If you haven’t got anything nice to say about somebodies recovery then don’t say anything at all.
Got this as a reply on one of my Sober TikTok speech’s. “Would not recommend AA, super religious and I’d argue the 12 steps are actually more detrimental to mental health”
I haven’t replied and I’ve decided not to, you need to keep your own side of the street clean and not worry about others wrongdoings.
It reminds me of me. Pointing my finger at all the reasons why AA is bullshit while three of my fingers were pointed back at me. 
I’ve gotten the same in TT. Just ignored it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but I don’t have to feed it. 
I love recovery TT.
Just watched the Tony Hawk documentary last now and it got me thinking. The athletes who are at the top of their sport (Hawk, Kobe, Jordan, Brady, etc) absolutely refuse to accept failure. Brady doesn’t toss an interception and think “oh shucks, I’ll do better next time”. He goes over to the sidelines, swears at himself, gets pissed, beats himself up until he’s sure he won’t make that mistake again. Kobe would spend hours on the court busting his ass, not making excuses for why he missed that layup.
They don’t take it easy on themselves. They are harder on themselves than anyone else could possibly be. Then they use that as motivation to make damn sure they never make the same mistake again. They refuse to accept failure as just “part of the process”
I am hard on myself because no one else will be.
Y’all got horses for profile pictures. That’s hard enough.
This is my fav post of 22 so far. 
Y’know what I really didn’t appreciate until recovery? Practically no one has anything good by accident.
Fit people exercise a lot. Wealthy people worked a lot. Smart people read a lot. Talented people practice a lot. Peaceful people meditate a lot.
Since getting sober and asking how they did it, most of them also failed a lot. And many don’t talk about it as much as they effort toward it. It’s just their quiet labor. What seems effortless now took them a lot of effort.
Honestly I used to judge people for it (“try hard, lol”), when in truth I was envious and insecure. Now that’s turned into respect.
They work for it. I can too, if I try. All that for sobriety too.
Exactly all this!
Yep. And when it changed from “what an @$$hole” into, “Hey, that’s cool, how’d you do that?” things got better instead of bitter.
Things got better instead of bitter. I LOVE THIS!!
I will say that when I worked on my resentments there were a few cases where someone truly did do me wrong….but as I learned about my own failings I came to realize that they were (or were likely) dealing with their own personal traumas and I stopped taking things so personally. I can’t control what other people do, I can only control how I react to it.
Here’s an exhaustive list of the hobbies that helped me get sober:
….
Here’s a sampling of hobbies I have as a result of focusing on my sobriety:
Hiking
Biking
Concerts
Beach trips
Snowshoeing
Cooking
Going to the pool
Trivia (at a bar no less)
Public speaking
Dining out
That’s just scratching the surface, but none of those things are a replacement for actually working on sobriety. Nor can I actually do them without first doing the work in sobriety. AA, SMART, rehab, therapy, IOP, any other sobriety support group. That’s actually working on recovery
Been doing some reflection/work lately around relationships. The phrase “toxic relationship” gets thrown around a lot (probably too much). I’ve been in a few bad ones (maybe toxic??) and in those situations it was real easy for me to only focus on the behavior of the other person and say they were toxic. I never really looked at my behavior. Buuuuut through some real honest, and hard, self reflection I was able to see my role and there was definitely blame to be placed on myself. I’ve learned that it almost always takes 2 people to have a toxic relationship. Just some food for thought.
This is such a great description of what it takes. Thank you!
Thank you LAB, for your message! It allowed the notification to pop up and for me to read it again myself. Always good to read what we’ve written and posted in the past, it helps to refresh the resolve and remind you of the path you’re on and WHY. Reminds me of strength i’ve had and that we can continue to move forward 
I’m very grateful to be sober today and I love my life without alcohol. It’s much better than the alternative would be. A lot less worry and anxiety - alcohol induces these things exorbitantly for me. No thanks. Sober and free! Sober life = best life 
I had one real bad relationship, my last until now tbh. In the end I am grateful that it turned out so badly as it threw my forcefully into my addiction and many bottles of wine later onto my path into recovery. Reflecting on this relationship and my part in it was a huge part of me recovering.
I never realized or better yet accepted how toxic I was until I stopped drinking. In addition, due to my addiction (and other life shit), couldn’t have a healthy relationship because I didn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like. It bursts to look back at the damage I caused and at all the suffering (mine too) I went through. Living sober has made me deal with me and now that I am having a healthy relationship with myself I can be the partner that I am supposed to be to participate in a healthy relationship.
I think “toxic relationships” are those where neither party is right for the other. They bring out the worst and little of the best in each other, and both contribute to the toxicity.
Being in recovery means I get to determine my own mood independently of any outside influence. I can choose to be happy, sad, angry or anything else. No one else can make me feel any type of way.
The Oak doesn’t care. Its trunk is strong and its roots deep. The one who cares is the leaf on the wind, for it has no say in its fate.
