So i had 13 days sober from alcohol . After i cut myself to the bone . Just so down i am using acomprosate and sertraline but both has worn off. Ive read and read and i go to a group ‘therapy’ . I dont know why i gave in but i did . Glamourtise alcohol once again forgetting how the depression and anxiety feels , why do i feel like i am missing out although my entire past has been destructive . Fucked of , apologies
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Hi Louie, your day sounds challenging. Telling ourselves that drinking is going to be a good idea. Dealing with life without blinders on. Feeling let down. I am right there all to often. But I have stayed alcohol free for today, and that means I can trust myself a little bit more. Stay close to us here, we want to support you.
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Glad you are here, stick around!
This app can help you to stay focussed every day. If you can (and if you want it you can) be here every day to check in sober. There is a very active tread here where you are very welcome:
I just checked in myself:
Join! And feel welcome! Our goal is to end the day sober and clean. Just 24 houres.
And repeat that tomorrow 
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When I saw your last post was 2 years ago I expected your post to say you had fell off the wagon after 2 years not 13 days. So there in lies the problem, most people with a decent stretch of sobriety are the ones that pop on here regularly and use it as a tool in their recovery to stay accountable and be part of a support network for each other.
Now your back stick around and reach out more often, read what other sober people do and start to take action.
I wish you well on your journey 
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Been there. But get back into the fight, sobriety is going to be your superpower!
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This aint easy. Im on day 27 and its tough everyday. The main thing I think about is I have accepted I cant be and am not a social drinker. I use the analogy of leaving to go on vacation I want to get there quick. So I’ll have a beer and a couple of shots to get me there then I continue. I know I just can’t have a few it always leads back to starting during the day and then getting drunk. I guess my main motivation is knowing I’m gonna wake up feeling like shit both mentally and physically. Man the juice aint worth the squeeze for me anyway. Ive gotten back into the gym , yoga and other things I used to enjoy. I’ve done it by checking in here every morning, doing some other reading and trying to stay occupied with whatever I find. I will say if you slip up get back up and try again nobody is gonna take you out in a field and shoot you. Best of luck keep checking in, you’ll get it.
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Itis hard to turn around a life of destruction. But any big change is made up of little steps. Could you start going to meetings? Reading a chapter of a quit lit every day? Even if you tried these things before you might be in a different frame of mind now. And take it one day at a time. 
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Thank you for your kind words , im not giving up !
Its been a tough time lately, i read more than post . Thanks , appreciate it !