Trying to not be a dry drunk again

Hi all. I’m back on day one again. Super annoyed with myself. Basically I’m highly functioning enough that I continue to treat this like it’s possible for me to social drink, even though when i socially drink it’s more than anyone else and I have to continue it when I go home. The last two weeks have been an absurd amount of alcohol nightly, but I still kill it at work and home the next day so i tell myself it’s fine.
I’ve done stretches of 30 or 40 days before, but I’m afraid they’ve been the same way I’ve done health challenges, just ticking off the days and waiting for the goal to arrive.
Any advice, books, podcasts, rain dances, whatever you would recommend to get early recovery off on the right foot?


Maybe try a meeting wish you well


The only suggestion I can recommend is getting to the root of your problem. Take a critical look in the mirror and ask yourself
“why do you drink in excess?”
“Do i take pride in being a high functioning alcoholic?”
“What are the pros and cons of drinking?”
" What are the pros and cons of sobriety?"

These are just a few of the questions I asked myself before and after a lot of contemplation and time I was able to visually see that my acting out and drinking/drug use was due to issues i had yet to address. Upon addressing said issues sobriety became the way I chose to live my life.
I hope you are able to stop drinking if that is truly what you want to do.

I believe in you, now it’s time to believe in yourself.


You need to make changes. I think it was Albert Einstein who said “ the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. “ start off small. As simple as changing your routine during the day. What is it that you do after work to get yourself set up to drink? Don’t hit the liquor store and avoid them on your route home. Avoid bars as well. Fill that time when you would start drinking with attending your first A.A. meeting. Write on this forum when you feel those cravings arrive. They last between 2-5 minutes so if you can get through those first few minutes, you can take a deep breath and feel better. Do your research. Change your environment. Begin somewhere. You can do this, you just have to have the will to. Let me be your inspiration: I am 28 years old with liver cirrhosis. I’m on a transplant list. I drank every single day in and out since 18. 2 months ago, I felt what it was like to be sober for the first time since I was 18. I was literally drunk for ten years. It was the best feeling ever to see clearly. Now I pay the consequences but I can telll you i will never trade this feeling of seeing life through clear eyes for another drink ever again. Best of luck to you


Great response! I love seeing people who actually put thought and time into what they are saying and try and relate on a personal answer instead of just a generic response. We’re all in this together :heart:


I was just like you, high functioning, acing my nursing job managing a whole medical unit as well as running the family home all whilst I drank copious amounts of alcohol every night. I knew my drinking was problematic but I had all manner of excuses to justify it. It was the anxiety about the fact that the inevitable WOULD happen to me that made me want to stop, even if I could “function highly” my liver and health would not stand it forever and I would die early leaving my kids motherless all due to alcohol. When I decided it was time to stop I tried to quit alone countless times and realised I couldn’t do it.
This time I went all out even though at the beginning I still kept telling myself I wasn’t like those alcoholics that need help (I am)
What I did was:

  • went to my Gp told him everything and asked for antibuse
  • found a one to one addiction counsellor who I saw weekly
  • enrolled with my local alcohol services for keyworker support and groups
  • told my family my goal and made myself accountable to them
  • read anything and everything I could get my hands on about addiction
  • committed to visiting here everyday to read and contribute

It might sound like a lot, maybe even I thought it was excessive to start with (now I know it wasn’t) but I was willing to do anything to not die a drunk and I knew that that was the only outcome if I carried on. I realise now that yes I was acing my job but my parenting was left wanting, I didn’t see what I wasn’t doing at home, I wouldn’t change the relationship I have with my kids now for the world.
Try anything and everything that’s on offer until you find what makes it stick for you, you have a fantastic life waiting for you, grab it with both hands


Many of us on this site were “high functioning” in our addictions, maintaining employment and often excelling at it, achieving advanced degrees, getting promoted, etc. And because of that, I was convinced for a long time that I didn’t have a drinking problem. But I knew I did. I thought about alcohol too much and because of a hundred reasons that made it obvious to me I had a problem, even if it wasn’t always obvious to others (though it often was).

I had to decide I was done for good for sobriety to work for me. Moderation is a joke and a game that I attempted for many unsuccessful years–sure I could do it for a while until I went over the top again–which is what I wanted to do anyway. Once I decided I was done, I was.

For me it’s the mindset. Done is done. I don’t flirt with the idea of potentially drinking one day again because I know I can’t. No first drink. No sips. No alcohol. Period. And once I stopped, I began to find other ways to spend my time that didn’t cripple me the day after. I stopped spending my time in bars and I stopped hanging with people who drink just to get smashed-- like I used to do. I don’t put myself in situations that might tempt or test me. It doesn’t make sense. And I no longer have any desire to be back in those places, making those old mistakes, pickling myself and moving nowhere.

I have more energy than I ever did when I was drinking. I’m healthier and happier. My friendships are stronger now that I don’t start asshole fights because I’m shitfaced. I don’t forget what people tell me anymore. I developed a lifestyle that is much more fulfilling for me than my bar life used to be. At four years and 8 months, I feel good.

