I hope the creeper hits me up, it will be the one and only time 
1 Like
I think it’s pretty simple if you don’t want to be hit on stick with your own gender. Stay away from the opposite sex. Makes with males woman with woman. Don’t give your number or name to the other gender unless you have a good safe report with them and the group. People meet in AA and NA and get married and are happy together, but as members it’s our responsibility to keep it safe and look after the vulnerable newcomers. 13 stepping is not a good idea at all but people are only human. Best to take the advice and stay single for first two years of sobriety for me anyway. For me it’s not been a problem. I’ve had woman ask for my number before and message me with no issue. I have one one occasion had a woman who had requested my number eventually say she wanted to end contact as she had a relationship addiction. I was a bit disappointed because I just considered her a AA friend but that was fine I let it go. The law still applies in here and in an aa meeting, just be sensible people and don’t expect life to be a wander through a feild of daisy’s there’s going to be creeps out there and we are going to have compulsions to do the wrong thing. Sobriety comes first principals not personalities let’s keep each other as a community safe. I get this issue is important but it’s also not good to unjustly alienate men in general. AA is not about egos but we all deserve respect and to feel safe. Much loves
3 Likes
I personally disagree with this, but I think the issue on the forum being discussed here is more around receiving unsolicited messages.
Definitely agree that as a community we should all keep each other safe and that it shouldn’t be about pointing the finger at all men. What it is about is the fact that this is not a dating site.
Feels like a good time to say again that people can and should report any behaviour that makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe, regardless of gender or sexuality, by sending a message to @moderators.
8 Likes
Would be a shame to see the private message system disappear due to a few bad eggs. Also claims without proof is not proof of a claim.
Also I don’t think the problem is receiving unsolicited messages, because if someone doesn’t want to receive messages they can make their profile private. I think the problem is unsolicited inappropriate abusive or sexual messages. Surely there should be some sort of code of conduct within this app and I’m sure there is. If anything that might be something useful to have pinned at the top of the forum. Also there is a block function. Personally I’ve never had to use it but it’s there for us. Aswell as yes the moderators such as yourself Siand are quite good at making this a safe fun atmosphere.
2 Likes
Oh of course, it’s not about stopping messages, more that if people receive one that they feel uncomfortable about that they can and should let us (moderators) know. We will only take action based on the information we have available and discuss any grey areas as a team to try and get the balance right. I think we generally do, glad you do too! 
And yes you’re right the issue is with inappropriate unsolicited messages. While I don’t think people should have to make their profile private for that reason, it doesn’t actually stop them being able to receive messages (you can open a new message and type @username in the to: box)
There certainly are rules, they are pinned on top of the web version of the forum (I think) but the app works differently.
They are here, for reference for anyone reading this who hasn’t seen them 
3 Likes
That’s a good set of *rules I use the app and no it’s not pinned at the top. We should all be sticking by this to keep each other safe. If it’s possible to have this pinned it could be helpful, I’m sure from time to time some of us need a bit of a refresher.
You can still message people directly even if their profile is set to private.
1 Like
Yeah Siand said. I didn’t realise this. Anywho, thanks Y’all just my 2 cents. Not that you asked for it 
2 Likes
Very big thank you. As lonely as i feel sometimes, and i hate that i’m single, i also know i need to work on myself before in able to feel any value in a relationship. Being hit on is a HUGE trigger for me and even when it’s done by a kind hearted person with nothing but good intentions for me, it sets me back mentally many steps and gives me flashbacks to what caused my situation to begin with (long story about my ex of 15yrs and my sons father). I’m nowhere near strong enough to deal with it right now, and i fight loneliness every day simply because i know having this strength in myself is more important. I want this place to be safe. I love it so far and a big big thank you to those that are fighting to keep it safe. I love having new friends and anybody can hit me up! In fact, pleaseeee do!!! But don’t step over that line right now. I’ll cherish you a lot more if you don’t, ya know…
I pray for everyone here! Keep up the good fight! Strength in numbers!
Much love!
6 Likes
I fully agree
It actually is pinned, but it gets unpinned automatically quite easily. I think it only takes one read or even scan through the thread for that to happen. To make it “stickier”, we’d likely have to make it stay at the top for everyone permanently, which is an inconvenience that’s not clear if it’s worthwhile.
I wouldn’t be surprised if new members also hear about it in an automated message when they sign up.
2 Likes
Since the bump got purged in the crash of 2021 I’m sending it back to the top.
8 Likes
I don’t know why I’m the only girl that never gets hit on. It’s obvious from my profile pic that I’m extremely hot.
24 Likes
Me neither! It’s weird.
Edit: I meant I don’t get any attention, whether wanted or unwanted, LOL
8 Likes
And I have no idea why I have gotten so many inappropriate PMs…I’m not hot. My guess is I seem too nice. Vulnerable. Fuckin bullshit.
7 Likes
Same here 
6 Likes
Don’t be sorry. Sentiment shared over here
3 Likes
I can start 
4 Likes
I was hoping the crash purged all my old DMs, no such luck 
1 Like