The life of me (Part 1)

Awesome job on 4 days. Keep up the work! :confetti_ball:

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sometimes you just gotta beast it out. My wrist is still Uber sore so I had to modify my push-ups to the wall but I did something. Work was kinda crap but I’m trying to get my brain out of that. I’ve always taken my job home with me. Sometimes I lay in bed and think of something I need to do but now that I work at home it’s weighing heavy to always be thinking about the pharmacy. I need to learn how to leave it in the office room. I’m about to go eat the house now :yum:

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Straight beast mode :muscle:

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I’m feeling pretty good this morning. I spoke with my mother in law and she is gonna see about getting the time off to go with me to Texas. Her mom is there and other family. I’m so excited because since my mom passed she has really loved me like a daughter. She even lets me complain about her son but she never takes sides lol and this will help keep me accountable. Also my friend called and he is moving into his moms house for a bit. I let her know that when I come down I can’t see him and she agreed and offered sober activities up. I have been making an effort this week to stay up a bit longer to hang with the hubs when he gets home from work. We have just been talking and idk it’s good. It’s like we are stepping into new ground but together. I can’t really explain it. I’m off today and I’m going to take full advantage. I have a lot of things planned for today but I won’t have to use my brain that much lol I might go for a run at some point. That always helps me clear my head. I hope everyone has a good day.

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Good for you Jenn! Yeah I have been trying to get home earlier to spend time with my wife. Having some couple time daily is important for relationship, for connection, for seeing the other & being seen by them (basic human needs I neglected in my addiction for years).

Keep it up :innocent:

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Way to take action and make a plan!

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I’m kinda in a meh mood. Have been all day. I’m sober, worked 12 hours and now cooking dinner. :expressionless: just trying to be grateful all day to not let my mood completely plummet.

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Today was one of those days. For sure.

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Wow 12 hours! Is that normal for your line of work?

No we do the normal 8 hr shift but we are very short staffed and have a lot going on with our nursing homes. Tomorrow will be better

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How has everyone else’s day been?

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Not bad. I’m grateful today for the forest near my house. The paths are so peaceful and my wife and I took a walk there after work today, before the sun set. It was really a great way to end the day :slightly_smiling_face:

I struggled today with feeling like I was ticking off all the to-do’s on my list. I’ve felt that way for months, years now. I think there’s something deeper here, about my sense of self-worth; often for me the “I should have done” / “there’s so much I missed / didn’t get to” arise from this belief that I need to be everything, or everywhere, and if I’m not, I’ve failed. Crazy right? But more and more I think that imbalanced belief is at the core of my experience and my feelings and thoughts. I’m working on unpacking it these days.

How about you? How was your day?

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It was a rough day. Just mentally tired. 1 more long day and I’ll have 2 days off. My neck is still bothering me. I’m thinking about trying to get a massage this weekend and maybe the chiropractor if that doesn’t work. Still in the meh area but I think it’s just really cause my brain is done lol

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I feel like I need to be doing something all the time and if I don’t then I feel like I have wasted the day. When I’m filling my day with tasks I feel productive. It’s a hard balance for me that’s for sure.

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Today is day 30 since my reset. I’ve been angry all day. Everything makes me mad. I have 2 days off from work and I’m gonna do some self care. Get my nails done and a run if it doesn’t snow.

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Hopefully they will find some new info soon. Hope you had a good soundtrack for that drive :joy: I’m afraid that’s what it will be like for my shoulder. When I get referred it will probably be about an hr drive to the specialist.

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Happy 30! You deserve cake. Or ice cream. Milestones always deserve cake or ice cream. :joy:
Angry is probably my least favorite feeling. It is so hard to pull yourself out of it, too.
I end up going and hiding by myself and doing some meditation and journaling. Sometimes if I’m extra irritable I do a hiit workout to some loud angry music. After, I have a nice glass of tea, or cocoa, turn on some happy tunes and try to self soothe a bit.
How was your run? Did it get a little bit of the angries out?

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Ive been listening to a ‘true crime’ podcast a lot recently, so I got in a few good stories. :smile:

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Oh I didn’t get to run today. I’m gonna run this weekend. It’s weird though. I don’t really understand why I’m mad. I just feel angry and so then I try to do the positive thankful thinking and then I get mad at myself for not being grateful :woman_facepalming:t2:. I’m hoping this weekend off from work will help improve my mood. I love crime junkies! You must give them a listen and I started listening to another called medical murders. That one is pretty interesting.

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I found out I was bipolar 1 after I quit drinking, so I totally understand unnecessary emotions. Then i get mad for having emotions I can’t control. Its a vicious cycle. Stupid feelings.
Medical murders is by the same parcast folks who do true crime. Thats on my list next. :joy:

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