Snacking and napping - hmmm - you may be descended from Roman royalty. Empress Jennifer the First? 
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Had pt today and it was good. It went well. It’s so frustrating when you try and do things your own way and the world is like hey slow down and it will be better. My dad is stable and in good care. I have a long run planned for Friday. Not much else is happening in my world. Hope everyone else is well
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Hey! Slow down Jenn! You push yourself too much! Who are you racing against?
- sincerely, The World
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I feel like I’m always rushing and I’m not sure why. I work from home and my life isn’t really that hectic but I like to plan everything and be places at a certain time. My most recent days off I’ve been planning my days but trying to remind myself I don’t have a time table. It’s surprisingly difficult.
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I know the feeling. I’m always feeling like I should be somewhere else - not exactly the same as you describe but the general feeling of always having to account for myself and never quite feeling like I made it; it’s like running in a hamster wheel. It’s irritating to always feel like you’re looking over your own shoulder.
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The last place we were at was dad was discharged from the hospital in what is called a life vest that will detect irregular rhythm and send electric shocks if needed. He is to make an appointment with the heart specialist about the list and transplant. He says he will call Monday and I hope he does because he is very much a just move on person because he is at home and not in the hospital that was why I wanted him transferred straight to Dallas.
I had a long run planned Friday and I made it 8.69miles. My goal was 9-10 but I woke up and my body was not feeling great so I’m happy with how far I went. I’m off tomorrow so will probably do a run just not sure how far.
Things with the hubs are in a good place and that’s nice. There are small differences I’m noticing and it’s meaning the world to me. He reached for my hand walking into the store and I always have to grab his so this small gesture made my heart flutter. Anyways things are good here. Just thought I’d do an update since it’s been a few days.
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Awww Jenn I’m happy for you. It sounds like a refreshing breath of intimacy 
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I haven’t been on much in the past week. I’ve scrolled and commented but haven’t felt like writing anything. I still don’t but here’s an update lol dad is in the same boat. He said the Dallas doctor just told him they would see him back in a month after they looked at his files. It makes it seem like it isn’t as urgent as he let on. He said he is feeling well yesterday so that’s good. I’m glad he is stable and am impatiently waiting to find out more info. I’m a little baffled at the slowness of the doctors
My arm is moving along. I can now raise my arm up AND wash and put up my hair like a normal human (miracle!!) I’ve been cleared for light weight (5lbs) and if anything feels off to stop and do without weight. Excited to finally be at a point of seeing and feeling improvements. My running is getting better and better. I’m at about 2 miles almost 3 before I have to take a walk break. It’s mostly mental at this point I think.
The hubs is good. It seems they have found a good combo of meds. He hasn’t had any deep lows recently and I’m so happy for him. He seems content. He is about to have some days off and I do also so that will be nice. We are butting heads about his days off though and I’m not sure what the solution is. On his days off he wants to play his video game or watch videos on his phone and I totally get that because he works hard and doesn’t really get breaks. Yesterday he was off. He played his game pretty much all day until I sorta threw a fit because he wouldn’t give me attention. So he stops playing his game and lays by me and starts watching videos on his phone 
I wanted attention. Ugh!
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It’s interesting - these little waves of in and out, off and on. These waves of life: sometimes it’s on, like your arm getting better; sometimes it’s off, like your hubs being in his “lost in games and videos” headspace.
It’s a bit like being on a boat on the ocean. The waves come and go.
I am really happy with the perspective you’re keeping on this. It’s so powerful. You recognize your needs - like for attention, which is a human need, especially from our partner - and you recognize that you guys are working on it, and you won’t let yourself sink into unimportance. But at the same time you celebrate victories, like your arm.
Go Jenn! 
Rooting for you
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My wife and I got a deck of these cards earlier this year and it’s been fun for those times when we’re just lying on the couch:
There are a bunch of other similar products online (we’ve gotten several decks; some are better, some are just OK; the link above is one of my faves).
Sometimes it baffles me when my wife is like, “I want you to spend time with me!” My thought is, ‘Doing what?’ I wonder if this is a man thing: we might be very object-oriented, very process-oriented. It’s the same thing that makes me interested in doing a project like the dishwasher set-up. However “spending time together” seems nebulous to me and I don’t know what it is or what the instructions are.
What I like about these cards is it’s something I can grasp: let’s do these cards for a bit! It’s easy to wrap my mind around it.
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I guess that makes sense because that’s his reaction also when I say I want you to spend time with me. I think I looked into some cards like this but for some reason didn’t get them. I’ll take another look
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The cards are fun too. It’s kind of a deep dive and you will learn new things about each other. I enjoy them a lot
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Got some really great news! I don’t remember if I told y’all but there were issues with the billing of my surgery. The hospital was under an owner transition which made them out of network so it left 29k that insurance wouldn’t pay for and I didn’t feel like I should be responsible because they were billed in network 4 days prior to my procedure. No one told me it change to out of network. Anyways! The hospital is eating the money. I owe 1300! I was saving for a trip so that gets put off but at least this billing for my surgery is over and off my brain waves.
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Whoa! Wow that is great news - happy for you Jenn! 
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I’m kinda freaking out here. We are having some flash flooding and 1) our car was in the street and it was like a river. (I got the car in the driveway) 2) a piece came off the car. Not sure where it goes but it looks like it clips on so I think we will be able to pop it back in place once we figure out where it goes. 3) I found a huge hole. Looks like some dirt caved in but it’s by the bottom of the house and I think I see foundation. The hole in my opinion is way big and not in a good spot. I covered it best I can but another storm is hitting now and it’s raining all over again. I can’t control it but I feel on the verge of a panic attack.
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I know saying stay calm is easier said than done but secure whatever you can to make sure nothing else messes up and it’s probably not a good idea to be outside if another storm is coming. Stay safe and hope y’all are good at the end of this.
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That is scary! 
Practice safety - follow the During a Flood tips from the National Weather Service:
https://www.weather.gov/safety/flood-during
The car is worrisome and the foundation too, but what matters first and most is your physical safety. Make sure you are safe and following all flood advisories. The property you can work on later.
Take care Jenn and stay safe. This is one of those things in life you can’t control; try to stay focused on being safe, and keeping calm (as much as you can).
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I was mostly just worried about getting the car out of the river even though I know it’s not the important thing here. I feel a little better knowing it’s on higher ground
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I’m safe in the house with the dogs. I’m just worried
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