I hear you… maybe it’s time to reflect on the original first half of the serenity prayer. The big picture is an unfair mess, but we can each change our little corner of it one day at a time.
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
Its nuts that we have to feel as though this will get flagged. What you are talking about are serious changes to our lives, especially yours in your country, it’s madly terrifying and real. Its not really about taking personally but coming to terms with life on life’s actual terms.
Being in denial should be a flag right now. We are adults. We need to talk about our world.
Just seeing this. I hear you. It is a harsh world we live in and scary. My mental health continues to suffer and certainly the natural disasters here in little slice of the world have not helped. You are not alone in feeling helpless. We do what we can, where we can.
Don’t give up. (Also the title of a poignant song by Peter Gabriel, give it a listen)
That’s a good quote 
I feel ya Derek. It’s hard. I’m the same way. I help where I can. And I try and be grateful for what I have. More so now than ever. I don’t stick my head in the sand. But I try not to watch. And share my kindness where I can.
Sucks out there.
tired of placing myself into situations where i know better yet constantly take stepping. god bless self awareness but in order for it to benefit me i must actually use it lol
2 clicks.
That’s how many clicks it takes to get to the forum on my phone. Less than 5 seconds. That literally all the time and effort it takes to access a vitally important recovery resource.
If I can’t be bothered to complete 2 clicks and 5 seconds I probably can’t be bothered to stay sober.
I mean, i have a swipe, but yeah, easy peasy lemon squeezy.
I used to think that I was too busy, too important to make time for recovery. Eventually my drinking and drugging took away all those things that made me busy and important. Then I had plenty of time to actually focus on my recovery.
I see so many “I can’t” “I don’t” and “I won’t “ posts on this forum and I chuckle to myself and think about my great great great grand sponsor who likes to say “suffer well”
Because I know that suffering. I know it well.
Agree 100%. When I read any of these statements from our suffering folk I feel they just haven’t hit enough bottom to do whatever is necessary to remain sober. I wanted sobriety so badly I would have done anything I could and did. I was fortunate to ACCEPT my way was not working at all. I gave in completely and am reaping the benefits of a sober life. Life for me does have its challenges and see clearly now why I chose the bottle over facing the facts life can be hard especially when dealing with others who you cannot avoid.
Always a pleasure to read your words.
Gosh; it would be interesting to read some of my old posts from years back to see if I wrote those words(probably)! Interesting
I think it basically just comes down to the fact that if you want to actually be sober you’re going to do a bunch of things you don’t necessarily want to do and all the things that people With long-term sobriety tell you to do..
I remember the day that I surrendered and pretty much gave up trying to fight everything.. I was sitting in the back of a cop car after a another six or seven week binge or whatever. Arrested on two burglary charges. I was 100% homeless and sleeping under this sushi restaurant On their patio and panhandling every day and doing other ridiculous things to get alcohol and drugs. Like breaking into places and stealing alcohol and whatever..Because that’s where my addiction takes me!! I remember thinking how can I get out of this arrest or cop car.. how do I not go to jail ?? maybe I can pretend I’m insane and they’ll take me to the hospital or mental place?? Then I remember something clicked for the first time in my life and I was thinking maybe I should just do whatever they tell me to do and admit guilt and give up.
I thought about my life in jail for two months and I knew when I got out .. if I got out that I don’t really have any more chances and like you said it’s not about dying or death there is a lot worse things.
I’m not saying I have all the answers Or it’s always smooth sailing. I still make stupid choices or life happens and I don’t always act like an adult but I know I’m improving every day. It’s mostly because I still do the same routines that I did 18 months ago after I got out of jail. It’s a lot of saying yes. Yes I can do that…
I think for the rest of my life I’m just going to think about the fact that if I stop doing my Recovery work or backslide then I’m going to go to jail or prison which is pretty much the truth. Those two months were the scariest of my life because I didn’t think I was coming home and it was a horrible environment. I am unwilling to do anything that gives me any possibility of being in that place again!!
Thank God I had a good group of people around me in early sobriety who didn’t let me believe the lies I told myself.
“oh I have mental health issues it’s harder for me” - nope, so does everyone else and they did it.
Just one example of the many excuses I believed. If I had received endless validation of all my bullshit I’d be the most validated corpse in the graveyard
In some of my earlier attempts at Recovery I definitely used the mental health card but most of the time it was when it was some thing that I just didn’t want to do or I knew it was going to actually make me grow as a person or change. There was a lot of things I used early on as excuses but it’s funny looking back like my mental health used to supposedly stop me from holding a job and going to meetings / doing AA commitments and whatever else but yet my mental health didn’t stop me from somehow coming up with $100 and getting to the other side of town to get drugs or my mental health Didn’t stop me from getting myself out of a pickle or situation because of my lifestyle but if it was something legitimate or some thing with Recovery then oh yeah I’m bipolar and have anxiety.. I can’t do that!!!
This time it’s really just about totally surrendering and accepting that sometimes I just have to be OK with whatever I’m feeling and sometimes I’m going to be uncomfortable Or have to do things I don’t necessarily want to do. The cool thing is that if Something makes me uncomfortable and I push through or do it anyway that just makes me stronger for the next time I have to go through something stressful or something I don’t wanna deal with. Plus it makes the times where I’m comfortable even more comfortable
lol 
And I got bored… that’s got to be the dumbest reason to get loaded. Im sure I’ve done it. I’ve done every other dumb thing I can think of as I decided I was going to drink.