Every time a friend calls me that I usually drink with, I always feel like I have to come up with an excuse to not hang out. Instead of just being honest and telling them I don’t want to drink. I feel like if I tell them that, they will say whatever and keep inviting me. I have been ignoring their phone calls a lot. I just don’t feel like they would understand. Instead they would keep asking me and that would tempt me. I don’t consider them my real friends I consider them acquaintances. What would you all tell them?
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I would tell them that I need to focus more on my health and cannot drink.
Or focusing on my family.
Those would be my reasons, because they’re true.
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Hi! I had been making up excuses for quite a while, because I no longer wanted to hang out with drinking friends. I was still drinking at the time, but I was already pretty much done and fed up of my lifestyle.
When I made the decision to definitely quit, I told my BF and drinking buddy. She didn’t take it well at all! She would basically ignore my part of the message saying that I wanted to quit. She would send me pictures of glasses of wine asking me “if we’d never toast again”.
I finally decided to break contact, because it was becoming stressful. On the one hand I was so determined to make a change, on the other hand my friend made clear to me that she wasn’t going to be supportive.
6 months have passes, unfortunately I relapsed in summer, but I’ve stopped again for good on November 1st. She’s texting me again, last message was a few days ago, wanted to meet and “catch up”. Alcohol is a taboo, no questions about that and about how I’m doing. I didn’t reply.
Basically I think you will have to let go of certain friendships, because they will be an obstacle in your sobriety. Think what’s best for you, and what you really want.
Living a life making up excuses can be very exhausting. I wish you all the best! 
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The old “I’ve got explosive diarrhoea” works a charm every time.
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They totally do stop…
so I’ve heard.
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How long and for what reason do you want to make up excuses?
You already know what to do. This is the only consistent option.
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When I first quit, I messaged a lot of friends that I regularly drink with them and told them I am quitting alcohol for my physical and mental health, that I’m serious about it and that I won’t be attending any events or places where alcohol is served for the first few months. I found being out right honest was the best approach, and has kept me on track. Ain’t no shame in it, and I hit my 60 days last week! Stay strong 
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I tell them, I’m working on a hangover free lifestyle. 
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I have made many attempts at quitting drinking over the last five, six years or so and unfortunately, lost many relationships in the process. I like to say I outgrew those old friendships. People come into our lives for a reason or a season sometimes, but those who truly love us, truly care about our well being and want us to become the very best version of ourselves, they will celebrate alcohol-free us, no excuses required 
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GREAT IDEA! Thank you for that!
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Thank you!
I totally agree! It is definitely toxic.
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Don’t give any excuses, they either accept your choice in sobriety or they don’t. True friends “buddies” won’t judge you in any way you choose how to live your life being sober.
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I have drinker friends, but they don’t give a damn if I drink or not, they’re my friends first, not drinking buddies. If your friends don’t accept that you don’t drink, are they really your friends ? Just asking, I guess it depends on you, and them, and you with them.
My winemaker family was way harder to deal with. I used to pretend I was drinking, even when I wasn’t. Then I told them. They think I’m a alcoholic, I don’t care !
But hey, my main problem was marijuana, not alcohol. I better shup up 
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When I got sober this last time, I didn’t make excuses. I used to say all kinds of things, I’m on a cleanse, doing The Whole 30, I’m on antibiotics, etc. I realized that by making excuses, I was already planning to fail. If I told people I was quitting because I had a problem, and then they saw me drink again, I would be humiliated and a failure.
For close friends, I just said I’m quitting. They obviously already knew I had a problem. For drinking buddies, I just said I’m not drinking anymore. A lot of people were soooo offended. For a while I got a lot of people asking why I don’t drink. Really? It’s more socially acceptable to be a damn lush.
Now people know that I don’t drink and it’s a non issue. Not a single person asks me why anymore. I go to all the things I used to. I even go for “drinks” for business or with friends. I just get Diet Coke. No one ever thinks twice about it.
So, if these are close friends, I would be honest. My friends were more than understanding and very supportive. The drinking buddies ghosted lol. It’s a fast track to finding out who’s worth your friendship. Not the other way around 
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Just say I’m sober Living if he or she is your frie d they will understand and not drink near you stay strong
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In the beginning of my sobriaty I told my friends and family that I wanna live healthier.
When I had more sober days I told my closest friends/family about my drinking problem. It was good to share. They never offer me drinks now 
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Fringe guys - cant tonight
Guys im close with - i dont drink anymore
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Just say you are trying to get healthier.
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Thank you for that. I think you’re right. Today is day 7 for me. I stayed sober all through New Years Eve. I seen your comment after I posted this and as people were texting me and calling me I kept thinking about it 
Are they true friends? They know I’m trying to stay completely away from alcohol. I told them finally. One left me a voicemail about 10:30 PM last night. Asked where I was and said that I could go down where they were and not drink. Well, they were at a bar. Do they really not understand how hard it is to not drink in a bar for me? Apparently not. I want to tell you thank you for posting that comment. It made me think my way through last night and I truly believe it helped me keep sober. Thank you 
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