Thanks for checking in! I’m feeling a bit drained from all this milling through my head, not super high energy today. Telling myself that’s ok. But keeping in mind what was said here yesterday and feeling happy when at times can imagine this knowledge to become reality and … well, freedom.
Wishing everyone a good and happy Sunday.
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Sending well wishes your way! 
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Hello you wrote alot, you let alot of bad energy out. Keep on writing is good to gain some knowledge of how people are coping. Are you from berlin how is the virus disrupting life over there, over here where I live we have a curfew but its all good. Ok stay safe and sober.
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Hi Elias, yes I wrote a lot, it’s not like me to break my privacy like that but 🤷 it sure was worth it.
Berlin shut everything down completely for a few weeks. I took to renovating my flat and am enjoying a lot of time to myself. Been a good time for me so far, I feel guilty for having it so good tbh.
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I actually dreamt I was telling my mum on the phone I want no part of my dad’s addictive behaviours and self-unaware lifestyle anymore, that I’m sick of it. It was a v realistic dream. She hung up on me.
This stuff is working its way through me, folks!
Keep healthy and sober everyone here! 
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Does anyone have experience with someone in their life having this type of toxic behavior and that person actually changing?
This was a wonderful thread @Faugxh, and thank you so much for sharing your story.
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I would also be interested to hear a story like that.
I have had a mix of people in my life and I’m not sure if I believe people change in a fundamental way - like, from “toxic” to “non-toxic” - but I’m beginning to believe everyone grows into new shapes and new directions, responding to their environment.
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I would hope so, I definitely would hate to be at the end of my life and still feeling offended and paranoid about everything.
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@Faugxh @Flamestar
I think you hit the nail on the head here. Defined boundaries are very important in dealing with this type of situation. Let him know clearly what will and will not be tolerated. Be prepared to walk away if boundaries are not respected.
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I didn’t mean to paint a hopeless picture - I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to say people can’t change. It’s just - in my experience I’ve found “toxic” is a web of behaviours that usually includes manipulativeness, a lack of (showing) empathy, projection of negative self-concept (you’re worthless [which is really their own self-hate]), and sometimes codependency. (I’m not including abuse within the “toxic” umbrella. Abuse is a crime, and it is wrong, always, and anyone in an abusive relationship needs support that is meaningful and helpful for them.)
But I look at toxic and I feel pity. I think what those people have created is a narrative that works for them. It seems (or is) twisted, but it makes sense to them. And I can’t write or rewrite their narrative. The question for me - and it’s not an easy question, because these are often people I care about - is how I connect with this person, or not: what boundaries I set. What’s my narrative? Do I need to engage with them? And if so, how?
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I think that’s a really accurate description! And no you didn’t paint a picture of hopelessness. But I definitely think people can change, after all, I feel like that’s what we’re all trying to do here. Personally, I don’t think anyone decides to be toxic, unless there are other mental health issues going on. That being said, it’s definitely up to the “toxic” person to actively change and again, I think it’s possible.
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I gues it’s one of those “you can lead a horse to water” situations. The question is really, what is going to make them want to change? 
Which goes back to that post you made yesterday: does anyone have stories of people who’ve changed?
I’m trying to picture someone stopping being manipulative, or beginning to show sincere empathy. Honestly when you put it in those measurable terms, I think it’s possible. There are lots of people on this forum, in recovery, who have become empathetic through their efforts.
So maybe people can change. But they have to want to change, more than anything else. And that’s a tall order 
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