Here’s the thing, in our early drunk alcoholic brain before we got sober I definitely thought that it would definitely work staying the same and looking at the bottle of wine on the kitchen side, pointing a finger at it and telling it “no, not today” like it was some naughty child. Go figure that didn’t work. As ridiculous as that is to read it was true, and that was the majority if not all of us in the beginning.
I was not going to change for love nor money until I was ready, until I hit my rock bottom and until I got a program and fellowship.
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I was like you. I liked for years rarely posting but knew I had a problem. Never posted about relapses. I post more now because I was ready and couldn’t drink anymore. Made that commitment. It does get frustrating at times to see continuing relapses, but they are just not ready. It’s just part of the process for them. BTW, always have loved your posts and all of the long-standing members of this forum. It’s been a major component in my journey.
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I believe there is an app. I’ve used the site in the past. It’s pretty minimal:
Actual photo of the app developer:
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There’s a Scooby Doo meme right there
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I have only my experience to go on. And while it has come out good in the end, it was definitely touch and go for a couple of decades. I went 18 years between my first AA meeting and 30 days of sobriety to my true recovery. About 10 of those years I was making various attempts to stay dry and get out of trouble. Those included time in AA, time in inpatient and outpatient rehab, time under Department of Corrections. I had one period of just under 9 months, and maybe two or three runs of around 3-4 months.
I think I have posted on here before that I never relapsed. I never slipped, or screwed up, or was struck drunk. I drank because I wasn’t done drinking, and I thought there was still some benefit to be had.
I also know that, for me, logic and consequences were never a motivation to stop drinking or to stay dry. I found a way around, through, or past those obstacles to my drinking.
I got sober in the early internet age. My only experience with reporting “relapse” was showing up to an AA meeting and announcing my new sobriety date. I was typically met with stony silence and some helpful, well meaning, advice.
I don’t respond to a lot of relapse posts, especially those where the poster seems to keep repeating the same pattern or blames some circumstance. When I do respond, it’s more along the lines of asking what different the poster will do. I try to not normalize relapse. As they say around here, it is continuous sobriety that counts. And I endorse that to some extent - I learned a little from my early bouts, but less and less as time went on.
I can only explain to someone how I got sober. And that is merely a description of a spiritual experience that completely upended my approach to my drinking. I was drinking a beer and getting arrested one minute, and I was done drinking the next, convinced that everything is going to be alright. I didn’t induce that event or make it happen. There was some amount of preparedness to hear the message, and there was definitely willingness to work a program and stay sober after that. But I didn’t make it happen - not the best news for me to give to someone struggling to stop drinking and stay stopped.
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I appreciate you sharing. I am working the steps and getting ready to start step 4. Step 3 was a major commitment on my end as I know there are going to be times that I suck horribly and letting go of the control. That being said, spiritual progress versus spiritual perfection allowed me to accept step 3. And I am feeling good about it. A large part of why I finally had had enough with drinking was just feeling a complete lack of purpose, saying to myself “Is this it?” Daily. It got old. I really want peace and contentment. I look forward to achieving some spiritual connection, even if it isn’t dramatic. It’s something that takes work and in my case most likely patience. Always appreciate your posts. Thanks for sharing.
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This is a golden nugget. Absolutely golden. With diamonds encrusted into it.
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Shhhh. I have 3
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Believe. In. Action.
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Well, if it keeps her from sending me ongoing hateful emails, then I guess that’s a good thing.
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They will notice man. When they notice not before. Time takes kind patience.
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The teacher is there. Look astutely for them man. They are everywhere understand.
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How you know that people are doing this?? Honestly. I’m utterly clueless. I’m sitting here singing “la la la” totally believing everything. I’m so effing naive I sometimes hate it.
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Same here Sue. I miss so much because I believe everything.
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To. Cultivate. Healing.
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No app but get NA just for today in your mailbox. Free.http://www.jftna.org/jft-subscription-m.html
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Graciously forward.
Agreed. Best we can do is release our expectations and try to be a kind and compassionate friend/advisor… let go of any expectancy that this person will be able to follow and apply your lessons immediately without their own adequate experience. Each person travels their own journey. release anticipation of others journey’s and focus on your own, all while being there with a compassionate ear and loving advice when seeked 
then you don’t have to wrought yourself with any worry or disappointment about this kind of thing.
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Love this, thank you for sharing 
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