Took me a while to realize my boredom was years of being used to constant chaos. Either internally or externally. My mind and body weren’t used to just feeling ok and at rest.
We can be bothered we’re bored, or see it as a good thing: Things are actually quiet for a change.
Then hell yeah, what do I wanna do with that time? The world’s my oyster.
It’s nobody’s job to fix you.
There is no person that can magically fix your mental health or give you what you are “missing”.
Stop using people as your DOC.
It’s codependency, not healing.
DAMN!! I really like this one. I may screenshot that to keep on my phone. Thanks Derek.
I’ve missed reading this thread. By far my favourite. Hard to read sometimes but ALWAYS on the nose!!
This is how to live. We dont always get a choice in what happens to us or the way life rolls, but we can work out how we deal with life and face the day. Some days we hit back harder then others, but the point is to never back down. Xo. Edit: or is it never stay down? Or is it, always get back up? One of those, take your pick from this tired brain. Xo.
Early in sobriety I was given what is most likely a misdiagnosis regarding my MH. Drug abuse and withdrawal can often mimic an assortment of issues (BPD, Bipolar, NPD, etc). Regardless of the accuracy of the diagnosis I spent a good two years in and of sobriety and I used that diagnosis as an excuse for my character defects.
What I know now is that although my alcoholism diagnosis is not my fault, how I manage it is. Outside circumstances in life are beyond my control, but how I manage my reaction to them is most definitely within sphere of my control.
I’m not saying I got here immediately. It took a lot of work and self reflection, but I cannot imagine coming to this forum every day and whining about the same things over and over again without trying to fix it. I cannot imagine complaining about how my addiction has taken everything from me and then investing almost no effort in staying sober.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, I am the biggest problem in my life.
“I know now is that although my alcoholism diagnosis is not my fault, how I manage it is. Outside circumstances in life are beyond my control, but how I manage my reaction to them is most definitely within sphere of my control.”
Gold. 
Pure gold Derek 
I’m responsible for working on my issues - or choosing not to do so. I personally have little patience with people whining & complaining but not putting a dime in working on what they can change. This goes for all life issues, not only for sobriety. Austrians are a folk of world master whiners & complainers, known as “raunzen und nix ändern” 
Someone please add this to the daily phrases displayed in the day counter.
I support this idea 
I am responsible for ME. Change must come from within. Always appreciate you sharing your wisdom and experience @Englishd
This reflects what I believe is your soon to be 7 years …. And the truth of what it takes.
“No one ever got sober in an echo chamber”
Thank God I had people in my early sobriety who challenged my distorted thinking. If I had nothing but validation of my perceived slights I would have never gotten sober.
I think it’s important to know the difference between things we do to get sober and things we get to do because we are sober.
Distractions and hobbies are fun. But they are not things that will get you sober. Chores are not fun and will also not get you sober.
Things that get you sober are therapy, being active here, rehab, meetings, step work, etc.
So when someone asks you what you did to stay sober today walking the dog doesn’t count. Thats just something you get to do because you are sober.
Thought provoking, thanks.
The least attractive AA meeting I ever went to was in Plymouth, MA. I was turned off, because they would ask everyone who wanted to share if they had done a 4th step yet. And if the answer was no, the whole room would say “Keep writing!” and the person was not allowed to share. Same principle - focus on what is needed to get sober and then recognize the benefits of being sober.
This is definitely a forum that I resonate with the most! The hardest part of choosing to now be sober was recognising what an asshole I am when I drink. A stupid, dangerous asshole too. I have no friends left, which is not surprising. My husband leaves if I’m drinking, again not surprising as I am horrible to him. Sometimes I’m actually surprised I’m still alive because of the ridiculous and dangerous situations I’ve put myself in. Using alcohol as a crutch for bad things that have happened to me was the worst decision I ever made. There was never any accountability. I’ve royally fucked up not only my mental health but my physical health too. That’s all on me.
I was at meeting tonight and reminded that there’s only one true bottom, and that’s death. There’s this huge misconception that you need a bottom before you get sober. Honestly that mindset is like playing Russian roulette with a completely loaded gun.
Every bottom has a trap door and if you’re waiting around for your bottom before you stop I can assure you that it can always get worse until it can’t. But at that point it’s too late…,
Listen, I get it. No one ever wants to be told they’ve not doing enough, but the fact remains that everyone is going to come up short in some aspect of life. Would you rather know what that is so you can improve? Or would you rather go through life without ever getting better?
Ignorance might be bliss, but it’s also a good way to die.
People just want to be told its ok, don’t worry, you can try again, not everyone does get to try sobriety again.
Drives me mad when people say they’ve relapsed and list everything they need to do. That tells me they know what to do and choose not to.
I don’t waste my time with those people anymore, if they have so much insight why do they keep picking up? Because they choose to, Im not going to enable someone and stroke their ego so they feel better about drinking when Im fighting for my sober life.
Rant over 