Boredom. In my 1203 days here, I have watched boredom be the excuse for relapse after relapse. As an active alcoholic, I filled my non work time with booze. The easiest chores pissed me off because it took away from drinking. Or, chores were done half assed because I was drinking.
One day I stopped drinking, and OMG I had all this time on my hands. To make matters worse, I changed people, places and things…so my life seemed turned upside down. I had never lived like this. For me, boredom seemed worse than the cravings and the “triggers”.
Sober meant relearning how to live, and in the beginning that seemed overwhelming. With nothing to do, idle hands were truly the devil’s tools. I recieved great advice from many folks here, and part of that advice was to keep busy. If I filled my day with things to do, I wasnt sitting around dwelling in my thoughts.
I set about writing a list. It was exhaustive. It included fun things, chores, wish lists. It was litterally pages.
On my days off I cooked 3 meals a day. All from scratch. I went to the grocery before breakfast, picked up what I needed for breakfast went home and cooked. I would do the same for the other 2 meals. Inefficient going to the store 3 times a day? Maybe, but I was so use to drinking all day when I wasnt working, I had to do something.
In between meals, I cleaned, repaired my house, walked, learned new skills. Just to keep myself busy.
I dedicated 2 hours a day (including after work as well) to research. I read books, magazines, anything that had to do with alcoholism.
Simply put, I had to refill the void in my life that alcohol was wasting.
As brought up years ago on here, “chores wont get you sober”. While, I do agree that just being busy wont get you sober…it did give me something else. It finally showed me what I could accomplish with 24 hours in a day. It gave me a sense of a accomplishment each and every day. A sense of pride I had never felt in my personal life. It started me down the road of re-learning how to live. It brought back a disciplined life I had once lived when I was in the service.
Most importantly, it kept me from drinking and gave my mind time to start the healing process. I swore off AA when I got here. Those chores, those lists, those extremly busy days gave my mind enough time to realize, that my best thinking kept an alcoholic. 90 days after I quit drinking I waltzed into a meeting.
There is something else that happened. I can honestly say, that today…I dont experience boredom. I enjoy my free time, I enjoy peace and quite, I enjoy home repairs, chores, cleaning the bathroom. On a day that I have nothing planned, I can easily keep myself entertained. Something I could never do before.
Stay sober!
I feel less boredom now being sober than hanging drunk on the couch each and every night to come.
