Trying to hide alcohol in a marriage #2

[Rebecca80]

I told my husband about my drinking problem, I even told him about this app and how it’s been uplifting to know I’m not the only one dealing with addiction. Recap: my husband cheated on me and I turned to alcohol to hide my pain. I was hiding my addiction from him. I told him about how insecure I felt and hurt by his actions so I turned to alcohol. He’s been understanding but I want to be sober and not think about alcohol. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy as I can to not think about the devil’s juice. That’s what I call it, it’s literally ruining my life.

I guess my question is, should I get counseling alone for my addiction or should we seek counseling together as husband and wife or both???

[Desire2ChangeToday]

@Rebecca80

should I get counseling alone for my addiction or should we seek counseling together as husband and wife or both???

Both.

Good job being real with yourself and your partner.

[Cjp]

I think both would be a good idea

[SinceIAwoke]

Do what it takes to stay sober. With or without your husband, sober you is better able to deal with any circumstance.

Here’s what works for other people on the forum:

2 years sober and what helped me to get there:

2 days ago I celebrated my 2 years sober again. Again, because years ago I had a long stretch of sober days too but relapsed after 5 years. My doc is alcohol. I started to drink when I was 16 year or so and it increased in my student days. I noticed I had a problem around the aged of 30 I guess. Tried to quit multiple times but couldn’t get more then 30 days sober Decided to give myself an ultimatum: 1 year. 1 year to get sober myself otherwise I would go to see my doctor and ask fo…

Resources for our recovery

There are so many helpful resources available to us on our sober journeys. I wanted to share this list for those who are interested in non traditional resources. Please note: I created this with alcohol recovery in mind and it is U.S. based as well. As a straight white past middle age woman, it is based on what resonated and helped me in my journey. Over time, I have added in resources for some other addictions (found at the end of this post), but it is heavy with resources for alcohol recovery…

[Runningfree]

I agree with both.

[DylanL]

If you do both, I would work on the relationship separate from addiction. Obviously there will be some crossover, but could end up a scapegoat for relationship problems due to addiction. Sounds like couples therapy would have its own things to focus on.

If all you are talking about is your addiction it could be overwhelming. That’s just my opinion.

[Rebecca80]

Thx everyone for the kind words! I truly love this community and all the encouragement given. Have a sober night!

[Jess427]

This is a lot like me 2 years ago, I found messages my husband had sent to a girl at work, I was broken and I turned to alcohol to numb my pain, it very quickly escalated , it happened right before lock down and during lock down I drank earlier and started hiding drink, it carried on and got worse and worse, I started therapy in January, and started to quit drinking, Iv had several relapses each being absolutely awful, I joined AA in Feb and recently got a sponsor which I’m finding more helpful than the therapy, we never tried couples counselling but wish I had , now what he did seems a distant memory that people have forgotten about and all focus is on me not drinking and going off the rails again. I have a lot of anger, sadness and resentment, which is what working thru the steps with a sponsor helps with. I’m all out of options here now so just hoping this helps! I’m better than I was but the hurt is still there just along with a load of shame and guilt now from my drinking