This is what I’m starting with - it’s so much easier than saying “I have a problem” to clients and associates (who don’t need a full run down of my medical history). I figure after January I’ll just say “I feel so good NOT drinking I might as well continue!” I hope I feel good not drinking by then 
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Probably unpopular opinion: if asked to have a drink, I say I don’t drink. If asked why, I say I’m a recovering alcoholic.
I’m proud that I’m a recovering alcoholic, not many alcoholics are doing what we’re doing, and I’m really proud of what we are doing.
I’ve always thought that if being open about my recovery helps one person, than it’s worth it. I’ve already influenced 2 others two seek sobriety, so it’s totally worth it.
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Love this!
That is awesome!
I am living this right now! I’m having the worst time about it. My friend is my best friend but he does NOT get it. We keep fighting while he has been drinking & I’m sober & it’s just going so bad. I can’t lose him but I’m serious about my sobriety & I’m afraid that I can’t have both.
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In the very beginning I didn’t want to say anything because I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I stopped drinking with the idea I would take a break, not exactly certain how far I was going to go into sobriety. I didn’t want to make big pronouncements to friends and then like an ass find myself drinking with them by the end of the week. So I was fairly stealth in the beginning. As I began to feel a little better and notice my skin looked a bit better and that I didn’t feel like shit all the time anymore, I decided to keep going with the not drinking. At that point I told my drinking buddies and a few scattered. Some were like “oh ok, sure. Next week? Or “all things in moderation, right?” I just kept my head down. When I told my good friends, they were amazingly supportive. They had questions about my experience but they knew why it was good for me to quit. When I went to the rare office party I felt I couldn’t avoid (in the world before COVID) I was pretty clear to tell people that I was sober as I found those were some of the most coercive places: where people I didn’t know well didn’t want to take no for an answer. When I said things like “no thanks, it’s not in my best interest” and told them how many days I had sober, the reasonable people stopped pushing.
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I think it is ok to not share all parts of yourself with everyone. None of my friends or colleagues know the extent of my drinking or my mental health issues. In my opinion “truth is always right” is simplistic. There are many sensitive situations that require nuanced responses, not the bald truth to all, imho.
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IM PREGNANT 
It’s all love family, I’ve dropped the excuses and picked up a purpose. My FRIENDS wouldn’t ask me more than once. Or at all for that matter. Same question you get same answer bruh! lol my no means no. I’m a grown ass man!! Ya know?! Lol trying to grow up!! Let’s get that part clear lol I love you all stay blessed and stay in the good fight.
Positive
Energy
Activates
Constant
Elevation
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Beautiful 
…that part about growing 
Learning, growing, and changing…REFINEMENT. Keep shining and maintaining love. Much respect bgirl out here representing! I see you 
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My friend is my long time party buddy and close friend as well. I didn’t want to lose him either, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that if he was being a good friend he wouldn’t trample all over my boundaries. When I tell him, “I’m staying in tonight, I can’t go out cause I know I’ll drink and I’m trying to be sober” he says “But I never see you” or some version of guilt trippy BS.
That’s not being a good friend, and I know he’s not trying to be malicious but he’s also not trying to support me. Ultimately he has to walk his own path and I have to walk mine, and if those paths lead away from each other then that’s just how it is right now. There’s nothing saying that we can’t hang out once I have a better handle on things, there’s nothing saying he won’t choose to be sober himself one day. But at the moment I can’t be around him and reach my goals.
The phrase I think of over and over is “the people who are mad about your boundaries are the ones who’ve benefited from you having none.”
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great qoute
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Thank you for this. This is exactly how I feel.
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Love that. Thank you 
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Hi, Tigerlilly. How are you? That is a normal feeling. They are your friends and you feel concerned about how or what they are thinking about you. Here are a few things to consider. Most of these I learned from working with a therapist on relationship stuff.
First off, you have no control over how they respond. Only they do. So whatever you say to them is fine as long as you are comfortable with it.
Second, take a temperature reading of how you are feeling when you have these situations or when you think about them after they have happened. Were you thinking about them or yourself? Were you concerned about how they will respond to you? Were you worried that they may not like you or accept you as much?
You are already a great person. You are a beautiful person. Just the way you are. No one can change that unless you allow them to do it. So remind yourself that you are a good, valuable and beautiful person and you have no power over other people and how they feel. Only they have that power just as you only have that power over how you feel.
Finally, to answer your question, I have been in recovery for over 30 years. It is not a big deal for me. It was not when I was new either. I was from the start determined to do whatever it takes to stay not just “sober” but in recovery and happy and satisfied with my life. If something was not satisfying I worked on myself to get that fixed. I worked within myself, not outside of myself by taking drugs or drinking to feel a certain way. I tell them I no longer drink or drug and I prefer to stay out of bars and prefer to avoid being around alcohol. My friends understood, they were fine with my decision. If they were not fine, my remedy was simple: they were no longer my friend.
I always believed I was a likeable guy and I would find other, new friends, and I did. Most of my old friends are still around, but most of them I only contact on Facebook or maybe a chat app like Whatsapp or Google Chat. It has to be that way if you are willing to go to any lengths to get into and stay in recovery and be happy, joyous and free in your new life. Stick with the winners, Tigerlilly. That is the people who have lengthy recovery and know the way. You are a winner, too, Tigerlilly. Because you are trying to stay in recovery and have joy without external help. Grab that bridle, keep your boots in the stirrups and your fanny in the saddle, and hang on. It is a fun ride.
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My excuse is “fuck off, if you don’t agree with me”. I managed to “fuck off” all my “friends”. None of them were true friends anyway. Good riddance.
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