I’ve… Actually always liked the Vulcan.
3 Likes
Growth doesn’t happen inside one’s comfort zone. Become comfortable with being uncomfortable!
6 Likes
In fact, Stevie, this thought had come up because of something that reminded me of you. It’s no Krav Maga. But I’m taking salsa lessons with a friend in sobriety.
My nerves almost got the better of me on day one, I almost retreated. Then I remembered I’m teachable if I can humble myself and do the work.
And guess what? With humility, patience and practice, this old bird can still dance!
12 Likes
Learning to dance or learning to fight…it seems difficult at first, because everything is difficult at first!
Keep getting after it!
5 Likes
Just ran into a guy who I saw a lot in early recovery. Went to meetings, did the fellowship, but never worked the steps. Last I saw him he had over 10 years sober.
Tomorrow he is celebrating 6 months. So, yeah, there’s a message here and I think it’s pretty clear.
12 Likes
Are you talking to me?? 
I know I know. I really should do the steps. I’m just not good at asking for help (probably like every other alcoholic/addict!!). If someone offered to be my sponsor I’d probably accept though.
Lame ass excuses!!
2 Likes
And I am just kidding. I know you’re not actually directing it at me….I just see myself so much in that post.
Of course not. Running into him really put things in perspective for me. It’s a good reminder that no matter how much it feels like we have this that it can always happen if we aren’t vigilant.
4 Likes
Unbelievably… People who have done the steps have also relapsed.
I’m not sure what the lesson there is, but there’s a lesson.
Maybe…
Conspiracy?
You decide!
Join us after these short messages from our sponsors where we reveal this one weird trick to sobriety that everyone should know!
4 Likes
Woah, cowboy… This isn’t about me.
Never said anything about the kinds of people 12-Steppers or No-Steppers are… Or what they do/don’t believe.
Only that both suffer relapse.
4 Likes
I really hate step 9. Why should I make amends with people who have attacked me on multiple occasions. What is wrong with defending myself? I once didn’t stand up for myself. They kept kicking even though I was already on the ground. My sponsor told me I should make amends with those who I did defend myself from because I did harm them. I do not feel guilty the least bit about those times. I even feel proud for standing up for myself in groups of 20 people. So I do not see the reason to make amends as I believe making amends with them will come closer to harming me then helping me. But, when amends are due, I make them without hesitation. I’ve been an ass and I’ve hurt people even if it never was my intention to do so.
Guess I needed to vent a bit…
3 Likes
This is where we totally disagree Tomi. I don’t want to do the steps. Not that I feel forced to do so by you or anybody else, I just fundamentally disagree with 'm.
I don’t think I am powerless over alcohol. Abstention gives me that power. That’s step one.
I don’t believe a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. Only I myself can do that, with the help of other human beings and with the elimination of my ego that is. That’s two.
There is no God. That’s how I understand it. Three.
Step four is good, I agree with that one. Also with the help of others. Just don’t go it alone. Asking God for help is going it alone IMO. Ask help from other people. Real entities.
Leave out God and I’m fine with step five.
There is no God so I can not ask him to remove my character defects. I have to work on those myself. Six.
See step six for my comment on step seven.
I like steps eight and nine. Toughie but a good thing to do.
I’m OK with step ten.
You totally lost me with step eleven.
TBH “Spiritual awakening” sounds like a bunch of bull to me. With all respect. I’ve always been interested in my soul and other people’s souls. It’s not a total lack of that that made me an addict. Step twelve.
I like you and respect you massively Tomi. Still I disagree with your idea that everybody would benefit from doing the twelve steps. There’s way too much God in 'm. For me. Totally distracts me from the purpose, which is to live as good a life as possible. Without the use or the need for mind altering substances.
My personal three pillars of sobriety are: honesty, knowledge and not going it alone. You and me both know where AA comes from and for me that’s way too much distraction from my purpose. And I am pretty sure that goes for many other people too. I am genuinly happy for you that it works for you and I encourage everybody to try AA out. Whatever helps helps. Believe whatever you want to believe, just as long as it is not harmful to others.
It’s not my puprose to start a discussion about the merits of the steps or AA in general. What triggered me is you saying the steps would benefit all. I don’t agree. Well that may be obvious by now.
14 Likes
They are easy enough to do without God as I’m pretty sure you and Tomi are in line there. I think sometimes we get caught up in the wording and miss the message. I’ll admit the way the are worded sometimes makes it hard to see the forest through the trees. My experience in AA only is that people who work the steps and use them in their life seemingly have better lives. I think what Tomi means is the self-reflection that is involved in doing the steps would be beneficial to everyone, not just people with addiction. In fact step one is the only step that mentions alcohol at all. As far as the steps that involve God/HP just think of your inner conscience as that and you would be on the same path.
3 Likes
@Englishd It’s fine if it works for you like that. Or for anyone. I personally can’t look around the manifold use of the God word and the notion of God in the 12 steps and the Big Book. That’s me. And I agree with you in thinking Tomi and I are pretty much in line in how we see Recovery and how working our Recoveries works.
I fully agree with that. But I don’t think I or anyone needs the 12 steps for that.
@Mephistopheles No need for apologies Tomi. It’s good to think about this sort of stuff. And discuss it too, just as long as we don’t end up fighting like I see happening so often on the interwebs between pro and contra AA people. I’m not anti AA anyway.
3 Likes
And this is why I have always adored what you have said on here!
1 Like
Setting goals is great.
Achieving goals is great.
Wanting more out of life is great.
Wanting what I already have in life is even better. My life has been so much more full when I accept where I’m at. Sure I could look at how my life would be if I was never an addict, but why bother? It wouldn’t make me happy to look at that. It wouldn’t change my current circumstances.
My life is amazing just the way it is. Not because of money or material things, not even because of friends and family. Though having those things doesn’t hurt, my true happiness comes from the acceptance of myself.
16 Likes
“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance”
~ Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth
I was talking with a friend today about how very grateful I feel for my life. I feel blessed and I’m thankful. I have all I need, humbly. And although I may want for certain things / experiences, my happiness and peace do not depend on them❣️ I have learnt a lot from my life thus far, and no doubt I’ll continue to learn, for that is the journey. I’ve learned the BEST thing I can do is accept life as it is, rather than how I think it should be. By doing this, I’ll be more at peace.
7 Likes
When I got out of my first rehab I didn’t delete all my dealers numbers from my phone.
Why did I do that you might ask?
Simple, I wasn’t done getting high. Im fact this is the only reason anyone would keep their dealers number. So if you’re reading this and you still have your dealers number, you’re not done getting high.
14 Likes
I came across this thread and just wanted u to know how much I relate to your posts and how much they are helping right now. Ur one hell of a strong person and I admire your determination to live a healthier life. Thank u for sharing
6 Likes