dad would be so dissapointed if I went back down that road. I did buy a bottle of non alcoholic wine to share with mum and its been a great placebo, as I’m not looking for a high just a relaxant. When my partner phoned I had it on speaker so my mum could hear what I have to put up with when he’s drinking. It’s not even for satisfaction just so I know I’m not crazy. I know by now I should call off the wedding next march, every fiber in my body tells me it’s bad I don’t know why I’m hanging on x
Forgot to mention I am attending therapy, once a month personal therapy and twice a month group therapy and my court date is set for the 19th July without notice to my ex.
My heart breaks for you, Michelle. Losing my dad put me into a deep 6 month depression along with heavy drinking and drugging. Probably the worst time of my life so I know that pain you’re feeling.
Glad to hear you’re back at AA and working on your recovery. As previously said, all that time is not lost. You had a small bump in this long ass road we travel. Get back to basics and don’t forget self care. You have to take care of yourself first so that you’re at your best for your children.
Sending you the biggest hugs. 
Vent away, dear! I’m glad you are with your Mum. Keep listening to your instincts - they have served you well. Know that you are so loved and that your friends here are sending thoughts and hugs to you. You are such a strong, courageous woman… head up, my friend.
Feel like I’m going insane, my partner has been drinking again since Wednesday everyday it’s messing up my work because I can’t trust him with my kids. I had to take my son to counselling today and by the time I got home he had drunk 5 cans. Summer break is coming up how am I supposed to trust him while I’m working. What do I do? I have court tomorrow against my ex seeing the kids. He don’t get it. Ffs guidance needed and prayers
Tell him your kids welfare is more important than him getting buzzed; either he cleans up or goes somewhere else.
Oh I’ve had drama with him the last 2 days the last week, I have a back up, his niece is a teacher who will look after my kids in the holidays if he’s not upto it. I don’t need him
Why just flecking why am I putting up with this site, love has laot to answer to. Meh. Flipping jeckle and Hyde spring to mind bit obviously my fault. Building resilience around this shit is hard when you’re going through recovery yourself. I know the answers but I’m playing dumb for now. Dick heads and heartbreak 
Just checking in on you, Michelle… how’s things?
Lots of ups and downs, we are being amicable. The wedding is cancelled and he’s moving out, we’ll still be a couple but I certainly can’t cope with the drinking in the house it’s not good for me or the kids
I’m so sorry this is all happening - and I am so proud of you for keeping your boundaries strong for you and your kids. You are a wonderful woman, Michelle - and you absolutely deserve respect, love, and happiness.
That’s a lot of change. I definitely support you in taking care of yourself, your kids and your sobriety. Lean in here if you need to.