Sober fights are the best fights. I’ve found my voice much more over the last couple years, and I find I am a better listener and communicator. I know what I want and I ask for it; I also am better at emotional and relational awareness - so I’m better at listening to her needs.
I’m glad your husband is finding his voice with you, and you with him. I’m sure you’ll find your relationship will get stronger and stronger as time passes 
It’s been one of those days. My shoulder is sore (expected, only 3 weeks post op) and I’ve taken myself off the pills they gave me. I just don’t want to take them it feels like a slippery slope. I had a decent day at work and was gonna go for a jog but my shoulder and the desert heat stopped me but I got a little cycle in. I was feeling good earlier but just kinda meh now. Frustrated with these low intensity workouts. It’s my outlet and I can’t get the endorphins I like without pushing myself and I just have to be to careful right now. Sigh, tomorrow will be better
Tomorrow will be better.
What about a machine or something? A cycle or an elliptical. Could you get a vigorous workout with something like that? (Or is this shoulder thing just temporary and will pass after a few months?)
Shoulder thing will pass. A few more months till I start physical therapy. It’s just frustrating for now. I rode my cycle today but it’s a low speed since I can’t put weight on my left arm.
It’s a bummer while it lasts. I can see how much a good run means to you. Hopefully you’ll be back at it before long.
Today was a good day. Worked, did some housework, went for a jog (which was glorious) and about to make some dinner
Awesome! Sounds like a good one. It’s nice when we have those days that just flow
Pretty good day today. Work was work but I’m off this weekend and I haven’t been off a whole weekend in a while minus surgery but in my mind that doesn’t count cause I wasn’t able to do anything. Was able to get another jog in today and it was so good. I’m finding I’m able to hold my pace for a while now just having some trouble speeding up my pace. I suppose that will just come with some more time. I made it through day 100 and it feels good. 
Awesome! I’m happy that you are feeling more comfortable jogging now. And wow! 100 days! That’s wonderful Jenn I’m proud of you sister 
Where is all this beautiful snow?
New Mexico. We moved here from Texas last year
I went for a jog yesterday. A bit over 4 miles and was able to hold my pace of 12 minutes for pretty much the entire time. I was thinking. When I started working out 5ish yrs ago I was still smoking cigs and I had a 17 minute mile if I pushed myself hard. Now I’ve been a non smoker for 2 yrs and 4 months and if I push myself I can get down to 11 minute mile.
I guess all this to say it’s nice to see progress on something I’ve been working on for so long.
And on the cig front I don’t even want them anymore. I’ll have a craving ever once in a while but then it passes. Quitting cigs was the best decision ever. Granted not ever smoking would have been better but it is what it is.
Went for a jog today and did some cooking. Pressure cooked some chicken and turned it into chicken noodle soup, chicken avocado salad, and chicken spaghetti. The hubs had an appt with the doctor for his mental health and they are changing his medicine since he is having some rough side effects from the first one. I can already see the frustration building in him. I just hope he doesn’t stop because it is taking a very long time for the therapy/ counseling center to get him in. He had his first appt and I think the next is next week but it’s been a month since the last one.
I’ve decided to train and run a half marathon. I don’t know when because I want to find an in person race. Without weight lifting I feel a little adrift in my fitness area so I think that setting this goal will help my mental side so much.
Good for you! I did a half marathon… god… 11 years ago now 
and just like so many things in my life it was - a little impulsive. I dragged a couple people into it with me as a challenge.
At first it seemed intimidating but I approached it systematically: a little bit more every week. A half marathon is a little over 21 kilometres, 21,000 metres, so you break it down over 6 months - about 24 weeks - and none of those numbers line up evenly (just like life) so… hmmm… start w 3 km and add 800 m every week:
3 km
3.8 km
4.6 km
5.4
6.2
7
7.8
8.6
9.4
10.2
11
11.8
12.6
13.4
14.2
15
15.8
16.6
17.4
18.2
19
19.8
20.6
21.09 (which is your half marathon)
and you’ll get there
Have some faith - I’m sure you’ll find an event that can work. Sometime, somehow
I feel so much anxiety and unrest mentally today. I’m working on my insecurity about my husband leaving/cheating on me. I’m 100% sure this stems from my dad cheating and then leaving my mom after 23 years of marriage. My hubs hasn’t done anything unless you count looking at others pictures which I don’t appreciate but also feel like it’s human nature to look. I can’t stay I haven’t ever had a thought of yea, he’s hot. This insecurity has plagued me for a long time. It has been a damper on our marriage for so long and I just don’t really know how to work through it. And while I trust my husband and I also don’t
Ooooh man that nest of wasps - trust trust trust. It’s so emotionally intense!
I sympathize. Our marriages are where we are most exposed. The nature of intimacy is that we need it, but it’s a gradual, strength-building process, as we grow things & work on things together.
One of the things I’m learning in recovery is how valuable intimacy work is, for the comfort of connection with my partner. I don’t mean intimacy in the sexual sense - though that tends to benefit from this work - what I mean is intimacy in the sense of, “into-me-see”: building bridges between us and our partner, seeing in, and opening ourself to be seen.
I started getting “couples cards” for conversations & we’ve enjoyed them. They make for great talks after dinner (over ice cream 
) - this is one of the decks I got:
Have you explored ways to build intimacy, over the last few months?
I wouldn’t say we explored in the way of cards, which is a good idea for conversation starters.
But we have gotten better with communication. Actually listening to each other. We both are working on not cutting each other off. We have grown into having a discussion instead of a fight. He knows that I’m working through this and being hella supportive. I would trust my hubs with my life but it’s like I’m holding part of my trust back for when in 20 years he up and leaves. Ugh that sounds terrible but that’s how my mind turns
The other thing to keep in mind is that he made a commitment to you that is as significant and serious as yours is to him.
I think - and I’m not saying this is necessarily what you’re doing here; I’m not accusing or anything like that! This is not about “blame” - but I think that there’s a tendency in our thinking (among men and women), in our society, to think that men are “on the hunt”. It’s a hyper-masculine construct that shows up all the time in our TV shows and movies; it’s the same idea that keeps us thinking “men will stray”.
Men have as much responsibility to work on healthy marriages as women do. And though men may show their emotional engagement differently than women, I can tell you, as a man, that I value my intimacy work with my wife very much and I wouldn’t dream of leaving her. We’ve been through times I was truly exasperated but I’ve stubbornly said, We need to work on this; we got help and we worked on it - and I am stronger for it.
He benefits significantly from your marriage. You may not see that now, but I promise you it’s true. Have faith in that - and have faith in yourself.
Here’s another couples set that I got - this one is my fave so far for opening up new pages in understanding my wife:
Totally ordering the cards and tried the general idea for dinner yesterday and we had a nice chat that went down memory lane back to when we were kids and didn’t know each other. Pretty awesome idea.
Internal issue. I don’t think it’s an issue of trust. I think it’s an issue of not wanting to feel abandoned. So that’s still a work in progress.
Physical: I feel a lot better. Had a stomach bug for almost 4 days but today I have a run planned and man am I excited