Good idea! Your doing great i hope you know that 
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to be honest, i still want to tattoo the last quote on my ex’s forehead 
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thank you 
i’m heartfelt grateful that i’m thriving and living my best life after years working hard on making this emotionally possible.
i guess a certain big dog played a major role in achieving the status “happy as can be” 
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Im glad your finding your happy place because you so deserve to, he is just amazing….there’s something very special about the absolute unconditional love that a dog can give you…its pure and authentic…im a huge believer in the fact that they come to you when you need them to for a reason 
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Me too 
I’m sure we found each other.
I’m also sure he would still be at the shelter because of the awful aggressive social behaviour he had.
He needs stability, love, strict boundaries to rely on and he wants me to trust him (which must be earned by appropriate behaviour), he wants to learn how to connect (there’s a world between back then and now), he feels safe now and can be his lovely, wonderful self.
I am still learning a lot, taking responsibility of such a big dog who is not safe with others was a big decision, made by my heart in the second we met for the first time. It’s wonderful that the love I have to give and that had nowhere to go since the breakup found someone who appreciates it and gives back so much
In fact, the dog is far more willing to work on himself than my ex 
Sorry, now I totally derailed your thread 
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No you didnt, im happy for people to share on my thread especially when its about love to and from an animal, im a real animal lover and dogs especially that need and give love i need to hear about
He’s wonderful just like you and im so glad you found each other xx
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Given what ive told you guys …will you tell me what you think of this exchange today with my mother…
I have for the past few months put boundries in place where i have asked my mother to text ahead of time if she wants to come to my house…
Ive just been away with my partner and daughter to visit his parents for easter which was lovely, was only for 4 nights so i expected my mother would want to call today but nothing had been pre arranged…i got up early with Adam(my partner) to fix his breakfast and lunch to take as hes at work today and im still off and then i went back to bed for a while, when i woke up i had 3 missed calls from my mother…i text her to say id been back to bed…she asked if she could call and i asked when? Her reply was ‘NOW’ i said ok then i heard her come in, i was in the bathroom so i shouted down i wouldnt be a minute and asked in a laughing voice what was the big rush? Well il just go if its not convenient! She says…i come downstairs and see that her face is like thunder…whats the matter is asked? NOTHING! I said ok shall i pop the kettle on? Well only if its convenient for you because i can just go otherwise!! I said your welcome to stay but if your going to continue to be like that then maybe you should go…she stormed off out of my house and slammed the door…
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I can only assume her main character syndrome is kicking her fanny and she’s resentful.
Resentful perhaps you spent time away, resentful it was with Adam’s family, resentful you didn’t prioritise her with your annual leave, resentful that even after you went and chose to spend your annual leave with another family you weren’t awake and ready to meet and greet her. Your boundaries with her probably rattle in her head as insulting when you actively choose to spend four days away with HIS family. How dare you… She’s the MAIN CHARACTER yet you are treating her like shit and dismissing her as an extra.
Please read my sardonic tone hun, I do not need you to justify one second of your choices, they were perfect. Just not pandering enough to the queen of your attention and love… What a sad situation, and I hear you. I’ve experienced the same vitriol and aggression from my mother surrounding her imagined scenarios which drove resentment and envy and jealousy.
The thing is you can’t change her perception either, the main character is always right and lives in this ivory tower of importance and entitlement. You can’t fight these constructed views she creates, only a therapist could. It’s not even your job to bend over for her or ease her low self esteem.
I’m sorry you experienced this.
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Thank you so much @Tragicfarinelli you always make me feel so much better, thank you for seeing and hearing me, you are absolutely right, i know shes resentful that im not at her beck and call anymore that i prioritise others, what she doesnt seem to understand is that if she were a nicer person i may want to spend time with her xx
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I actually belly laughed at this 
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This is the saddest part. The discomfort at seeing them is often more painful than the loss of not having them. You can lead a horse to water, but not make it drink… 
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Thats exactly it…it really is sad, i know shes in pain because of my boundaries but i either constantly get hurt by her or i hold her at arms length, i cant really win
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You win by choosing yourself and your sanity 
Sad as it is we can’t change such people.
And sorry not sorry, my overly creative brain created pictures in my head of an adult throwing a tantrum like a misplaced drama queen, hopping around like Rapunzel with fuming ears
Hugs to you, keep up your boundaries
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Thank you, yes it was very much like that, really quite pathetic to be honest a grown woman behaving like that, im back to wanting nothing to do with her, im angry…id had such a lovely weekend away and then literally the next morning im back she pulls that on me, i shouldnt talk about my mother like this but i think shes an idiot and if the cap fits…
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if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, behaves like a duck and looks like a duck … it probably IS a duck
It’s absolutely ok to name things as they are. I’m no friend of colouring bullshit in glitter and call it sparkling brown despite the 
.
Not near your situation, but I long ago had a bestie who would behave similar, thinking she had exclusive rights on my freetime and show up whenever she wanted. I stopped this intrusive behaviour in the harsh manner of my early 20s: I told her she is an enervating dramaqueen and I’m gonna see her again when she is finished with her “I’m 4 and everything is about me, I’m glorious, genius and irresistible” phase. You are mid 20, annoying and get your shit together honey, I love you but you suck. Well, she didn’t speak to me for I think a year plus and then it was ok. We lost contact after we graduated from university but I still like her. Life is weird and so are people.
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I love that lol, i have a friend very similar but we both get to call each other out sometimes then be fine straight after the apologies are done lol, see im not perfect either, none of us are but my mother seems to think its ok to never apologise to anyone for anything and certainly not to me, im tired of it, really tired…this last fiasco is apparently my fault too
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No, no, no, your house, your life, your rules!
If she wants to be on good terms, she better respects your boundaries. It’s her responsibility how she acts and communicates and she has to face the consequences. I wouldn’t tolerate snappy passive-aggressive behaviour in my home.
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Here, here! If she hadnt left she would have happily had me make her a cup of tea and continued being snarky and difficult throughout her visit, before i would have put up with it believing it was somehow my fault but not now i dont care if she is my mother im not putting up with it anymore so now its the silence which will most likely continue on until i need her to collect my daughter from school the once in a fortnight i need her to, i wish i didnt need her for anything at all but at the end of the day she is her grandmother…
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You’re absolutely right even though she is your mother that doesn’t give her a right to treat you in a way that you wouldn’t accept from anyone else! 
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Ive woke up feeling really quite upset about this today 
Why would your own mother treat you like this? Even my 9 year old who heard it all the other day said to me…but mum…your her child…she shouldnt be talking to you like that!
I dont understand 
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