Hey man, thanks for sharing! I’ve got just over 15 months clean and those stupid thoughts have been sneaking in a lot lately. Work has been super stressful and my addict brain gets caught up in it sometimes. My recovery is pretty solid and once I get through the stress I’m good to go, but those moments at work are very trying.
The first time I got clean it wasn’t to stay sober forever. Just like you, it was to “reset.” It was only a few months, but if I hadn’t gone through it and all the bullshit that came with drinking again, I wouldn’t be here with 15 months sober. 3 solid years of hell I will never forget, the stuff I can remember anyway.
Hey there, great post.Today I will be 50 days sober and on this app. Several people on this app has quit and have started again. The was a person that quit for 10 years and also started to drink and quit again. If we all could only take your advise seriously and learn from you. Somehow we still think we can beat this disease after quitting for a while. I guess thats human nature…good luck and keep believing.
@Karci I think you’re 100% on point. And the beauty of it is, your 0mg dose is the real money shot. It’s the feeling of being DEPRIVED that’s making you feel like 10 would make things perfect, but once it sets in that you’re not being deprived of anything, that 0mg dose taste all the sweeter Thanks so much for your reply.
@BcuzimWORTHit Dude … digital fist bump It’s nice for YOU to share to let me know that I’M not alone. A year sobriety is no joke. Also, the humbling effects of knowing that moderation doesn’t exist after a year of sobriety is also no joke. Feels good to not be alone also on this side of the fence.
@LyLyC Wow. I’m speechless. Thank you for sharing – I’m humbled.
@Hope79 Awww, thank YOU Hope I’ll for sure be checking in on this forum in the future, so I’m sure we’ll cross paths and be supportive for each other in the future Thanks so much for the reply.
@Meggers Fifteeen. Months. That’s awesome! And like I hinted at in my original post, I think for us addicts the “hard” way to learn is really our only option. I’m kind of celebrating your 3 years of hell (in a small way) because it’s that experience that makes your current streak of sobriety different. For me, I’ve already been presented the chance of alcohol over 10 times in less than 2 weeks (including tonight for a happy hour), and I’m just so at peace. I’m not having to try hard for anything. My relapse IS WHAT is making this sobriety different. I never wanna go back man. Can’t wait until I’m at 15 months like you Super freakin’ congrats on that.
@Michael4 Aww thanks man, really appreciate the reply
@ChrisR Like I did before, freakin’ digital fist bump I know it in my heart to be true, but it sure does feel good to be validated from a vet like you that my “eureka” moment about alcoholichism being permanent is true. I honestly feel like they clouds parted and light shown down and showed me the truth: It’s super cool you came to the same conclusion. I really identify with your “Alcohol had no benefit for me in the end and I don’t miss it one bit.” To me, I’m done. And there’s nothing to miss.
Thank you all for your replies. This forum is such an awesome place to share and support one another. I’m really glad to have this community.
I really dig your attitude man. And I generally celebrate those 3 years as well, albeit in some weird fucked up way. I’ve heard people talk about being told, “if you’re not done yet, go get done,” or something to that effect. That’s what those 3 years were, me getting “done!” Normies might not understand why I started drinking again after i got clean, but I know you guys do. 7 years of fucked up drunkenness just wasn’t enough yet.
This is a really great post. With an insight that i think we can all benefit from. Thanks so much for sharing! I think it is my favorite. I know i romanticize after a year being able to then control it and your post makes it clear thats not the case. Thanks Mel
That was a great experiment. I am glad I read this and hopefully it will encourage me to stay sober. I have 320 days of sobriety. I wish you good luck as we stay sober.
glad your back for me i went to meetings and i was home never needed to go out and try again because i know ill be back to my old self, my sons birthday was on the 15th he was 23 same day as my AA birthday wish you well
I was sober 6 months then relapsed. I seem to always find that excuse to ‘just have one’. Absolutely ridiculous… at 50 now and drank since 15 I am needing a new game plan. I am a fast vindictive drunk.
Thank you so much for sharing that. Im only 70 days clean but I keep thinking id be in control if i had a drink now. Reading this helped me realise thats not the case. Depressing but true
Right now I am sitting on 8 days clean. I have a big lump in my throat and I want to drink pretty bad. Been thinking about it all day. I too quit for a year once (2006) and I have a tattoo on my finger to remind me every day. I too figured if I could quit for a year that maybe now I could control it. Guess you can pretty easily figure out how that that turned out.
Anyway… Your post woke me up to the fact that I’m not alone in the struggle to stay sober. Thank you.
BTW this is my first post on this forum. I tried going to meetings but frankly I find some of the stuff they do kinda creepy so I don’t go. I am hoping this forum can be a tool to help me stay focused on sobriety.
Thank you for sharing…I feel lesser bad and stupid. You wrote my story. I was sober for 8 months. Than I was at this party. I thought I could do just one…but of course I couldn’t. Now I’m 4 months further and drinking like I used to do. I did join this forum like a year ago - as Miepje Suiker- and I decided to quit drinking again so I drank my last beer half an hour ago and please please please let that one be my last one forever…
My mom gave me a warning about falling into that mentality the day i told her i was quitting. She works at a law firm and every year at christmas they make reservations for dinner at this historic house turned inn and restaurant down the road from their office. She said they ate dinner and for desert they brought out a cake and she was a couple bites into a slice of it before she realized it was rum infused. She said even 35 years after her last drink it took everything in her power and a lot of praying to keep from driving straight to the liquor store and the cravings kept popping up for months after. Every time i find myself at a social event where i cant completely avoid alcohol and that “just one wont hurt” thought pops up i remind myself of that and think “ok, when ive got 100 years sober under my belt maybe ill consider drinking just one” lol
This is the exact same experience I had. I drank after 5 years of sobriety. After i drank that night, i was like, ok Ill just stop and continue with sobriety tomorrow. Yea. Thaaat didnt happen. Id forgotten that my disease wont let me just quit drinking again. Glad to hear Im not alone. 6 days sober today.
This post, and people’s responses to it, has made my fledging sobriety resolute. Only 54 days in and rather than worrying about never being able to drink again, I feel gratitude that I don’t have to. If I did drink, I would be back where I started, trapped in a life characterised by self-loathing, shame, fear and disappointment. Now I am celebrating that I can live a life free from all of this if I just keep on this path. Thank you.
Nicely put @Peace12. I was looking at saying something similar earlier.
I know nothing is going to make me take that first drink because guess what. I don’t drink.
This post should be kept going as an honest example to all of us who ever reach that point of, go on you can have one now, it’s been so long!
Thanks so much for your reply.