It’s only longer bc I like to write lol. At the end of the day though I really don’t have the issues I used to. When I was using I literally had no idea where, or when, my next meal might be. I committed so many crimes that going to jail was always a daily threat. My mind was so messed up that I really couldn’t separate reality from my own paranoia. So yeah, I ain’t going back to that. I’m also not going to sit around and feel sorry for myself.
Poor me. Poor me. Pour me. Pour me another drink. There’s nothing in my life worth relapsing over. Those used to just be words I said, but I wasn’t sure if I believed them. Now I know. Doesn’t mean that I couldn’t snap up a beer tomorrow so I better keep those spiritual principals close at hand.
Gotta add going to the gym to the things that are not a sobriety wand. Or good friends that “support” you. Those things are all fine and dandy. But if you are an alcoholic, they ain’t gonna keep you sober
I’m sure theres the same principle somewhere there for me as well. I wish it were as simple as, if I use again, I could wind up dead. There are other things at stake, but sometimes it’s hard to see the vitality of sobriety in my vice.
Jumping to the 9th step. Lol. That one really appeals to people. They say to themselves, “make amends eh?? I think I’ll do that”.
Hopefully they have someone that explains to them that
A. The steps are in order for a reason
B. Then 9th step is not meant to make you feel better about fucking people over… Knucklehead
Started going to meetings last week. Went earlier today to one. Here’s the deal tho. I’m on this app secretly. Now I’m going to meetings secretly. I drank secretly. See the trend? Sneaky, sneaky, etc. Sober, but still living double life in such regard.
Did any of y’all start meetings, and then tell people you know you’re an alcoholic later? Is this normal? Doesnt this have to do with step one? I’m an alcoholic, and my life became unmanageable. Seems I haven’t fully admitted I’m an alcoholic, if I haven’t voiced it, for example, to my husband right? Granted, he already surely knows based on my behavior, but I haven’t said the words out loud to him.
If I need my ass kicked, then kick it. Wincing, but just let it fly.
I made amends to a girl I completely fucked over years ago last week and now she wont leave me the fuck alone. Should have totally put her in the cause myself harm box
I’d have a chat with my sponsor about that. There’s someone who I absolutely hate right now so I want to make amends to them, buuut I ain’t on that step and I would just fuck it up anyway. I’m going to be finishing my 4th tonight so I stop acting so goddamn crazy
“We had to Fully conceded to OUR Innermost selves that we were alcoholic. This is the first step in recovery”
This is the important part. Everything else will fall into place.
Most all of us had/have people all around us that know we are alcoholic. Even if the don’t know the extent of it. They still know. So they will also see the difference in us getting better. Us getting better isn’t a bad thing.
If you feel you need to keep the meetings a secret for now, then do that. As long as you are going to the meetings is all that matters.
Early in I got real with a few close friends and family members, then recently my (sober) father. I’m generally open that I’m done drinking, period. Really though, trusting my program, it’s been between me, my group(s), and my HP so far, too. Of course, I don’t have a spouse in the picture.
If you’re down with the steps, I was told by a timer months ago what more to do would be clearer when I got to the 9th with my sponsor. To definitely not get ahead of myself (the guys’ comments above). That until then to trust working my program would say enough.
All I can say is I’m just starting my 9th and she was right on all counts. Since you mention hitting meetings, guess my tough love suggestion would be, “Get your ass a sponsor.” Mine’s showing me the steps and it’s workin’ for me.
I need a sponsor. So far I’ve only made one friend/contact. She has 3 months. My impression is she’s going to meetings to present well in court for a DUI. Who knows tho. I’ve been to 3 different meeting locations so far. I presume a sponsor is from your home group. I don’t know if that’s the right jargon. I don’t have a home group yet.
