The gas station spending does drive me insane because it’s a literal waste of money minus the actual gas. We have already talked about it and honestly I get tired of nagging. I’m glad (not glad) that you can relate. It does make me feel less alone.
I’m totally getting some caraway seeds today. I hope they eat them. I don’t think they would drink tea but I’ll try them in their food. Thank you for the tip.
yeah, wasting money then complaining of being broke. so annoying. another favourite of mine is having nice long hair and beard everyone admires then complaining of having to take care of them, even brushing… ummmm.
re dogs: like with everything: if they won’t eat them, put them in a food processor and pulverise, then mix with some yoghurt or whatever. let me know if it worked. 
Jenn…read your posts last evening. I hate what you are going through. So frustrating I can tell. I am curious how long you have been with hubs and/or married? You have probably shared…but is this the worse episode (for lack of a better word) you have experienced as a couple? I only ask with the hope that you weathered it before and will come through it again. Wish I had advice. Married and divorced twice so…none there. Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. I love what you are doing to improve your own life! Taking care of you!! (Hugs)
I’ll let you know! I don’t have a food processor 
maybe I should get one 
I’ve been thinking of putting some focus on cooking. I’m not great at it because I don’t like to follow the recipe 
(I’m always like maybe a bit more of this will help)
I’m reading an old thread of yours btw so you’ll probably see a bunch of hearts from me
We have been through a lot. We have been together a bit over 10 years and married going on 8 (anniversary in may) He has been to jail, on probation, in a halfway house, I’ve had surgeries, been an alcoholic. We both have done drugs. I’m not saying this is the worst it’s ever been but it’s getting rough. I’m really starting to wonder if it’s always been this way and I never noticed because I was too worried about drinking. This past year I have been on here I’ve done the most work I’ve ever done on myself (and it hasn’t even been that much yet) while quitting drinking and I’m starting to see things differently.
Doing my check in. A month and 2 weeks today. I was off from work and really didn’t do much. I went grocery shopping, got a pedicure, and cleaned my jeep. It was a decent day once I got out of my head this morning. I almost spent the whole day in bed. I’m glad I didn’t.
Jenn…that is quite a history. Personally I have all I can manage to keep myself sober. My second husband had drinking/drug issues. Did NOT support my sobriety. Hindered it. I had to move on. My current SO (3+ years) is a non-drinker. I admire you and your strength in moving forward for yourself. Understandable you see things differently now. You had many months under your belt and are doing it again. I think you will get to a point where you will know what to do. I can only hope hubs cares enough about himself and you as a couple to join you in sobriety. I’m hoping that is the outcome!
That, my friend, is a very productive day! I love how you sprinkled in a well deserved pedicure. Well done!
It felt extra productive at the grocery store because I actually went IN and didn’t just do online pickup
I need to try a pedicure. I’ve never gotten any fancy self care stuff done, other than massages. I would treat my wife to a pedicure but she’s never had one either - I don’t think she would object to the idea but she just doesn’t think of getting them.
Her birthday is coming up 
Sounds like the perfect gift!
Not a great day today. The hubs was in a very negative/angry mood this morning. I could just feel like radiating off him if that makes sense. He has decided to go to Texas for his week he is off. Leaves Thursday. Hopefully it won’t be like his Colorado trip. Work was work but I said some things to my boss that I had to apologize for. We are short staffed and it’s just mentally exhausted and as I’ve said before I don’t feel like she pulls her weight and I told her that and more. 
Got off work and called the head pharmacist. He’s really good at putting things into a different perspective for me. More logical, less feelings. He basically told me I need to quit working so much and take me time because the work will always be there. My shoulder is bothering me. It’s a bit swollen and painful when I move my arm.
You drive yourself hard, Jen. I think you know that. Find a way to be kind and easy in your mind.
Just do your best to do your part and what you can handle in a day, i know it can be frustrating being understaffed, my wife tells me about it often how overwhelming it can be having so much to do with so little on staff. Alot like in recovery i just tell her take it easy and dont let other people push your buttons, as for the hubs it can be tough to not let the negativity wear off on the other spouse when one is mad for some reason. I always think of how in the bible is says that it came to pass, didnt come to stay. When im going through trying times i realize that it most always will be temporary. Alot of people are dealing with burn out and we just need to learn how to not drive ourself into a mental breakdown life does get exhausting and stressfull alot of times.
That reminds me of something I read a few months back - I don’t remember the exact words but it was: what is it about our lives and our selves that makes us think it’s only us that moves the world forward; that without us, it would fall apart?
Essentially: even if we may think we’re the only one who is (or can be) doing it - we’re wrong. We’re not the only people responsible for the work, and we never were. So: rest.
Rest Jenn. The world and the work will still be here.
I heard once…nobody ever said on their deathbed, “I wish I had put more hours in at the office”
Doing my check in. Thanks for the nice words last night guys. I was up and down with my shoulder pain but luckily it’s starting to feel a bit better. Was able to do some stretching. Work wasn’t terrible so that was nice. Doing some cooking and laundry right now. My friend C is coming out this weekend and we are gonna go explore Roswell. I’m looking forward to it. The hubs leaves for Texas tomorrow and we have barely spoke in days. Sometimes I feel like I live by myself.
Sorry about the hubs Jenn. It’s hard when he’s up in his head. It’s lonely for you and I bet you feel unseen and unappreciated. It’s like being invisible and that sucks.
Roswell sounds interesting. The UFO museum looks fun but alllllso there are some cool art galleries and other types of museums. Will you be checking some out? I remember your art shares from your North Carolina trip. Those were great!
Roswell also has lots of big green circles. When I zoom in on Google Maps I see biiiig green circles. What are those?
We are going to the zoo and she wants to go to the ufo museum. I want to go to the downtown area and look in shops and hoping see some art. Just all depends on how much time we spend at each place. I’m not sure about the green circles. Maybe those are parks? I know there is a few hiking areas I went to right after we moved here.
And yes to all the things about feeling lonely and unseen
Sounds like you guys have a fun time planned. Zoos are always fun - I used to love visiting them when I was a kid 
The museums will be nice too 