Be responsible. Face up to my inner demons. Speak freely.
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Smile. Be happy. Even if it’s still a work in progress. 
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Go for a walk around the block without breaking into a sweat.
And a few months later, go for a several mile backpacking trip barely getting winded.
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There are so many things… sleep, workout in the mornings, start IV’s at work ( I avoided them for a LONG time afraid the patient would see my shaky hands), sit and really talk with my kids.
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Lots of walks with the dog, enjoying morning coffee and catching up on news before work
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Going to family dinners! So many times I’ve had to decline the invites because I wasn’t sober.
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I miss your face Flo 
Hope you come back to Zoom soon 
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YYYYAAAAAYYYYY!!! 
K Tuesday!
Stand on one foot in the shower and wash the other foot without losing my balance!
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Welcome to TS.
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Oh Dazercat, you pulled a string here! I read your post yesterday night when I was already in bed and got so sad. I totally forgot about a night my son (14 or 15 at the time) called me and I didn’t answer. I was drinking in a bar and I even told people I’m not going to answer. I’m so ashamed and disgusted of myself! 
It even hurts writing this down. My son (now 19) is on top of my list, I want to make up for it so bad. It’s hard to forgive ourselves when it’s about hurting the people we love most, right…
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Getting out of my bed in the middle of the night if one of my kids need me.
In my drinking time that was not possible 
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I know it was killing me 
And as parents there’s nothing in the world we love more than our children. I guess It’s all part of our healing. We should make a little box or big box for all our shares that made us cry and pull it out if we ever think we can “just have one” 
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@Naomi I’m the same, I was so hurt and sad that I had a mental breakdown, my kids got the brunt of my actions when I drank, my actions and behaviour are my fault. It was out of character for me and I was allowing the negativity ruin our relationship. It took a while to get my head back into reality and look forward to mine and the kids future. Those who love you will understand and not judge, those who throw it back in your face you just have try and ignore them. Stop beating yourself up, we all take the wrong path, no parent is perfect. Your post show you are a loving caring mother, please be kind to yourself and don’t let this hinder your relationship 
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Thank you! My son is really my no. 1 reason to better myself. I’m so blessed we have a good relationship, despite my previous behaviour. I can’t wreck his belief in me one more time! But the painful and shameful moments stay and I will have to work on forgiving myself, maybe that might be the hardest part of sobriety.
I hope for all of us here that those bad memories will fade in time and the nice memories will take over 
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I’ll keep this short and simple, saying no.
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I have a lot of pain from my lacking relationship with my son and still haven’t been able to forgive myself. This did help the other day though. . .
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Had over 200 days in June. Learnt a lot but still trying to forgive myself. Definitely getting to know myself sober. . .it’s beautiful seeing myself through clear eyes. Just need to work through now and not drink my feelings away.
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