Want to find me underneath it all

I’ve been using marijuana for 17 years. I don’t know myself without it. I’m 3 days in and fighting my feeling and thoughts. Fighting with my partner, we hardly fight in our 7 years of relationship. Ive cried everyday so far. I need so tips or word of encouragement to get me threw this hard thresh hold.


Congratulations on choosing a different path.

I can’t speak to weed addiction, but I can with regards to challenges in relationships as one or two people work towards sobriety.

For me, ‘using’ came with a lot of benefits. It’s not something that people in recovery hear often. My acting out helped me deal with something that I couldnt deal with without it. By the time the drawbacks of using started to show it was too late. I was hooked.

I can imagine weed served some purpose for you in the beginning. It helped you do something you believed you couldn’t do without it. That purpose has long since expired. Now, it simply serves to mask intimacy, vulnerability, and your very presence and awareness in your own life.

As you work through this stuff, and start to rejoin the rest of humanity in reality, things can get real tough. They do level out though, and if you’re consistent about working a program and bettering yourself then things get better than you can imagine.

The advice given to me when I entered 12 step was: Don’t make any major relationship or living changes in the first 1-2 years. Perceptions can change daily.

Again, congratulations and keep coming back.

it’s a strange world out there when suddenly we got a bit of life back into the old soul, I used to wake up and have so many plans until I had my first joint of the morning and then the day just seemed to get away from me and I can do all that shit another time or maybe my dealer was all out yesterday and I’ve woke up to no smoke, now what the fuck am I going to do all day, I know I’ll just sit here and as long as no one speaks to me with their stupid thoughts and start telling me I’m angry bc I ain’t got no weed, who the hell do you think you are talking to me about anything at all. if the world would leave me alone I would be just fine.
This all passes but you gotta be willing to accept your emotions and not be so harsh on yourself or others, be honest and open and let people know when you need some time out bc your about ready to kill someone. Burn off that nervous energy with long walks or exercise, go lay in the bath and breathe deeply. If you smoke weed with nicotine use some lozenges or pouches bc nicotine withdrawal is worse than the drugs imo. And believe it or not there are groups online to help you stop weed. I wish you well on your journey.

If you are willing to admit to your innermost self that you are an addict, there are a bunch of structured programs that can help you. AA is the one that worked for me, but there are also MA and NA programs, SMART Recovery, and Refuge Recovery/Dharma Recovery. There is also a Women For Sobriety that some on Talking Sober have used.
Take a look at this thread, it is chock full of ideas!
Resources for our recovery

Blessings on your house :pray: as you begin your journey.

Yes, I feel like it did help me. But I realized I’m just procrastinating when I’m smoking. Or I’m using it to cloud my feeling and thoughts. I give up to easy and not care when really I should care and do more. My husband thinks I have to many feelings and doesn’t understand I have own metal issue. He says he supports me and we always make up. He smokes still don’t think he’d be able to stop. Be worse off than me. But maybe if I get right I can help him too. Thank you for you reply, really does help.

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Yup wake up smoke and do nothing. Procrastinate like crazy and being carless when I should be doing something productive. I do feel like I just want to be left alone a lot. I started hiking and walking more, helps. Wouldn’t mind getting fit and strong spend my time being healthy not stoned, I appreciate your response.

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