Hi, this is just a quick post to settle an argument between myself and someone else. They are of the mind that if you’re sober, and someone accuses you of using and they accuse you of lying about it too, that this isn’t going to trigger you into using or put you into the mindset of “F*** IT, I may as well use since they think I am anyway”. I know I’ve done this, so if I could just get a quick comment of something like “me” or “I have” or “me too” from anyone that’s done this as well, it would really help shed some light on addiction to an un addicted person. Thanks.
Addicts will use any number of excuses to fall back into their addictions. We can be triggered by anything and everything. The only way to beat our addictions is to do it for ourselves, not anyone else.
It’s not my business what anyone else thinks about me, and I don’t need to let it affect my sobriety. I’m not saying this is easy - it’s not AT ALL - but getting sober is about me, not them. Pointing the finger at someone else for one’s desire to use is an excuse.
I think all of us have used things like this (and many other things) to justify or excuse our behaviour, to ourselves and others.
At the end of the day, if you don’t use you are sober. If you use, you aren’t. Being sober doesn’t mean never getting cravings or urges (or ‘reasons’ to use), it means learning how to let them pass instead of acting on them.
The difference between a person with long term sobriety and a person that relapses…we found healthy ways to deal with the crap life throws at us. People will talk, there will be bad days. Alcohol solves nothing.
I have done this many many times in the past,if it happened now I’ve got some clean time and it has no I wouldn’t go and pick up I’d see it as the other person maybe having some hangup over you being clean maybe.its on the person saying it don’t allow it to become your problem
All of us are learning how to be detached from opinions of others. For me the opinion that matters are the ones that come from people who really love me and are few
Should have clarified that it isn’t how I handle things now, but it has been in the past. My mother and I were having an argument about the mindset and mentality of an Addicted individual. Sorry for not clarifying.
That’s still happening today, It’s years ago since I stopped using drugs but a lot of people still sees me as a junkie and some of my old friends and at least two of my exes is trying to hold that against me,and accusing me of still being into it. I know they’ve got nothing so today it doesn’t affect me at all. But it used to. Nowdays I guess I’m older and got myself a little more of an attitude that makes me not care about it. As long as I know and my closest family knows I’m clean that’s all that matters.
My alcoholic mind will use any justification that it can to try and convince me that it’s ok to drink. It’s my job to remind myself why it’s not. Nobody is worth throwing my sobriety. No matter what they say or think about me. That’s an emotional choice that I had to make.
Yes, that was the phrase I was going for! Couldn’t remember the order of it but I guess I got the point across just the same.
Thank you for your positive comments, they were lovely to wake up to
Imo, triggers are the addicts responsibility to handle and work through. If that’s not possible in the beginning, professional help might be necessary (rehab, therapist).
The non-addict is most likely suspicious about the recovering addicts behavior because for some reason it’s starting to become similar to that of when they were in active addiction… Which means the recovering addict was already on their journey to relapse well before they took any drugs… Making the non addicts accusations pretty accurate.
And if that’s not it at all, and the non addict is just really paranoid from all the trauma the active addict put them through and that’s all it is… Get some test kits and they can set up some kind of testing agreement until trust is gained.
