Tired of this feeling

@Red7 how you doing?

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I’m also very very tired of this feeling… tired of myself.
For the past 3 weeks I wake up, trying to remember if I’ve failed the day before. Most of the mornings I remember my failure of the day before and I get angry at myself, sometimes I really hate myself. And every day I promiss that I won’t buy anything anymore, and that gives me the strength to go to work and go through the day.
There are also mornings when I remember that I didn’t fail the day before. Those are days when I thank God for one hole day, but after work I’ve forgotten what a wonderful feeling it was to wake up sober.
When I saw this thread, I thought: this is the perfect time to read that I’m not the only one struggling with this aweful feeling right now… I’m going to follow your post, try to visit every day, because I think we can do this together when we motivate eachother and right now I really need other people to do this together with.
Thank you for sharing this! Stay strong, we can do this!

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Welcome here Sonya,
Nice profile picture :grin:
I’m Claudia, my addiction is alcohol too. Sober for a longer strech now.
The beginning is hard, I know. But the longer you stay sober, the easier it become. So fight that voice in your head that says you can have “just one”.
How?
That’s different for every person in here but there are similarities. This is what helped me:

Get rid of all the alcohol in my house
Tell my spouse about my sober decision
Avoid liquor store and the alcohol section in the supermarket
Fill my fridge with healthy foods and drinks
Buy sweets as well to use as replacement for when craving kick in
Getting myself a hobby to fill in the extra time
Avoid alcohol related events, friends, places the first 3 months of my recovery
Come here on this app every day to check in sober and reflect my day and talking to others

As a extra motivation I said to myself this:
If you aren’t sober after 1 year of trying to beat this addiction by yourself you have to go and find help. You have to go to see doctor ore visit AA.

This is what helped me. I’m sober for 1,5 year now. Read around on this app, there is so much information about your addiction and how to beat it to find here. Use it! Give it all!
If you have cravings: don’t pick up but come here instead. See you around :heart:

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Doing good so far!
My best friend and I went on a day trip yesterday to a State Park for hiking. Was a great day.
How are you doing?

Made it to day 5! The evenings are tough, but I make it through. I pase a lot. I’m sitting in a lonely selfpitty pit right now because I have zero sober friends. But it will pass. Glad to hear you’re doing good! Keep going!

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Hi Sonya, I’m glad to hear you’re doing ok so far. I need my redhead clan to be ok :smile:

Seriously though, good for you seeking recovery. You’re a good person who got lost in an addiction. So many of us have been there before. You’re still a good person, and you belong, and you matter, and you deserve a safe, sober life, where you can be your full self.

Stick around, keep reading and learning. There are so many wise souls here, and many have been down the same path you’ve been on. This thread is one of my faves to share with people in early sobriety because it’s got so many good resources, including recovery programs, and memoirs about recovery:
Resources for our recovery

Never, ever stop trying. Never, ever give up. It takes effort and persistence and a godammit-I will-not-give-in-or-give-up mentality, but I promise you it is worth it. Take care Sonya and never stop believing in yourself! :innocent:

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Yes the evenings are the hardest for sure, especially living alone. I’m moving to a new place in 17 days so I am packing to keep occupied.

This place is so amazing!!
Thank you for your words of encouragement and the resource suggestion.
Redhead clan, yes!!

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I know how you feeling , I feel so much the same way sometimes worse because I want to be sober so Bad , but I can’t past 72hrs I am with You !!:heart:

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Yes Girl!!!
This is the biggest struggle I have ever faced.
So glad I found this resource. With you! :heart:

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I am alone also In Ohio ! So I work , home, and drink :sob: But I am going To stop I need to I am tired Of drinking

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Same here; I have to make sure I eat. That’s almost always my Achilles heel.

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I just had to hit my reset button a few hours ago. I can’t seem to get past 24 hours. I am starting over today I’m glad to read that there are others starting over today too.
My pattern is also work, home, drink. And drinking in the evenings on the weekends s well so that I can sleep in and sleep off the hangover.
I hate waking up in the mornings during the week and going to work with a hangover.
the two days I managed not to drink this week it was so nice to wake up without a hangover. I loved that feeling but quickly forgot how great it felt once the craving took over me that eveningafter I got home from work. It seems that I just cannot go into a grocery store without buying more wine.

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I keep diet ginger ales in my fridge, it actually helps me not drink because it feels like beer going down the gullet, lol.
Go out and buy a bunch of na beverages that you can grab whenever you feel the urge. It’s a fight, not to be dramatic but a fight for YOUR LIFE! You are the center of this story and you get to write how it plays out. Remember how good it felt to wake up happy.
Back on the horse!:wink::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Thanks Donna. It’s almost the witching hour. And I’m tired, at work.

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Where are you, in the states? I have crazy thunder outside right now! You’re doing good; I know changing habits are HARD! But it’s doable. You’re stronger than you know. All of us here have gone through it to some degree.:blush::+1:

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Yes, I live in the states. I just got home from work and I have about an hour where I can go take a bike ride and then come back home. I think I’m going to go for a bike ride

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It is so easy just to go to the store and buy it.
Resetting is so hard, I always feel like a failure when I do that. :pensive:
The support I know works I do not have and that makes it harder each day.
Distractions only work for so long.
Just want to scream.

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Hope you had a nice bike ride!!

I did have a nice bike ride., without booze!
I road for about an hour and just kept repeating things in my head that I’ve read on this app. The one that I read a couple days ago said that "a craving is just a thought " and that made sense to me when I read that because I never knew what a craving was .

But as I was riding my bike I kept repeating to myself, a craving is just a thought , but it doesn’t seem like the whole story.

To me a craving is a feeling.
It may start as a thought but it turns into a feeling. And that feeling can either make me want to scream or wanting to cry. and the only way to fix that feeling is to have a drink.
I don’t want to have one. I have 10 hours sober right now! And I want to wake up without a hangover tomorrow

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