I am being a desperate undisciplined lazy unmotivated fuck with painful fingers from nailbiting yet again. There’s this constant loop of me getting my ass into a downward spiral for a couple days or even weeks, then being able to get out and rise for a few weeks or usually days and then get pulled back in again. I don’t want that no more. I want to rise, because I know I can. I want to be an independent soul. I don’t want to be the perfect me. I simply want to function properly. So this is an accountability thread and a thread in which I will log how I’m doing.
I’ve been hesitant about making this thread as I also have my diary thread, but my recovery is more important than someone’s opinion ( that sounds sooo selfish, but I don’t know how to phrase it better). I couldn’t have gotten where I am without putting myself on number 1.
Some tough love when I fuck up, even when I don’t know I’m fucking up would be appreciated. 
Your totally right about not worrying about creating another post, do what you have to do for yourself.
Do you think your nail biting is anxiety, habit or something else?
I know there is stuff you can put on your nails that tastes bad, I don’t think this would make you stop but may help you notice when you are doing it so you might be able to see if there is a pattern, just a thought…
Stress, boredom, exciting movies, basically always. I think maybe I should just put more hand sanitizer on my fingers since that stuff is disgusting lol
Hmm that stuff is nasty smelling 
Maybe you wear some cute gloves 
At the moment I spend my days going to school and then I just lay on the couch watching TV the rest of the time. I’m physically stiff and weak. I have no stamina and I’m scared if I continue this way I may become weak and stiff for the rest of my life. Also I just want to keep up with school so that I can go to university and join the army. That’s my definition of functioning properly. I am the one who expects me to function properly is me. I need to be hard on myself otherwise I’ll just go back to my old ways.
Do you get outside for any physical activity? Sounds to me like you may need a mixture of nature and walking or bicycling…all good for the body mind and soul.
Nah, I lay on the couch all day, but it’s time to use my mountainbike to mountainbike again
I am going to slowly build up. Countless earlier attempts have ended with me close to a burnout and disappointed
I find it hard to find something between lazy and crazy hard on myself. I tend to think to myself that Dwayne Johnson (or any other muscled person) didn’t get that far by not doing anything, so I have to work hard and then I become exhausted and disappointed and go back to being lazy. This time I’ll try a different approach. For starters the accountability is new. And I will try to not be hard on myself, but supportive
Not really. I have thought about becoming a counselor at the rehab I went to. But for now I’m aiming to join the army. That way I will probably help at natural disaster struck countries anyways
We do have 2 meet 
my nails have been like that for longgggggg broertje!
Zag net je post voorbij komen en als je tog in grunn naar school gaat heeft deze kok altijd wel E een bordje eten over
Day 1 of self improvement
Nearly overslept
Had my exercise at PE
Wasted €12,75 on food
Barely did any homework, but that was mainly because my autistic brother is over because he has surgery tomorrow which he finds very scary, and a wee bit laziness
Bit my nails writing this 
Smoked with my brother. Was disgusting 0/10, don’t recommend.
There’s improvement compared to the last few days and that’s what matters. I don’t need perfection. I need to improve.
Day 2 of self improvement
Didn’t oversleep
No physical exercise, not because I didn’t want to, but because lack of time.
Used €8,57 on food.
I prioritized and learned a lot for a test.
Once again bit my nails writing this.
Followed meeting.
There has been improvement compared to the last few days and that’s what matters
yay for accountability thread! i look forward to perusing through it.
Day 3 of self improvement
Didn’t oversleep
Unable to go for a run because of rain, but I could have done another work out
No money wasted
Biting my nails writing this again
I finished all my homework for tomorrow, but I could’ve done a lot more if it weren’t for my laziness. I did pay attention at school though
Day 4 of self improvement
No physical exercise due to lack of time
€8 for dinner as I didn’t have time to make dinner before having to leave for work
I am biting my nails less, but somehow each time I write one of these
Day 5 of self improvement
Went for a run
Wasted €2 on food, but made a healthy snack to fight this waste
Getting more aware of when I bite my nails
Did not do a lot of homework, I found going for a run was more important since I have an entire weekend to finish my homework
Was still a bit lazy
Scared that I’m too easy on myself, but I don’t know yet, I see improvement and that’s all that matters. I do notice that I keep forgetting writing these and do it a day later. Maybe I should post in the morning and update it through out the day
I’m already caught up with homework. My last update was from yesterday, but I forgot to write it. Thanks for the suggestion though
Day 6 of self improvement
Not any real physical exercise besides lifting a heavy bag a couple times.
€0 wasted
Nailbiting awereness growing. Should be on 0.37 days, but im not 100% certain as i often bite unconsciously
Finished the majority of my homework. Since I’ll have to isolate yet again, I’ll have plenty of work to do exercises that aren’t homework to make sure I’ll get great grades next test week
Further a lazy day. Spent the majority of time browsing TS and then meeting.
Day 7 of self improvement
Got out of bed at 11:18 AM.
I ran 8,68km/5,4mi with an average speed of 4’53’’/km or 7’51’’/mi
€0 wasted, but that’s because i don’t have any money I can spent left due to my ridicilous spending. Probably even have to borrow money from my mom for my train subscription a month from now, really depends on when I’m getting loan, since I will barely get any loan this month due to only having worked a total of 2 days. The fuck am I doing
My thumb is completely fucked up due to my extreme nailbiting.
No homework, but that’s because I feel like physical health and being social with my sister who’s isolated is more important.
I also followed some zoom meetings.
Seems like a bad post, but there’s much more improvement on some areas than there’s decrease on others.
two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward. and the money part has been that way since #day 4 of self improvement and not from today.