Y’all need Musashi.
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For me, admitting I was alcoholic was pretty damned liberating. It made it easy to say that I don’t have the upper hand when it comes to alcohol.
I’ll take being an alcoholic over being a drunk any day.
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Words have whatever power you give them.
Nerd used to be “derogatory” and it’s been owned and used to people’s benefit, same with losers, weirdos, freaks. If you own the word, embrace it, how could it be used in a negative connotation against you?
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I’m an Alcoholic. When I’m in the rooms, I’m with fellow alcoholics.
When I’m outside of the rooms, I’m with fellow human beings. Some of whom know that I’m an alcoholic. But most don’t. I’m just Geoff.
Owning the fact that I am an alcoholic was the best thing I did. It allowed me to have some control back on my life.
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Schrodinger’s cat @Bootz. I’m not an alcoholic until I say I am. But is admitting it what makes me an alcoholic? Leave me alone. I’m tired.
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I love how people are still debating the disease aspect of addiction. Every reputable medical provider disagrees. It’s no longer an opinion to say it’s not a disease. It’s a misstatement of fact
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The definition of a disease according to Merriam Webster. I’d say alcoholism falls into this category.
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Semantics. It’s a medical problem. Just like Bi-polar
Mental illness is what brought most of us here…
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I think we attach too much of our own ego to whatever method we’ve chosen to guide us toward the goal of sobriety, which in my method is the disciplined mastery of self.
So we get understandably defensive when the efficacy of our chosen approach is questioned, or the program itself attacked.
There’s a reason why there are dozens of car makers and a plethora of models within: because we each have different needs, tastes, and responses to aesthetics and performance.
There’s a reason why I like meatballs on my pizza, and believe pineapple on a pizza is for philistines.
There’s a reason why there are many religions, and sects, denominations, and traditions therein.
And there’s a reason why I’ll never pooh-pooh any formal program, because some have for their own reasons chosen that approach, anymore than I’d pooh-pooh one martial art because it’s different from the one’s I’ve chosen: If they didn’t work for at least a few, they wouldn’t survive.
At least that’s the way I see it. Your mileage may vary.
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“Many of us have been UNWILLING to admit we were alcoholics. No person likes to Think that they are bodily and mentally different than their fellows”
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Good thing I had lotsa practice 
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So I have noticed a trend with almost everyone in recovery. People seem to get offended when someone asks if they relapsed. Then claim they don’t have support and all that jazz. I haven’t seen it here lately, but it’s definitely happened. So I want to tell you a little story.
My friend who recently died of a heroin overdose had 6 (not 7) years clean before dying. However, I thought his relapse was rather short, but it turns out he had been using a while. Looking back there were some obvious signs, that I, and everyone else missed. His parents didn’t ask when they noticed because he had some clean time. Probably didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
If someone asks me if I have relapsed, or if I’m using again I am going to be grateful they did. That means they care enough to ask. It means they noticed a change in my behavior. They care. How many people are going to be open if they relapse? Few, if any, I bet. So if no one asks, and you won’t tell, how the hell is anyone going to help you?
Think about this the next time your upset that someone cares enough about you to ask how you are doing. Don’t get offended. Jesus.
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If I relapse, you will know, because I’ll be posting about my first meeting.
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Wow. That’s a great perspective. Filing that away for when/if my husband ever asks. I won’t get offended, I’ll be grateful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Appreciate that even though you are mourning the loss of your friend, you’re still finding a way to help others.
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I’ve been thinking. I think that sometimes when people hate on AA or other formal meeting programs, it’s actually because they fear being face to face with their addiction.
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And they think that they’ve " got this " on their own!
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Look at you Ludo!
Proud of you and your growth my friend.
Well done!
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Try reading “Drop the Rock”
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Amen man.
My mom every once in a while asks me “is everything alright with you?” with this look on her face. And it used ti frustrate me, because I percieved it as doubt. Like great, she’s doubting me again and does not believe I am capable or sober.
Then I realized it wasn’t doubt, it was fear. She was afraid that I’d gone into a dark spot, that I was gonna drink again and burn my life again. She was afraid that I wouldn’t be show up when I said I would, she was afraid she would outlive me. She watched her husband die thanks to alcohol, she got to raise 3 kids on her own thanks to alcohol.
When I finally realized she was concerned, not doubtful, it changed my whole perspective on being asked if everything is good and she gives me that look.
Edit
And I’ll add that when she asks me if everything is kosher, it’s not without merit. She sees the change or notices a change in my demeanor. Sometimes it’s just long days and I’m cranky, sometimes there is something troubling me, sometimes she just sees my old ego rearing it’s ugly head. Her simple question allows me to at time reflect and make some adjustments because it’s that obvious I’m having a little struggle and I can change my own course for better harbors, it also eases my “I don’t want to be a burden” feelings because I may not want her to bear the weight of my dilemma… but she’s asking so she’s willing to help.
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