Man, I hit 15 days without booze and it was seemingly simple. I mean, the first six were hell on earth but after that the days were rife with self-love and accomplishment.
It was temporary, slowly I could feel that conscious abstinace settling into boredome and monotony.
Relapse was also as simple, a whim and an action. It was like a familair force demanded me to drink and i willingly ignored the voice to refrain.
I suppose I was willing at the end of the day. I am a man bound by this bullshit. When it is easy and invisible, it’s hard to track. However, after all this work I can confidently say that when it is evident that I am ready for it.
I am trying to work on the hushed part of addiction. The kind that sneaks up on you in the evening. The kind that whispers when you’re sober and happy.
I know our journeys are all different, but I’d love to hear opinions on how you deal with the quiet part of addiction.
Oh I get that voice all the time, my key is to instantly shut it down. Don’t engage with it, don’t have a conversation with it because it’ll work every single angle to find a chink in your armour. Don’t even give it a second of your time. Notice the thought, then slap it down. The answer is no.
No. Because I’m committed, I’m not a drinker, I’m prepared to put in the work. My life, my body my soul is better without alcohol.
You’re probably going to have to shut it down a lot at first, and it will find new angles to work. (Mine especially likes the “your a loser” approach. Or the “just this once”). But it will get less and less frequent, less and less strong.
I’ve managed to replace drinking with amazing hobbies and so now it’s out of the question to go back into the bottle, although the fear is still there. I try to stay vigilant against the voice and still use every time it pipes up a chance to remind myself of how much life has improved.
Accountability requires more than just myself. I have to have a group of people who matter to me, and I matter to them, so I want to check in with them, multiple times a day, as often as I need to.
Sober groups are one way to do this (see these Resources for our recovery), and adding Talking Sober on top of this helps. Use the checkin thread.
Online groups are helpful too. There’s one just about any time, 24 hours a day. Plan to attend it at those tricky times so you stay safe. Online meeting resources
Sobriety - health - is about more than just not drinking. Being in recovery and making progress and staying grounded requires more than just not drinking. It requires you to learn and practice new ways of living, one day at a time.
I work on the quiet part of addiction by making it loud, talking about it with other people in recovery. I don’t stand a very good chance if it’s me vs my addiction 1 on 1. I need help, we all need help to beat this.
Ive got a good defence in place , i fill my evenings when i go to a meeting and meet old and new sober friends , maybe try a meeting might help you wish you well