My sponsor told me he does not approve of TS. Only a few people told me I should (consider to) stop using TS. Something I usually would not listen too if the majority tells me otherwise. But a few minutes ago I did a two-way prayer. There was a big mess going around in my head; fragments of games; songs; my own will, but the fact that it’s God’s will that I leave TS was clear. And I fucking hate that it’s God’s will.
In recovery, you’ve sometimes got to give up things that you love. Your DOC, bad friends, ego and other things that could affect your recovery. It’s hard. TS has saved me from my downfall many times. It has helped me tremendously. But the fact is, I have obsessed over it in the past. I’ve had an early stage addiction to TS. A stage that I think has been reverted, but who’s to say I won’t obsess again?
Maybe it wasn’t God’s will I heard, maybe I just thought it might be God’s will. Maybe God wants me to stay. And if in the future it turns out that that is what God wants, I will be back. But I would not raise your hopes, I find it unlikely that God wants me to risk my recovery for my recovery. I don’t think God would want me to expose myself to something I can and have obsessed about even if that something also helps me. Just like weed can calm your nerves and destroy your life.
I am incredibly grateful for this place and everything it has brought me. I’m grateful for all the people who have helped me and for the people I have been able to help. And I’m also incredibly grateful that @Robin has made this place where addicts can help each other and make lots of friendships.
I wish you all the best on your journeys, wherever they lead.
You have got to do you. And it sounds like u have thought carefully and made a hard decision. I really wish you all the best for your future. U are young, and if u understand and control ur addict tendencies, I am sure u will have a full and wonderful life.
Thanks Fleur. I want you to know that I’m incredibly proud of you. For some time I thought of you as a chronic relapser. But you have proved me wrong. 132 days is awesome and I am certain that you will have many more years of sobriety to come.
I will miss you my friend and I will never forget how you made me giggle and lifted my spirits with those risky jokes when I was so so down. You are a lovely human being and I wish you all the best stay safe and take care of yourself sweetheart!
I will miss you and your very well thought out and helpful posts. Of course, if you decide it is right for you to come at some time I will be glad to see you. Best wishes for your recovery Jan.
Thanks mate, keep on learning like you have been doing. I admire how far you have come the last few months and I hope your contact with your kids will be perfect. You deserve it
You have been a great inspiration and soooooo much fun to chat with. I will miss you and wish you all the best. Hope to you see you again someday. You’re always welcome back, no matter what happens.
You’ll be missed young man. You’ve been so welcoming and cheering, and so helpful to others.
when I was so so down. You are a lovely human being and I wish you all the best 
stay safe and take care of yourself sweetheart! 
