Using buddies or "friends"

Life in Recovery
1

I understand we lose our drinking and using buddies when we get sober, which I can honestly care less about. But the people that we call our friends our “brother and sisters” ride or die homies. Whatever the label was, but it didn’t really hit me until I found out on snap chat that a using buddy had passed. We weren’t the best of friends but I would have like to go to his wake. Nobody told me about the services. It was yesterday. Not even my closest “brother” he won’t even answer the phone now. That honestly hurts a bit more than the guy passing. But I’m okay with it I can’t change other people. I have to accept these things in life. This quote has never been more true. I can honestly say I have 1 friend outside the rooms of AA and NA now that I’m sober. I have known him for almost 20 years and I get some of the most support for my recovery from him.

cc17dee4b6996a11cf03589c7e9ab7da.jpg640x569 72.5 KB

15 Likes
3

I didn’t have to change out my friends out. They changed out themselves when I quit. It is sometimes unpleasant, but those changes are required or us to get and stay sober.

I know it sounds harsh, but I answer for me. I can’t say, “Well.my friend ‘so-and-so’ did this.” I am responsible.

Best,
Chandler

3 Likes
4

Like @Oliverjava said…it has more to do with them, they may feel we’ll judge or be on some kind of sobriety pedestal. It does hurt at first but the true and loyal friends will show themselves. It’s like a “cleaning house” that happens naturally.

3 Likes
5

It might be a blessing when people dont want to hang with us because I find myself too tempted when I HAVE hung out with them and thats not healthy for us at all.

6

Im sorry to hear about your friends passing.

8

@Enaps, So sorry about your lost they are hard to have in life but yet a fact. The lost of living friends is exactly what I was talking about a few weeks a go. Where did they all go? Are our so call friends, so pathetic that they can only hang out when we have something to give, but then when we need them in our lives, they have nothing in return. Well one thing for sure a true sober friend, is a true friend. And I am here to offer you a real friendship 🤗.As I believe sobriety brings you.:heart::+1: we are all a lot better off sober and clean and together.

2 Likes