Thoughts from the trails

Hi everyone! Hope the full moon was enjoyable for you!
I need to bring somethings to the surface right now, so that I don’t forget this feeling. I have been planning this sef discovery journey for months. I just solo hiked and camped in two national parks and enjoyed it so much. However last night I got hammered and wasn’t able to make it to my next stop because I was so sick and hungover. On top of that I made some pretty reckless decisions last night to which I am so regretful of today. I don’t want to do this anymore. This trip was supposed to be transformative and intentional. But when alcohol comes into the picture for me I lose all sense of personal growth. I am no longer going to be the girl people party with in vacation then forget about. It’s not a good feeling to pick up the pieces the next day. I am realizing people (if the opposite sex especially) cannot take me seriously if I don’t take myself seriously enough to keep it together. Not a good feeling tonight. But it won’t be for nothing this time

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Maybe it does still have the potential to be transformative. I stopped drinking just over a year ago and that part about holding on to that feeling has really helped me. This is what happens when I drink - this is the outcome. I can still bring up how I felt that morning when I decided I’d had enough. It is what I think about if I get one of those oh just one won’t hurt, it’ll be fun type thoughts.

I see you’ve been on the forum a while so you may have come across this thread before, but I’m posting it here in case you haven’t. I found it really useful.

Keep checking in!

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