Here’s an interesting article that kinda supports the sentiment and also gives a little background to the word insanity which is (technically) used more so as a legal term than anything.
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The M’Naghten Rule… Ugh reminds me of law school
It’s still something I imagine that needs to be managed. I’m literally in awe of all the people on here with PTSD, some kind of mental disorder(though I don’t like saying disorder it seems rude!) And people that have been through abuse of some sort and manage to fight for Sobriety every day, it puts things in perspective for sure 
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I thought it was fitting for you lol… At least it’s over and what an accomplishment
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I do love me some verbal sparring from time to time lol
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Hmm let’s start with 3 years ago. That was my cocky “I can do this on my own” phase. So I would have laughed, smoked some crack, then hit the dope spot. I hadn’t accepted my powerlessness.
2 years ago I was thinking I’d rather kill myself then put in the work to get sober. I honestly thought it was too hard and that I couldn’t do it, so I might as well use until I die. Which at that rate would have killed me by now.
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I totally get what you mean by AA making you want to drink. I went to my one and only in person meeting a few years back and all I could think the entire time is ‘I’m not as bad as any of these people’.
I bought a 6 pack of beers that night. Since then my drinking has stayed roughly the same but it is hurting me more and more so I’ve quit again. Instead of going to AA meetings I’ve been listening to AA speakers on an app and attending online meetings. Basically just to try them out knowing that if I hate it all I have to do is shut the browser rather than sit in some shitty church hall for another hour.
I’m also worried that if I go to an in person meeting I’ll just get that same thought that I’m actually fine.
I feel like I’m finally getting why people bang the drum so much for AA. Yes there is the occasional speaker who has had such a wild life that I cant find a single common thing with stories like ‘so I had the gun pointed at the bank clerk’ but almost every speaker I’ve heard has said at least one thing that resonated with me.
Before this time getting sober I was actively anti AA.
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I also suffer with mental health problems and come from a family ravaged by them.
For some reason insanity never feels like too much of a slur. ‘Crazy’ winds me up no end. Insanity sounds like a legal term or a term with a more defined meaning that relates to a temporary state of mind for an otherwise mentally healthy person. Oddly enough ‘insane’ winds me up as much as crazy does because it feels like it is negatively referencing and belittling mental health issues.
I guess this is all to say that words are fun and confusing for me 
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I think the important point here is that the original post was not meant in a harmful manner though a couple of people seem to have taken it that way. As I said earlier it was actually Einstein who coined this phrase and it’s been used regarding addiction for many years.
Regarding your drinking and AA I would have thought if you looked for similarities rather than differences you would find the majority of people have a lot in common with you. If you have come to the conclusion that your driving was bad enough to seek out this place then it’s more than likely problematic drinking and it’s not aa making your want to drink, the addict part of your brain is using it to justify more drinking which would actually suggest that you belong in that crappy church more than your think.
None of this is intended as criticism or to be argumentative btw🙂
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That’s exactly what I said in my post tho…
Ah right sorry 
I havn’t had much sleep or my morning coffee yet
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Good point- it’s time for me to make a big pot of coffee!
God brought me to AA and AA keeps me close to God. I checked my ego at the door, asked for help and followed suggestions. Still do the same thing today.
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I am similar. Today I look at it as “Thank God I stopped now before it was too bad”.
The thing with alcohol is that we are all living with a magic thing called “yet”. I haven’t gotten a dui…yet. I haven’t lost a job due to alcohol…yet. I haven’t lost my loved ones due to my drinking…yet. I haven’t had any health problems…yet. The stories I hear at AA remind me what my future will be if I continue to drink.
Proud to be a high bottom drunk.
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There ain’t no future on drinking kid.
- Derek English, 2019
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Ha, when I read this I thought of the dog with the stick that’s bigger than the doorway.
You’ve all seen it, keeps bashing the stick trying to get through the door.
That dog doesn’t realise the insanity of what he is doing. He just sees the door and he wants to go in.
Most will end up giving up and dropping the stick.
I’ve seen one, a big black lab, take a step back and twisted his head to get the stick through.
He changed his approach.
He realised that what he was doing was not working, but he was stubborn enough to want to get that stick inside.
We’ve all probably been there. Thinking that just by stopping drinking we’ll crack the problem. It works for a couple of days and then the little voice says," hey let’s celebrate this!". A few days later we try again. We have a bad day at work " fuck it, I’m gonna get drunk"
This can go on for a while, for me 2 years.
Then I found this app and started to read statements like
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results!
Be open minded!
It’s a life Changing experience!
One day at a time!
Drinking is just a symptom of the problem!
Be prepared to try anything!
Saying no to yourself is the hardest thing!
Put nothing in front of your sobriety!
That last one was the one that got me, nothing? What about friends, what about Christmas, New Year? Birthdays? What about when I’m sad and just want to forget?
We are not all the same, for me this app was my saving grace. I read so much from people who had been there. Guys who are now on 400, 500, 600 plus days. So what they were saying back then was where I wanted to be. 100, days seemed like a dream.
So I got my head down and cracked on. Nothing got in my way, I changed my approach.
Because all I was doing on my own was just continuously banging the stick on the edge of the door!
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Thanks mate,
This is a great analogy sir!!
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