Todays going to be Hard

So today is day 4 :sob: the day ive been dreading! Husband is at work & kids are at school usually id go straight for alcohol as soon as home school run is done while making dinner :tired_face: today i wont - but its already on my mind. How am i going to get through this day? :sob: theres alcohol sitting there chilled in the fridge. Im accually torturing myself!

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Get rid of it! Dont have it in the house or be around it for a long timeā€¦keep talking on here

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Its my Husbands beers, he enjoys one or 2 after work :sob: its going to be so hard. Its me that cant stop i dont want to deny him a beer at night. :sob:

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Cant u speak to him about this? Its gonna make it so much harder for u to have it in the houseā€¦maybe he can pick his beers up on his way back from work at night only? Whats more important?

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See to be honest i havnt really told him how bad it is for me, im too ashamed :pensive: i have mentioned it but in a kind of joking way, he finishes so late at night but suppose this is something he could do.

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Ahā€¦i know its difficult but maybe have a talk with him and just be honest, hes your partnerā€¦do u think he would be supportive?

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My saving grace at the moment is telling myself how wonderful it is not to be ruled by poison any more. Im only day 3. Hope that might help even 1% to ease you xxx

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Just think how proud and anxiety free you will be when school finishes too :heart: :muscle:

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Yeah i think he would be supportive if i really did speak to him about it - ive just said to him they will still be there for him coming back and he said ā€œWell Seeā€ which dosnt help but they will be there because im not having them.

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Fantastic keep it up! :100: the thoughts keep creeping in sometimes like - maybe just 1 - is this really going to be forever? But im just going day by day its what keeps me going. We got this!

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Totally get you, comments like that do not help at all bit i hope you can feel a bit smug when he gets home and they are still there.

My partner can be quite unsupportive at times, mostly when im having a good sober day as though hes angry i can actually do it when Iā€™ve failed so many times before. Keep on here and reach out if you need me x

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Its completely up to u what u do but i think part of alcoholism is it makes you secretive and ashamedā€¦its part of what keeps you sickā€¦maybe your not ready to do this yet but the more honest and open you can be with those around u the less it will keep you isolated

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Based on that ā€˜Weā€™ll seeā€™ response from him it sounds like he knows more about your problems than you give him credit for. Your chances of success increase when youā€™re honest to yourself and those close to you. Your husband canā€™t support you in getting sober if he doesnā€™t know youā€™re trying.

Beers in the fridge are a recipe for caving.

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He probably does know more than he lets on. And i do know i need to be more honest - hes seen me reading books & talking about alcoholism. I am ready for this - i need to be this has been my daily life for 4 years & its only getting worse. I do not want to turn out like my mother. I will have a chat tonight when hes home & i will not touch they beers. Ill be active all day & keep myself busy.

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Try a meeting plenty of ladies out there who are in them same situation as you can go for a coffee or long walks divert your thinking wish you well

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It does make a difference that you stay sober today, to bring your children home sober, to greet your husband sober. You can do this with help, you are worth it, you are stronger than you think.

The thing about @Ray_M_C_Laren 's suggestion is that it grows your sobriety, rather than merely distracting yourself from the alcohol or shifting the focus into your husbandā€™s behavior that you cannot control. One thing I did early on was to read chapter 1 in the AA book ā€œTwelve Steps And Twelve Traditionsā€ every day, then to write on whatever struck me from it for a couple of pages. Itā€™s available free online at Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Book | Alcoholics Anonymous.

Hereā€™s some great threads for newly sober folks as well. Blessings on your house :pray: as you begin your journey.

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Holding all these feelings in and torturing yourself with beer in the fridge is hard, really hard. Opening up to your husband may feel hard, but it can give you so much relief to share your experience and reality. The secret festers til you let some air and sunshine at it.

I hope you will be honest with your husband and tell him your truth. That right now is it too hard to have those beers in the fridge. That they haunt you. That you need to get sober and need him to know how hard this is for you. I hope you can move forward. You are important. Your sobriety is important. :people_hugging:

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Yeah i going to have a chat with him tonight & make sure he understands how hard today is for me. I knew it was gonna be tough but im pushing through. Im cooking good food and cleaning like mad. :heart_eyes: he is working again on Saturday so that will also be a test however ill mention to not have any at home. Suppose i could always just go to shop if i really wanted to but i know i wont :trophy: this is the longest ive went in 4 years im not giving it all up now. x

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Your doing great Chelle, we are with u and you can do this, chances are once your hubby knows the real story hel keep it away from u and support you, he might even be expecting or hoping for the convo tonight, whatever happens we are here to support u :people_hugging:

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Good to hear!! He can bring some home for himself if he must have it. Why torture yourself? I know how hard those talks can be, but getting it out in the open always feels better for me. I hope it does for you as well.

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