Oh Derek!! It’s lovely to see you back here, asshole 
PS: For those that don’t know, it’s a term of endearment 
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Good one!!
I’m probably one of those that is mostly just going about my business as a non drinker but not delving into the deep stuff.
I have a sadness today come out of nowhere; maybe what you just said @anon65470292. Thanks for all your great perspectives. 
I believe the old adage suggests you’ll get less than half: Nothing at all. That was certainly my experience.
Not putting the full effort in always led me to a back slide to where I started. Same went for not keeping it up.
It isn’t easy, but it sure is simple. And worth it.
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Well said mate. You’ve got this. 
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Not really. I have some sober friends with alot of time I talk to.
Ah, but what is the truth is it universal? Is there only one truth? Who decides what the truth is?
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Here’s some truth: If you continue to not put effort in to your sobriety you will continue to not be sober.
Edit: Obviously not you per se, but you know what I mean.
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How do we define effort? Is your idea of what is effort the truth or the only acceptable effort?
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I don’t even know what the hell you are trying to say, but what I see is people coming here with minimal effort and achieving minimal sobriety. We can argue semantics all day long, but if you half ass sobriety you won’t get it. Just like anything worth having in life, it takes work to get it. You can’t half ass anything and expect maximum results.
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To me effort is conscious reflection followed by action. Appealing to more authority than mine alone.
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Just saying that all y’all like to throw down on THIS IS HOW IT IS DONE and in my experience, there are a variety of ways to get there. Sometimes half assing it for awhile can help you move forward and ready you for what comes next.
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“Fake it till you make it.”
Not gonna lie, that works too. Just doing stuff, not yet really sure where it’s going. Maybe later on it will click.
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I think you are on the wrong thread. While someone is out there halfassing it I hope they don’t die while they are out there waiting for sobriety to magically happen.
Lol, wrong thread indeed. Just sharing my opinion, as we are allowed to do here.
In my experience, little steps can add up to success. Sometimes people get so bogged down in the I HAVE TO DO THIS ALL RIGHT NOW that they become overwhelmed and give up. If they are accepted and encouraged for the work they ARE doing, however small, it can be a positive start.
Just my opinion. As your statements are your opinions.
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I get frustrated some times.
And i do feel bad about that.
I don’t want anybody to feel like I am shaming them.
IMHO I do believe that posting “no worries relapses are part of it” doesn’t help.
The first run at sobriety is gold, it is the free run make the most of it which means don’t freaking slip! I am not saying i wil never slip but just for now… I am sure will make my 180 days soon.
Determination is a key part.
And half assing keep using a bit, do a relapse or 10… It will only make try 11 that much harder. That’s what I’ve learned from many experienced relapsers.
That would be the story someone who slips needs to hear. Just dust off reset and go back on the treadmill isn’t going to cut it. As we know that in another two or three weeks the same freaking demons will be there waiting for us.
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Just now
I gave someone some feedback on her relapse story. Instead of putting the littlest of work in she told me she has the willpower and only drank 2 glasses. So not a freaking bottle.
Cmon sassy we all know where that leads her.
Ow and also she said that we are all different. I for one don’t believe I know more about illness then the WHO and they state we have an illness called addiction and it is incurable and progressive if you don’t treat it?
Then the clausule comes up… Would we tell a cancer patient chemo can wait… I knowwww we have heared it all before.
I am not on my best behavior so better I vent here then elsewhere
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I have a bit of sobriety and I have joined none of those groups. I am not saying that works for everyone, but I do know it has worked for me. I hate the idea of turning people off if they aren’t following xyz way. I am all for people working hard to find their path and all for respecting their journey.
I think you generally give a calm, positive approach and it is nice to see you have found a program that works for you.
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Based on the tough love here — I did everything wrong and generally do everything wrong except make a shitton of meetings.
It is why i don’t believe my way or the highway approach works for sobriety. My experience shows me that there are sort of navigational buoys out there that we have to keep it between to stay sober. You Sassy are a prime example of that for me. You didn’t do it my way or Derek’s way — but I can’t argue that you’re not sober AF (especially putting up with all of us). It’s not my way – but that is ok. I get to grow through your experience and learn that I don’t have all the answers.
I think we can all agree that if you stay right in the middle of those navigational buoys and never waiver, it is an easier softer ride. The question is what defines those navigational buoys or even what sobriety vs. abstention actually is? AA to a degree provides a readily available plug in to define those buoys but as you demonstrate to all of us it isn’t the only way.
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I know…
And your right.
Sometimes it is just frustrating to see people come in ask for help and then they don’t accept any… I know it is their path.
“Leven en laten leven”
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