Anyone else have unavoidable triggers such as PMDD, multiple children fighting, toddler screaming throwing things, kids with stimming etc that they have learned other ways to cope with?? I am 8 days and STRUGGLING BAD right now.
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Thank you, I am trying so hard!
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That’s a sucky situation. Drinking / using will only make it worse. Still - it’s a sucky situation. 
There’s a simple rule I find helpful at tough times: you’re allowed to do anything that’s safe and legal, to stay sober:
- Pizza for dinner three nights in a row? Absolutely.
- Movies / Netflix? No problem.
- Calling a friend or a sober contact out of the blue? Ok.
- Cancelling or changing plans that are stretching you too far or stressing you? Absolutely - absoluuutely.
You can do anything that is safe and legal, to stay sober. That’s the first step; everything else flows from that.
The kids won’t kill each other. They’re looking for attention likely; offer some praise (even for the most mundane thing, like being home and safe) and gradually they’ll learn there are positive ways for them to get attention.
For yourself, keep checking in here and find a virtual meeting to attend if you can - it’s one way of “getting out of the house” for a bit.
It’s a sucky situation, I know.
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Its a tough one to deal with i have 5, and theyd drive me up the walls sometimes but i love them to death. I learned i dont need anyone to drive me mad or crazy or trigger me Im standing on my panic button i already am nuts. Just as time goes on and i get further in my recovery i can deal with things better patients is a virtue, not just with them but mainly with myself. Alot of patients and understanding and a whole lot of love will get you through some tough times. Take it easy and just do your best with things.
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i wish u well
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Wow, thank you, Matt. This is really helpful advice! I truly appreciate it and will heed it 
very insightful, thanks again. 
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Take care Hannah. It takes courage to reach out and ask for help. You have courage; you are moving forward
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What 5!? That’s a handful. Sometimes I feel like my 3 are the equivalent of an army lol. Lots of neurodiversity over this way. I do love them a lot just seem to have trouble with getting easily triggered. I don’t have the greatest support system…no on will take them over night etc, so I’m basically just skating along trying to do self care when I can to maintain a little sanity. 
I feel you thanks for making me see I’m not alone.
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Yes I relate. I had a pillow I would go and scream into! And put the kids in the pram, on the scooters, bikes etc and run. Great for them burning off energy too. Getting everyone outside really helped. And making sure that once they were in bed, I did something for ME - bath with candles, punch boxing bag, meditate…
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That’s awesome but my oldest is disabled and she cannot physically do anything without me helping but also the 2 yr old is that way too needs lots of assistance still obviously so it’s like kind of a train wreck nightmare to even leave the house half the time. My daughter hates going and doing things. I would love to just be able to send them to go play out side take them for walks etc but it’s not always possible. When my fiance is around we try to do more but he works 7 days a week it’s a unique and sometimes unfortunate situation over here…
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Even bought her a 1400 dollar adaptive bike but she cannot steer it.
Ahhh I’m sorry, that does sound challenging. Is there any respite care you can access? Here in Australia we have NDIS and as 2 of my children are ASD (as well some other diagnosis’s) we are able to access support/funding for peer & support workers to come in and assist with the kids. Do you have anything similar you are able to try and access? Sending hugs of strength, patience and resilience x
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I’ve looked into it but there isn’t anything locally. I live in a small town rural area. I will look into more. Thanks for the ideas and for being understanding.
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No problem, I hope you can find some support for you all. It isn’t easy but staying sober is worth it. Trust me, it makes you a present Mum who can more effectively handle all these challenges.
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Yes I agree I’m starting to see how much better it is and I’ve wanted it for a while so I’m happy to be sober just starting to gain more clarity on why I was coping this way and realizing some things need to shift and change and having trouble figuring it out but you’re so right I need to see if there are any services available and I think going back to school will help us all. America doesn’t have as good of services for disabilities as some other countries unfortunately.
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I live in Australia but am from the US. We are not allowed to travel out of the country…and even if we could…getting back in is near impossible. I miss my US family very mich. We have regular lockdowns that don’t work. Loss of freedoms, etc.
I also have a mental health condition too.
But in my experience…time and again…any excuse can be found to open a bottle and have a drink but booze literally does not help improve any excuse you come up with. It’s just a waste of money, health and life. In fact, over time it just makes things worse.
I thank God I don’t do drugs anymore or smoke. I am 1 day sober after relapse. But it’s a start. Hang in there…and prayer helps too.
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Yes you make a good point. Just staying in the mindset that a temporary escape is not worth the price of addiction.
You will find as you work your sobriety (one day at a time - always one day at a time) that the chaos of your life will reduce. Eventually it will reduce very significantly. Addiction and chaos go hand in hand - always. When you get sober, for many of us it’s the first time we realize life doesn’t have to be chaos.