I had the shakes for years. So humiliating. My memory that will stick with me (as it relates to the shaking), is having to sign a fingerprint card for my securities registrations in front of a cop. She knew I was struggling so filled out the info, but I still had to sign. It was just one of many, but that instance sticks out.
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@Figgie, I’m so glad you joined this forum. Major props to you and your son. I’ll send good vibes his way and yours. It has to be a whole other sort of struggle for the young ones dealing with addiction.
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Going to the gym in the morning and answering my mom’s phonecalls in the evening. No more lies (“I’m busy, call you tomorrow”). Having long after dinner talks with my son, in stead of rushing to the kitchen to fill up my glass again.
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Thank you. Fortunately he’s very familiar with training for races so that’s how he’s dealing with this. He also left his high paying high stress job in a city he hated and moved to Seattle with his savings. Now he’s tutoring physics, living in an apartment thats the size of my closet, hiking and happy. Whats that AA line about change…
I really appreciate the good vibes. We are far from out of the woods. I hold my breath every day until I hear from him.
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I was just going to add phone calls to this list. It’s so nice I can talk to my children on the phone anytime now without wondering if I’m too drunk. Will they notice? Should I answer if my child calls me when I’m drunk. I’m crying here. 
. I can’t believe I’d ignore my own children because of being under the influence.
That’s a great reason right there to not pick up that first drink y’all.
still crying here. Must of hit a nerve 
What a jerk I was.
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Work from home.
Oh God, I’m glad i had some good sober time before Coronavirus. I used to be drunk by noon on the rare occasion that I worked from home but now we’ve been home for 6 months and not a sip. I’m getting stuff done instead of risking getting fired. I love that they all can count on me.
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I can relate to this. I’ve been working from home permanently since March, and I’d start drinking right after my first cup of coffee. I’ve done conference calls with clients when I shouldn’t have many times. I’m a week sober and no cigs tomorrow. I know my boss knows I relapsed, and my performance this year has been awful. All I can do now is focus on today. Work is important but not the most. Physically I’m a wreck as well. But I’ve been getting my steps in this week and eating right. I’m on TS at least two hours a day, and AA meetings almost every night. Enjoying being present for my daughter.
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Yes. Solid work! Good for you mate!
Wake up and function!!!
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at any point i can take care or ride my horse 
i can make any last minute plans instead of planning my plans around drinking. i can wake up at 6am on the weekends to get to the barn. i can really enjoy wonderful meals instead of chain smoking and drinking outside a friends house.
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Answer the phone.
I burned a lot of mental calories trying to not sound drunk over the phone. Experience since getting sober and hearing a few other people trying to hide it tells me I 100% failed.
Still, I tried. Nice being able to answer and just talk. It was tiring.
Edit: Whoops! @Dazercat and others covered it, lol. 
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It’s good to hear it from other people too. Thanks for sharing. I know I’m not alone with being drunk on the phone but when I was writing it I just felt so bad about it. And I started to cry. I guess that is part of the healing.
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For sure. Actually, avoiding answering the phone for close family because I was too drunk probably accounts for like half of my drifting away from them. Being too caught up with myself to call back the other half.
Something I’m surely ashamed of, and grateful to have put behind me.
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It was the phone conversations that I couldn’t remember having that worried me 
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Get up early and play with my kids not hungover. Also remember what I promised then the day beforr
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Funny how it’s such a little thing but has a huge and traumatizing impact.
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×100
And now my kids can’t trick me and say I promised when I didn’t because I remember!
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I can remember what happened last week 
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You don’t understand how being addicted to a substance takes away from every day life. What I gained back was sleep. I feel so much better now that I get good sleep. My moods are so much better and I remember what has happened day by day.
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