Welcome Leigh 
You are not alone. So many of us have been there, struggling, feeling like we’re sinking.
You don’t have to feel that way. Reaching out for help is the beginning of the change. For me it was the moment my life turned around.
Do you have some groups you can join? A recovery program you can participate in?
There are lots of online options these days, and many in person options as well (depending on location):
Online meeting resources
Resources for our recovery