I think you need to decide what your goal is. My experience is that moderation is a fiction.


I suggest Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. Start with the Dr’s. Opinion. Read every page through how it works. You can find it at . I also recommend listening to joe and Charlie Big Book Study. You can find that at I hope this helps!!


As my boss says, don’t get efforts confused with results. Not drinking is not the same as recovery.

Before, it sounds like you just stopped drinking, ticking those days off, waiting for the day when you’re “better”. Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. Getting better requires a lot of work.

Ultimately, what will do the job is AA or SMART recovery.

How to get to the point that you’re ready? Try a meeting. Maybe you’re ready now.

Also, podcasts are a good source of information, High Sobriety, Recovery Elevator are the 2 I listen to.

As far as books, Alan Carr and Nancy Grace has books on the topic.


Here’s a generic response that has worked for me and millions of others. Go to AA, get a sponsor, work the steps, obtain a life beyond your wildest dreams.

If you think you are high functioning now, imagine what you can do when you aren’t drinking. The reason so many people give generic responses is bc recovery is pretty simple. Easy? No. Simple? You bet. Hard work and perseverance. Follow the suggestions of people who have gotten and stayed sober.


Can’t really say more than what other people have. And probably better than I could.
All I will say is be willing to try anything.
Absolutely anything!
Stop making excuses, admit to yourself your not in control,which in turn will make you realise that you are not unique. But remember that you are not alone.


Hey, way to get back at it! :+1:

I can relate to that. I cringe now at “functional.” There are people/things that work and those that work well. In the end, I was not the latter.

The thing about still performing at work is it can become mechanical. I could still do certain things because I’d done them so often they were muscle memory. Given enough time even those started to suffer.

What changed for me was realizing the motions became devoid of any meaning outside of what they offered me. I’d get up, do the deal, tend to the house, then embrace the blackout. I had very subtle but powerful fears of contributing to anything more.

From this forum and the rooms of AA I quickly woke up to where that was going and what I could have back if I just shook off the drink and started living to live again. I tried whatever I saw working for other people who’d been where I’d been.

Still not always sure where life’s going, but today the momentum has completely shifted and the prospects are much brighter than they were this time last year!


Youre in the uk right? Do you drive? And if so did you tell the DVLA about going to the gp for help with drinking?

Sorry for the barrage of questions! Someone told me that you have to tell the dvla if you have an official medically recignised drinking problem and thats made me v hesitant about going to the docs

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Tbh my Gp wasn’t sure of the guidelines himself, he gave me the number of Alcohol Services (you have to refer yourself so they know you are serious and not being made to go, you have to attend there if you want medication before the Gp can prescribe it so I needed to go) They told me that they would notify the DVLA themselves if they felt someone was a danger to themselves or anyone else when it came to driving. They told me they didn’t perceive me as someone who would put others at risk so they didn’t notify them, they said they would leave it to me to notify them if I decided I wanted to, I didn’t (I’m not necessarily recommending this) but I was pretty certain there was no chance of me drinking again. The DVLA guideline is that anyone receiving treatment for alcohol abuse should be recorded with them and abstain from driving for the first six months of treatment, if after six months you are clean your free to drive. If you were caught driving drunk in this time you would be prosecuted and lose your licence (but you would anyway regardless)
I decided not tell them and the six months is now over for me. It’s most likely that you would be told that it is your responsibility to inform them, which is also what the DVLA says, I found both the GP and Alcohol Services were very realistic about it and will only want to help you

Thank you so much for all the info!

I just thought another reason the DVLA asks you to notify them is not just safety but also the fact your insurance would be invalid if you were involved in an accident whilst drunk. If it was serious enough your insurance company could contact your GP and refuse to pay out if you were drunk and in treatment you had not declared. This would leave anyone involved in an accident with you at a disadvantage, tbh though most insurances would refuse to pay out if you were drunk anyway so I decided to take responsibility for myself that I’d never driven drunk before and wouldn’t be doing so in the future. I’m pretty sure it would be left up to you to weigh up what you want to do (I know my way wasn’t “technically” correct but it worked out for me)

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Ive never once driven drunk so cant imagine Id just randomly start doing so now ive quit drinking :grin:

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No I can’t imagine that! :blush: sorry if that sounded like I was saying you might, it wasn’t meant to come across like that!

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Oh no i didnt think that at all! Im really thankful for you taking the time!

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I read from another person on a separate thread to read Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Drinking.
I went this route because I’m not a meeting type of person. I’m kind of stubborn and know if I have the guidance from a book I read and reread on my own time, no longer lie to my family and myself, and replace the drinking with hiking, yoga, boxing… anything, it can work for you.
But it’s all about your personality type. You might like AA or a therapist.
Honestly, you’re starting fresh. You CAN do this. :+1:t2::grin: