AA doesn’t fit me… i went to one in rehab but it was… just not something i can get behind. Not to mention the success rate is 3%. You would think, with how long its existed, they would have improved that…
Inpatient rehab meetings generally aren’t the best.
As for statistics they are almost impossible to gauge in any type of recovery program. By nature it’s anonymous so gathering any type of information is spotty at best and generally incorrect. There’s a reason AA is still the most common program in the world. There’s a reason doctors, rehabs and outpatient still recommend it.
I go to meetings with quite a few people over 40 years sober. I still go to meetings after almost 5 years because I enjoy them.
I’d say give it an honest shot on the outside before you pass judgment.
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SMART Recovery may be more your style then:
They have online meetings too; if you search “SMART meetings online” or something similar you’ll find it.
Take care and don’t give up. One day at a time. That human connection is so helpful 
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It’s less to do with the people than the message. I can and will never accept the higher power thing. I am in control of my life. Period. To put it on something else ansolves me of guilt and responsibility. That just doesn’t fit my personality. To each their own, you know. Thanks though, for sticking up for something that works for you.
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That’s a difficult position to defend. You’re not wrong that a higher power, a source of emotional and mental integration is the core of the AA program. It’s also at the heart of all other organizing principles that we humans have come up with. Religions, sports teams, political parties, the pursuit of profit, altruism, they all depend on the fact that people need to be in relation to each other in order to become stronger, more powerful than the individual alone. We need to belong together. We need to fit into a vastly larger pattern.
I am responsible for my reactions to situations. I am responsible for my actions and my thoughts. Spirituality (not religious dogma) is as much a part of my makeup and yours as is our temperament or our optimism. And very often it is that part of ourselves that we sever with addiction.
AA and the other group based treatments provide the addict with an organizing set of principles that promote sobriety. And all these groups were founded by people, individuals just as flawed as us. There is no need to accept every tenet without critical thought.
I know you will find your own way, we all do or we die.
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So what you’re literally saying is that a higher power is nothing more (or less) than the organising principle that facilitates the need for people to belong to each other. I agree with that 100%. It’s the main lesson I learned from my time in AA/NA, while still not feeling at home in either organisation, for a myriad of reasons, and finding other help in my recovery since.
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My anchor, my grounding is in knowing my success or failure is all on me. If i fail, it’s not because I’m a woman or not rail thin, or because people are mean. Its all due to my actions or inaction. My husband does have some influence and contribution to my success or failure, but ultimately, it’s all up to me. Owning that keeps me grounded.
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I agree, that’s the same for me. I choose to go to a source of power outside myself to get the strength to make the right actions. Kinda like going to the bank for a loan to buy a car that I could not otherwise afford.
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Just an observation based on my own personal experience, but I can say I was definitely not in control of my life. This coming from a retired US Marine, who knows a bit about self-discipline.
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I would tend to agree, for myself also, but that does not mean I don’t need help along the way. We aren’t hermits, we don’t live in complete isolation off the grid. I admit when I need help and have learned to seek it - I spent too much time not admitting to myself or others that I couldn’t do it alone. Ultimately, though, it’s on me to follow through and continue to find a new way of living without relying on substances. That requires me to continue putting work in relationships that are healthy and helpful to me. Figuring out how to live with a partner who drinks “normally” and brews his own beer also.
I’ve quietly read your thread and I wish you the best. I also spent some time in AA during the height of the pandemic and though I found the people of this particular group (and a few others I tried out online and in person) to be so lovely, but it was not the program for me. I even negotiated the idea of a higher power to be community, to be relationships with others who support and love me, and to nature and environment. But ultimately I found that putting my attention on my mental health, seeking therapy, and sharing more of my struggles with my friends and family to be the biggest help to me.
You do you. The most important thing is to find what works for you. I’m glad you’ve come here to share.
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All my cars are paid off. Wish my house was though. Lol
What Rosa said… you do you. Find what works and grow it as needed. Your personal belief system is your own. Glad you are here and sharing your experience.
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Thanks. Im pretty proud of myself, not one drink, not one slip up after what was an undeniably stressful event. But in staying vigilant, visiting here regularly for my daily dose of humble pie, and focusing on my self worth. I have found, both in the past and recently… the best way to help yourself is to help others. I’m stopping up at home, giving more when tipping, offering help where i can… its selfish, because I’m doing it to feel better about myself… but they people im helping stunt care why, i imagine. Baby steps. But in doing what i can
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