I know it is hard to have a partner who is still drinking and or using. It adds more complexity, but does not make sobriety impossible. However, if they are hiding or lying to you, that is another issue altogether. Gstting your self sober needs to be your priority, not what they are or aren’t doing. I know that can feel very difficult, but it can be done. Are you able or interested in meetings? That would get you out of the house for a bit and get you into a positive healing community (hopefully). Also, are you able to get time and space to yourself at home? I took A LOT of time away in a separate room in my early sobriety…spent tons of time reading, sleeping, journaling on my own away from my husband drinking. Or I went out for walks or soaked in the tub or went bicycling or to fitness or yoga classes (back when we could). I know it is more problematic now.
One of the most important things I had to really understand was that getting sober was 100% MY responsibility … it doesn’t matter who is drinking or what is happening around me…my sobriety is my issue. Keeping the focus on me helped a lot.
I will include a link to some other threads about partners who drink. Maybe you can find some comfort or inspiration there as well. Please know you are not alone and you can do this!! 