Right then, so I turned 50 2 weeks ago. My dad died 13 years ago on the 22nd Oct, back then I was a very successful 30 something woman who for a poor kid did amazingly well through hard work… and then I crashed. He went in with a collapsed lung and contracted the hospital virus CDIF and died, he was my sole parent as my mom left when I was 7. That is my sad storey and I realise I am not the only person on the planet that something bad has happened to. I have an amazing (will admit) younger husband and today, for the first time in my life I am telling strangers that I have a serious problem with alcohol… binge drinking, as in I just can’t turn off the will to drink if I have one I need 20, but when I get there I need to drink in smaller amounts to sort out that binge state. I was 7 days sober when my husband insisted on going out with 2 other couples for my birthday…I did the sensible thing and said it was a bad idea and didn’t want to go, but I went and the girls were ordering bottles and I have ended up at square one again, trying to feel okay. I have basically ruined my life, my husbands, probably spoken my mind too often but the only person I really hurt is me. I don’t want to drink, don’t even like the taste. I am on day one again, I liked day 7. So you guys know all this all anyway but hoping that by talking and not feeling like a constant failure that I can do this x
Welcome to the group! Youve done a big thing coming here and a big thing admittin you have a problem, thats a start this is a judge free zone , weve all been where you are, just take it easy on yourself and try your best🙂
Thank you, work in progress but glad I found this place 
Progress is still progress, ive been on here a while and theres alot of good folk here, with lots of advice
Hi @Messyme1070, welcome to this fantastic place! My DOC was booze also. I’m 44 married with two grown up sons. I couldn’t just have one, once I started I drank until I was ready for bed, usually 2 bottles of wine-ish a night. There is a very wise man on here that says, “say no to the first drink and then there will be no 4th, 7th or 8th”. I realised that it was doing me no good what so ever. I had 16 years of lots of loved ones and people in my life dying, starting with my Dad, then my mum and so on and so on. 3 years ago my little sister killed herself leaving behind two kids, she was a single parent. I now realise that I drank more and more and more to ‘deal’ with the grief of losing everyone. I was depressed, not sleeping and gaining weight like no tomorrow. On the 27th Jan 2018 I said enough is enough! I stopped. It was hard but I did it for 111days! Then the addiction voice in my head (I call mine the wine bitch 
) said,” you don’t have a problem, you’ve done over 100 days, just moderately drink you’ll be fine”. 
I lost another 4-5 months stuck eventually worse than before!!! 443 days ago, I said ENOUGH! I have admitted that I am powerless over alcohol and that I’m not going to drink today. In the beginning it is hard but as @Jamesyb says, be kind to yourself. Don’t drink today! Then tomorrow repeat that. One day at a time. This place is full of information and endless support. Use us, we’re here for you! It’s great to have you here with us 
OMG I love wine Bitch as a saying, something as simple as that does not make me want to pick it up off the shelf now. Thank you xx
I am so sorry you lost so many loved ones, kind of feel daft now, but also happy that my hover over joining this site is probably the best thing I have done in years x
I honestly promise you that if you stick around here it will make a massive difference to your journey. It is going to take hard work but you are not alone. There are a couple of books you could read that will help and all. Allen Carr’s the easy way to stop drinking for women. And Annie Grace This naked mind. They are a must in the beginning, you could download on amazon easily enough. Welcome to the family
You have nothing to feel daft about, we all have our reasons. I’m just glad you have decided to try a sober way, with us
Welcome. I know it’s a big step to show up here, but you are welcome and accepted here. This is a good place to make connections with people who know what you’re going through and who want to reach out a hand to help you get where you want to go. You can do this. Hang in there.
Welcome Jane. Is this the first time you’re seeking support? It’s really tough to quit drinking all on your own. Addiction is so powerful. None of us wanted to be addicts. I turned 60 back in January and I just got fed up with being drunk and hungover all the time. My wife still drinks. I’ve gotten use to it. Many stories on here about that. Anyway… coming here and slowly but surely getting to know and helping and getting support on here has been the only way I could be sober now. That and of course turning it over to God. Because I am totally powerless over alcohol.
Stick around. Glad you found us. There’s always someone around to help. And a lot of good other threads to take your mind off the drink.
Oh and if you think you’re a failure then you’re in with a good group. we’ve all been failures trying to quit drinking or DOC. Guarantee it.
Your not a failure. You are worthy of the blessings sobriety has to offer.
I would have to honestly tell you that I am not religious, but can still totally love all you said if that’s okay, because I actually found it heartfelt and very helpful and welcoming and thank you. I haven’t really listened to anything other than my negative thoughts for soooo long now that I almost feel I have a forcefield to good advice, I don’t want it. I need people like you in my life so thank you
Aw that’s sweet.
Religion sucks!!
God is God.
Just keep an open mind to all possibilities of recovery.
I will never say religion sucks… it’s like a cuddle from your favorite person or an giant cardigan… or some warm socks… regardless anyway, I do not care because what you said was kind enough for me
Hi @Messyme1070! Jane. Glad you are here.
It doesn’t matter where we all came from really. It’s where we are all going that matters.
Stick around here, read as much as you can and interact as well.
Some great people on here.
Welcome Jane! I understand the struggle, as most (if not all) of us here do. To me personally this forum is a great help on staying sober. People’s stories, the good advise and just being able to share helps so much!
Hi Jane. How you doing? How is day 2 coming along? I kind of want to apologize for what I said about religion. I was treating you yesterday like one of us regulars. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. Anyway. I just meant to say religion has nothing to do with finding God. In my 300 days today. Wooohooooo!!! I’ve seen a lot of people come and go. A lot of times I mention God to new comers and I get a lot of “I’m not religious” or “I had a bad experience with religion” etc… it seems like those people come and go and come back and go again. I think and I could be wrong. But a lot of us successful sober warriors here have turned it over to God or a higher power. I think a majority of us. I know some of us haven’t as well. And that’s fine. Whatever works. As I also said. Just keep an open mind to the vast possibilities that have help a lot of us here.
I got most of my sober knowledge from my 2 addict children. They are both good now and work their recovery and I believe it is a miracle from God. At one of the many dreadful family weeks I went to at rehab for my kids a speaker was talking about God. One thing stuck in my mind. I didn’t really believe then either. But he said. “Who can make a plant?” The only answer I got to who can make a plant or a tree is God. Anyway… sorry for the long story.
I hope you stick around. Looking forward to seeing you enjoy the benefits for a sober life.
First of all, welcome and congratulations on making a huge step forward in your well being! It takes guts to be vulnerable and put yourself out there, even on a purely anonymous forum, so well done. I’m glad you’re here. I don’t believe in god, but I do believe in the power of human connection. It can pull us out of our deepest depths, show us that we are not alone, and most importantly it can help us to see that we have all that we need to live the life we want, it’s already there inside of us! I have gotten so much helpful information, inspiration and direct and indirect support from this community and I know you will too if you stick with us. It has helped me to check in every day in the thread called Checking in daily to maintain focus. I also have done a lot of searching using the magnifying glass 
at the top when I am wondering about something or looking for ideas or info. Looking forward to seeing you around here!
Hello Jane,
You’ve got a lot of encouragement and tips already. So I just wanna give you a warm welcome