Great! Glad to hear it. Over time we get better at surfing the waves of emotion in life 
2 Likes
It’s a long story but the end is what has been on my mind the past few days.
We have 3 dogs. Fox and Haley in my profile picture and Shady who I’ve posted before. About 4-5 years ago Shady and Fox got into a fight. We tried to put them back together but they fight immediately. So for the past 4 years they have been completely separated. Shady has a room to himself and fox stays in our bedroom. Since the move Shady has had growing separation anxiety and is getting more aggressive in general. The past few months we have been switching out and one of us have been sleeping on the couch because if we don’t he whines all night. He has started to whine when Scott isn’t home and it is driving me insane. I don’t understand why he is whining when this has been routine for years. He is out and about for a few hours then fox is and switch. We have decided to move him outside during the night and he slept out last night and everything was fine. We were able to finally both sleep in our bed. The aggression is what I’m having a hard time with. Scott said last night he snapped at him and he has snapped at me plenty but never Scott. He is a very moody dog and it just seems to be getting worse. We are talking about getting rid of him but I know if we take him to a shelter they will put him down. I know there are rehabs out there but he is 9 so I don’t even know if he would qualify. We try to give out dogs the best life possible but I feel like at this point Shady is hindering our life.
2 Likes
I’m sorry to hear that. Dogs are so unique. And they’re obviously important to you guys It’s so hard when they aren’t able to manage.
I’m sorry for you guys Jenn. I hope you’re able to take care of it in a way that honours your memories of him.
2 Likes
That’s beautiful! 
1 Like
Random thought. Yesterday after my run with a good time. The hubs was hyping me up saying how I could run an 8 minute mile! This idea is beyond ridiculous to me because I smoked for so long (from 13yr-33yr) and I just now am in the 10 minute mile goal area
anyways the thought: I wish he could hype himself and feel that way about himself. He is the best dang hype man ever except to himself.
4 Likes
Tell him! Show him how much you believe in him. Talk about his goals and then hype him up. He’ll be glad you did
I always do but he beats himself up. He finally got into a mental health medicine doctor and he is being consistent with therapy so I’m hoping it will help because it seems like he replaces my buildup with negativity.
2 Likes
Hmmm yes it can be hard when people do that. Has he tried CBT? I’ve done CBT for several years and I’m always learning valuable cognitive tools to help me navigate my emotions and thoughts in constructive ways (trying to avoid the pit of discouragement).
1 Like
I don’t think so. I haven’t heard of that.
1 Like
CBT - Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy - it’s an approach that focused on how we respond to events in our lives: thoughts (cognition), emotion, and behaviour (action).
This worksheet gives a nice overview of the idea:
We can interrupt negative self-talk & other unhelpful thinking patterns, and replace them with more constructive responses. Often our “cognitive distortions” are habits we developed earlier in life, and these thinking and feeling habits can keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns. Take a look at this - do any of these patterns look familiar? (They probably do - we all have these at one time or another. The question is how we handle them.)
http://icctc.org/August2013/PMM%20Handouts/Unhelpful_Thinking_Styles.pdf
There are ways we can respond to these unhelpful thoughts, in constructive ways. We can learn this through practice. There’s a good selection of problem solving strategies at the bottom of this page - scroll down to the “Problen Solving” section:
Never give up Jenn. Life is a process and each day is a step forward. Sometimes it’s hard for us to see. But there is something to learn, every day.
2 Likes
Helpful as always! Thank you
1 Like
Having to remind myself my sobriety is for myself today.
2 Likes
Those are the days your constructive self-help is the life preserver that keeps you afloat.
Do you want to share what happened? No biggie if no. But if it will help, I’m listening.
It’s just hard when the hubs has a slip. We don’t have the same doc but it makes me want to drink. We haven’t talked yet. In fact I am adamantly not talking to him because I’m so mad and I don’t know how to speak it in a kind and constructive way.
2 Likes
Oh man. Good time to reach out for some sober support. We all need connections that we can reach out to when we’re not seeing eye to eye with our spouse (100% speaking on my own experience here!).
That’s a shitty experience. I’m sorry you went through that. You must be mad. It was inconsiderate of him to do that.
What do you want him to know?
It’s bullshit. My feelings are hurt. I think it’s counterproductive to everything and I want to punch him in the face
2 Likes
Not really I’d never hurt him but I’m mad
3 Likes
Got it. Yep - and you have every right to be.
It’s ok to be mad. Anger happens when a line has been crossed. To feel anything other than anger would make me wonder a bit about your humanity.
You have a right to make that clear to him. After you have taken the time you need, you have a right - and it will help you - to sit down and make clear what needs to change.
This is such a disappointing thing to go through. I’m so sorry it happened. Especially when you were hoping for that to not happen again. It’s so disappointing 
1 Like